Forums → The Tavern → [necro] Funny short story

Ok so I wrote this short story for Creative Writing and I got an 'A' on it. Just wanted to see what you guys think of it. It had to be a childrens story so keep that in mind and seriously have a sense of humor

The wind blew, and with it came the smell of Twinkies. Yes, Twinkies. Bobo the Hobo and Fredrico the Lumberjack were in the middle of an epic battle. Yes! A Twinkie eating contest! The first prize was a lifetime supply of Egos waffles.
It was at the National Association of Snack Eating of Really Appetizing Life in Forms of Indescribably Goodness of America (or NASERALIFIGA for short) in Idaho. The competition had been going on for three days now and in a majestic display of Hoho eating, Frito munching, Dr. Pepper slurping, Goldfish gobbling, and French fry devouring Bobo and Fredrico had made it to the top.
Bobo had made it to the top by using his touch stomach he had gained from thirty-three years of eating cold leftover canned ravioli and shoelaces.
Fredrico on the other hand was so tough from years of eating live rabbits whole and eating deep-fried nails that he simply ate the food then ate the competitors.
The room was silent (except for the creaking floorboards for having so much weight on it) and Bobo and Fredrico stared into each otherâs eyes trying to intimidate each other. Bubbles the judge giggled and was about to start the event.
Bubbles was a small anorexic man who came to NASERALIFIGA each year because he thought he was fat. Everyone told him he wasnât fat but he wouldnât listen, so finally they just gave up and let him judge.
As the helpers finally finished unwrapping the Twinkies the crowd looked in anticipation. Twirling his skirt around bubbles assumed his position as judge and said, âLike O-M-G, itâs almost time to begin. So now boys, start your eating!â
And so it began. The two went at it shoving Twinkies in their mouth as fast as their stubby fingers could fling them. Tray after tray of Twinkies when by, and the two werenât even close to being finished. After a few hours sweat filed above their brows, because lifting your arm to your mouth at five hundred pounds is a lot of work.
The floorboards starting creaking very loudly and it was coming from the center table where the two sat. Bubbles giggled and in a sing-songy voice said, âLooks like someone forgot to go the gy-him!â
At that moment the table dropped into the basement with Bobo and Fredrico and Bubbles still there. Bubbles screamed and ran in all different directions. There was a sudden growl in the dark and they all froze. Bobo looked at Fredrico and gulped, âDo you think thatâs a monster, my friend?â
âEh? Maybe quite that.â
âTwâ¦â came a hiss.
âTwiâ¦â came another.
âTwinkies!â came a shout and a monster with big hairy feet and a big round body jumped out and started chasing them around. They turned to fast and there knees snapped with the sudden shift of their own body weight. So they got down on their belly and started rolling until they found the corner where Bubbles was in.
âAh, I think we found are distraction to get away my friend!â Bobo said while rolling at top speed.
âI agree,â nodded Fredrico.
They took Bubbles by the arms and flung him towards the monster.
âWhat⦠the⦠heck!â came a shriek from Bubbles shortly followed by a burp.
âThis no Twinkie! Me wants Twinkie!â Roared the monster.
Fredrico stopped and stayed where he was. Bobo seeing this stopped and sat down a little further away. The monster stopped and waited for Fredrico to say something. Fredrico smiled and said, âHere have this Twinkie,â as he handed him a Twinkie from his back pocket he continued, âif you help us win a competition weâll give you more Twinkies.â
The monster nodded and he agreed with them. Once they found there way back to the top, the monster ate all of the Twinkies and they were all sharing their waffles when all Fredrico picked up the same waffle the monster was going for. The monster growled and Fredrico screamed, âLeggo my Ego, jerk!â
The monster got easily offended and Fredrico and the waffle. Bobo seeing this died of a heart attack within a few seconds. The monster than ate all the waffles and lived happily ever after.
THE END

(P.S.) It was alot funnier with the illustrations though xP