Post your favorite blond joke. I am blond so this thread is not stereotyping. I'll start it off.
A blond walks int a hairdressers and sits down for a haircut. The hairdresser said,"You have to take those headphones off if you want your hair cut". "No No", the blond replied,"My doctor says that if I take them off that I will die". The hairdresser decided to just leave the situation and cut around the headphone. After a couple of months of the blond returning to the hairdresser, the hairdresser became more and more curious as to why the blond needs to wear the headphones. One day she just pulled them off of her. The blond calapsed on the floor. Before the hairdresser went to help the blond she takes a quick listen to the headphones. There was a mans voice saying "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out" over and over again
Okay, so a blonde walks into an electronics appliances store. she walks up to a clerk and asks, "how much for that television?" the clerk replies, "we don't serve blondes." She walks out a little put out. She comes back in with a brown wig and asks the same question:"how much for that t.v.?" the clerk denies her again and she leaves infuriated. She comes back dressed as a red-headed man and asks: "How much does that T.V. cost?" The clerk, very annoyed at this point replies, "for the last time WE DON'T SERVE BLONDES!!!!! and besides, thats a microwave."
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
I kinda take offense but since they are funny, im okay with them. No offense to those offended, but heres one: (im blonde!)
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together." The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
I heard the first one before. you probably heard this but...
A blone, a brunette and a redhead are on an island. The redhead finds a lamp with a genie inside. The genie says he will give them each one wish. The redhead says she want to be home with her two young boys and POOF! She's gone. The brunette says she wants to be with her husband and POOF! she's gone. Finally it's the blonde's turn. She says, "Hmmm... I feel all alone... I wish my friends were back here with me!" and POOF! their back.
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day.....we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly states, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual, "If you need anything, just let me know."
Well, a few hours passed and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, "What's so bad now........are you gonna be OK??" "No," exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"
Hmm.. I figured this would actually be inappropriate just like "Your momma jokes". But seeing as in how this isn't locked yet, then I suppose it's okay. Unfortunately, I have no blonde jokes that come to head atm.
