ForumsArt, Music, and WritingFor Once In This World of Blue

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webs168
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webs168
5 posts
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For once in this world of blue
I've found a color thats bright and new
With warming quality and a crystalline gleam
I've been shamed by the people and shunned by the queen
I've found myself a new color of which i call black
For once in this world of blue
I found something new
I found darkness
In this world of blue


What do you think 'This world of blue is'?

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IceClaw247
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IceClaw247
860 posts
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I really like it, you've got your meters right and consistent, it's well structured building to the longest line in the middle with a faster pace as the poem draws to the end. The only thing I think can be done to improve it is maybe you could use enjambment on the penultimate line?

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