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Deathless950
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Deathless950
1,943 posts
Nomad

I usually write down whatever comes through my mind when I find paper and its started to accumulate. So now fellow user here's what I've got, thoughtful comments and responses are appreciated.

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I never really did understand how a day could seem shorter then an hour, and a minutes worth memory more significant then a not so interesting year. It's as if father time followed not a set of rules but instead progressed illogically following emotions and dwelling on the thoughts of men. Years seem quicker as we age and we must be indeed crazy as it very well seems that are calenders have shrunk and that are clocks tick much too quick. Was it not during your first twenty years that you lived the longest? When we reflect on the past however we can't truly see ourselves as are current being overshadows what we used to be. A sort of hindsight protects are memory from forming or remembering itself in a previous less developed form. I understand my own life in fragments, pieces of mirror and reflection tossed violently together forming the hourglass that defines my existence. My mind shuffles through whats important and dwells on what isn't. But importance lacks meaning, just as normality remains a short sighted vision intertwined with society. I believe in fate but such a claim would assume I would live my life blind folded and observe truths without question. This is however deceiving in the light of my visions for I accept choice while observing fate just the same. Man will define himself, his destiny should not be spoken of until his time is spent.

Yet... sometimes I feel completely insane. I stare at reality and accept my own doom, like a man awaiting the chair condemned by his peers. I'll drift away and pretend I live in this world when I'm rarely apart of the life I'm supposedly existing. When I see people around me, I wonder if I made a significant enough impact on their lives so that I exist to them in the same way that they exist to me. Everyone else just seems so **** real. I feel like my true self remains on this inside and that society views me as inside out. Furthermore I feel apart of very little to possibly nothing at all, I speak and express and panic when I hear no one responding. My words feel like dust while others solid gold, I sometimes believe my life is a rehearsed joke, and that reality lies somewhere else. You could be looking straight at me right and I'll still fear my speech weighs nothing and that my beings slowly fading away. This demented terror haunted me and had for a long time drawn me to the conclusion that for one to grow loud he must first learn to speak as few words as possible.

Someone once told me âTo be a good friend you must listen more and talk lessâ that person was wrong. If you don't make yourself herd you don't truly exist. In fact, all that timidity shares with others is coldness, and eventually you find yourself a shadow bitterly separated from a positive reality. Depression is often a condition of the lonely, society treats this with drugs. The unfortunate fact of are time is that we cure everything with pills and ignore whats important, wellness.

But despite this it isn't always so. Man lives two different lives, one were he is happy, content, powerful and resilient and one were he's fragile, tired, lonely and dark. It is a mix of these two elements that produces are interactions with not just those around us but often towards are own physical and mental being. However confidence is the factor that plays on the occurrence rate of mans happiness, and such can only be obtained through his social success. It is not surprising therefor to note that one who doesn't receive enough attention may in correlation eventually convinces himself that he's doing something wrong. Woe to those who lives surrounded by the vile convinced his holiness to be sinful simply because he matches not the norm! The responsibility of your life is with all due respects to avoid the paths that are not paved by you. It is in consequence quite profoundly engraved in those with low self esteem that: âHow I live is the path of the incapableâ, we assume that are skin lacks hardness, that are brain intelligence and are hearts love. We assume the identity of the cold; we frown, we cry, we hate and most of all take out the worst of the human traits: Jealousy. To be jealous is to fail to see the light in one's soul. Often we hurt ourselves by thinking so highly of others. But what is confidence without an audience? We fabricate these gods of men by giving them so much authority. Strip them of their power and leave the world of hate behind. The first step towards being valued by others is to value ones self.

Often I diagnose myself with regret, an unfortunate byproduct of existence that man often uses to stab himself in the heart. I'll examine dreams and flip through pictures and wish I could do something more or do something less. Don't we all? Has time not stripped man of all his true loves and desires? Is there not a different path we could of chosen to take us in a more positive direction? It's ridiculous however when we let the past effect are present. The only thing that should effect are present is our goals leading towards the future. But do not fall into the deadly mind set of the obsessive dreamer! For he worries so much about whats next that for him there is no now. Having a now to the mental is like having legs to the physical. Consider this, the man who knows what he's currently doing lives more fulfilled then the man who thinks he knows what he will be doing. Why? Because the future is unpredictable. That's the magic, anything can happen when the sun rises tomorrow, following your goals is what's going to get that sun into the sky. Even the worst off looking men are the envy of all when they've succeeded at accomplishing their goals. Make a list, build a chart, plan out your day. You'll feel healthier, in control and most importantly satisfied. Only misery comes to those who are not satisfied and nothing comes to those who do not try.

  • 1 Reply
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,804 posts
Peasant

Well done sir. Besides a few cases where a comma is needed, or you put in an incorrect homophone, its very well written. I will wait for number two.

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