Forums → The Tavern → Friend Help (Girls, please help here)
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One of my greatest friends is a girl I love, but she doesn't want to go past friendzone. We still talk a lot, but it hurts me not being able to go past friendzone. I'm a protective person, but it's her life, I can't control her, I never want to. I just want her to live a good life, even if she doesn't want me. I've even lost sleep in the past couple weeks on this. So here are my questions:
What should I do?
How should I react to her having a boyfriend (I am not the jealous type)?
My siblings work at the school she goes to, and I was told that she told them that we are talking to each other, how do I tell her she is more important to me than any other human who is alive on Earth right now (I'm a Christain)?
- 16 Replies
First, general relationship thread is probably the place to post it (see GhostofMatrix's link).
Second, I wouldn't say my advice is the advice you should necessarily follow, actually it may be less advice and more just what I would do in your situation.
1.) If I were you I would not tell her anything about how I felt. I would play it cool. Unless she confronts you directly and asks you if you have feelings for her. Then it will be up to you to decide if you should tell her or not.
2.) I would stay friends with her, but try to spend less time with her and less time thinking about her. It can't hurt you to start looking for other girls, you may end up finding someone you like more.
Also, remember she may have already known you like her more than a friend, even if you didn't say anything to her directly. Word may have gotten out through friends or she may have picked up on nonverbal cues, and other behaviors from you, that you like her more than a friend.
If she did know that, keep in mind that this didn't stopped her from deciding to date someone else. Kind of inconsiderate of her, in a sense. But, still don't say anything mean to her either keep it cool.
If you are younger (a teen) most relationships don't last very long. If you keep her as a friend, who knows, her relationship may not work out after only a few months. You could wait for an opportune time after her break up to tell her how you feel (not too soon after her break up, but not too late either). If she didn't know you liked her, you will have the element of surprise on your side.
I also read somewhere on the internet, I can't find the article, that data may show that girls and guys that are friends for longer periods end up dating and have better relationships because they were friends for a decent period beforehand, building trust and bond etc. The article specifically mentioned this as a positive to the friendzone. So it's not all bad being in the friendzone. Just don't slow yourself down meeting new girls.
Also, if you start meeting and talking to other girls right now, which is what I recommended, you may end up finding a girl you like more and by the time this girl we are talking about now breaks up with her bf, you may not even care and be in a relationship of your own with a different girl.
To sum up my advice:
- Keep it cool. Don't tell her how you feel just yet, she may already know, and it may end up making things awkward.
- Don't slow yourself down. It might be hard at first to think of meeting and talking to new girls, because none can live up to this girl (who is dating someone else) that you have a crush on. But it can't hurt you to meet new girls while keeping this other girl as a friend.
That's the best I can do on the subject.
Thanks, Reton. I looked at the General Relationship thread already, and decided to put it here, on a new thread so I could find it easier.
I realized I never explained that I text her, and she knows that I like her, I regrettfully made her guess that I like her when I left something in a text on accident. I've liked her for 2 years without her knowing.
I looked at the General Relationship thread already, and decided to put it here, on a new thread so I could find it easier.
Yeah, but...ya see...that isn't how it works.
You dont post a new thread for more views. There is a reason for the relationship being sticky and general.
I want to know when my problem is answered, and my problem is not like a normal one, there is no normal one.
You dont post a new thread for more views.
There is reason that there is little or no activity in the AG forums......Starting general threads for inquisitive purposes makes it so that many people don't get they're questions answered.You have to start a separate forum for FAQ's if you don't want threads like this..... That, or make a reply button so that we don't have to quote people......
One of my greatest friends is a girl I love, but she doesn't want to go past friendzone.
so im gonna guess you told her already. in that case theres nothing else you can do.
you could try and keep approaching her but if she already knows i doubt it will do much.
my advice? keep being friends and just work on getting over it. theres no one perfect love for a person and you will find someone else eventually.
but i do have to ask. how does this problem has anything to do with you asking girls to answer this and mentioning your christian?
What do you mean, Pang?
*pang
Danke
I want to know when my problem is answered, and my problem is not like a normal one, there is no normal one.
But it is a problem regarding relationships, for which we have a stickied thread for.
If you want to know when your problem receives a response, you can check the thread.
There is reason that there is little or no activity in the AG forums......Starting general threads for inquisitive purposes makes it so that many people don't get they're questions answered
The General Relationship Thread was created so that the forum didn't have it overflowing with threads regarding the general topic. Believe it or not, that used to be a problem.
Well this is a specific case. The reason the General Relationship Thread was created was too consolidate all the threads being started about relationships.
From Original Post of the General Relationship Thread:
I've noticed the increase in threads being made about problems with relationships and dating. Now, I have no problem with the subject matter. No, my problem is with the amount of threads people are creating about it.
So the reason to post in the General Relationship thread would be to reduce the number of threads about relationships and to keep useful answers all in one place. However, the forums have slowed down quite a bit since 2011 (when the General Relationship Thread was started). So It doesn't really look like one additional thread could hurt.
I'd like to rephrase my advice again, basically yeah, it can't hurt to remain friends with the girl (as long as things don't get awkward), but always keep your options open, you don't want to look back on your life and say, "Wow, I wasted so much time on one girl that never dated me, all the possibilities I missed out one."
Who knows, maybe further down the road you will end up with this girl (I did read somewhere that being friends with a girl first, especially for longer times, builds trust and what not).
Who knows, maybe this girl will have a friend (that is a girl) that you will meet through your current friend (who is a girl). Also, keeping this girl as a friend could be beneficial if she is inviting you to parties or places where you can meet her other single friends.
Who knows, if you keep your options open and do not slow yourself down for this girl, you may find someone else who you really like.
Basically just repeating myself though lol.
@thebluerabbit #2: I mentioned that I'm a Christain because I love her more than anyone on this Earth that is alive now, I believe that Jesus Christ rose from the dead and went to Heaven, so he was on this Earth and now is in Heaven.
#1: I just want to know what girls think of this and get their advice since this is a problem that involves a girl.
how do I tell her she is more important to me than any other human who is alive on Earth right now
Ummm, there is no way to tell her, other then just flat out telling her. Are you sure this other guy is her boyfriend?
Maybe give yourself a few days. I've known a few girls who I got upset over when they got a boyfriend, but after I thought about it a while, I realized that perhaps she just wasn't interested in me. I have a ton of friends that are girls, and there is nothing wrong with caring about them. They don't have to be your girlfriend for you to give them advice, tell them what you think, ETC... If she is really your friend, she will listen to you. I wouldn't worry or get upset.
But if you really really REALLY like her, go ahead and tell her flat out that you like her. Get it over with, you'll feel better, and she'll realize how much that she actually means to you.
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