Hey! I'm going to be posting some kind of narrative story here. I know it isn't very good but I'll improve on this as I go!

I know this has several grammar and punctuation mistakes. Don't worry though! I'll fix them later. Be nice because I don't usually write although constructive criticism is welcome. :D (Keep in mind I'm only 14)

Hope you guys and girls enjoy. :). I'm not too good at writing :/ but I try! :D

Chapter 1 "Being a detective doesn't get you much money"
I have to be honest; when my brother said he was starting a detective agency, I wasn’t expecting that in couple of weeks we’d be arguing on who ate the last corn flake. Nick was good older brother, but sometimes I question what he does.

“Ha!” Nick triumphantly screamed, “It’s tails and I win.”
“Hold on a second here,” I objected, “We didn’t decide on whether we would flip the coin over after it landed.”
“Cough up the cornflake James,” Nick demanded.
I had a cornflake in my mouth and spat it out at Nick’s face.
“You’re disgusting!” he cried.
I was about to tell him that I did exactly as he had asked, but someone knocked on the door. I may admittedly be stupid but I knew this might be the case Nick was looking for. I quickly pulled up a chair for Nick and I before the man had a chance to see us arguing over a cornflake. My chair was a little higher than Nick’s; it was to make me look older than 14 years old. I had to do a fair amount of things to make myself look older and by the end of it, I looked like a 15 year old who’s make up was worth more than his clothes. The man walked in, he was a little chubby, 6 foot tall and he smelled like he was wearing 5 cans of deodorant. The man looked surprised, probably because he wasn’t expecting a 15-year-old boy to be wearing makeup. “Who is he?” the man grumbled while pointing over to me. My brother sighed and told him “Don’t worry he’s just my kid brother, he won’t be in the way of anything…”
“More importantly, who are you?” I interrupted.
I hate to use the cliché phrase but if looks could kill I’d have been steam rolled and cut into tiny pieces. The man smiled, “I like you kid. The name’s Mr. Simple.” he commented. My brother made a huge sigh of relief before trying to change the subject casually, “So what do you want from me Mr. Simple?” Mr. Simple went into deep thought for a few seconds. “First of all, call me Oscar,” he stated, “Second of all open this tomorrow at 8:00pm.” He dropped an envelope in my hand.
“How do I know there’s not a bomb in this envelope” My brother questioned.
“Trust me, it’s not” Oscar assured.
I could see he was telling the truth.
“Well I’m not some cheap detective here that hold envelopes for you Oscar”, my brother responded, “If you want a bank there’s one across the road, what makes you think you need a detective for this?”
Oscar dropped five hundred dollars on the table, “Is that enough?” he grinned, “I’ll give you one hundred dollars a day plus expenses as well”
I could see Nick was trying to bargain with him and I knew the man wasn’t going to barter so I quickly spoke up “How do we contact you?” I asked
“Go to the fifth floor at the Altrulz hotel, I’m number 98” Oscar revealed, “You will found out other ways to contact me soon enough” as he walked out the door.
I was puzzled, what was a man with five hundred dollars staying at the Altrulz hotel? It all seemed a bit strange to me.