ForumsThe TavernA Review On: Stilhaus Kitchens Reviews!

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zaxera
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zaxera
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What a great forum this is. Full of fantastic tips and information. So glad I found it.

  • 37 Replies
Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
9,685 posts
3,430

Are you...are you sure you don't want to give us an ad link first?

pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
10,171 posts
2,975

I..I can't tell if this is some awesome humor about all the kitchen review ads this site gets...or if you are drawing us in to hit us with one..

either way I love it

Gantic
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Gantic
11,706 posts
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Now, I don't know if I should delete this thread or keep it for the humor value.

UnleashedUponMankind
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UnleashedUponMankind
11,177 posts
20,870

Ill vote for humor!^^

Ferret
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Ferret
9,234 posts
6,065

It is, however, in Support. So I'll move it to Tavern. That's a silly place.

FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
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15,490

The stilhaus I ordered was the wrong colour. Close enough? Fuchsia? How does "beige" look anything like "fuchsia"??? Your delivery team's incompetence is simply astonishing. And these cupboards! What good are cupboards if they don't open? Huh? That's the whole point of cupboards! A 20% surcharge for delivery? The supply outlet is only two blocks away from where your delivery guys dumped it -- AND dragged it through the garden, crushing my would-be-prize-winning begonias and breaking the water meter. You said the return policy is void after the box is opened. Well, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN IT UNTIL IT'S OPEN. Really, how hard is it to retape a box? What kind of idiot would fall for that ridiculous gimmick? Next time I need furniture or appliances, I'll be sure to go with anything other than a stilhaus!

That concludes my review of Stilhaus Kitchens.

gh0sts
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gh0sts
888 posts
1,320

are you sure you don't want to give us an ad link first?


I think he was going to, but then got distracted by how fantastic this forum is as he was creating the thread.
R2D21999
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R2D21999
18,225 posts
8,700

Seems the adverts are getting smart.

FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
2,762 posts
15,490

Just watch them paraphrase that to

"The stilhaus I ordered was ... simply astonishing."
"The supply outlet is only two blocks away"
"What kind of idiot would ... go with anything other than a stilhaus!"
blk2860
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blk2860
10,795 posts
1,850

3/10

I don't know, the kitchens they make can't compress into a Pepsi can for quick kitchen camouflage purposes. They're just not portable. Also, just after I bought mine, I slipped on the floor, decked myself on the counter, and broke seven of my teeth. I sued for 18,000 dollars, but they broke into my house, and erased all of the footage that my CCTV camera caught of the incident. Then, they collected the blood, and are now cloning me. I copyrighted myself in 1999, so what they did was illegal. But seriously, the floor is just so shiny! That almost makes up for all of it!

So yeah, that's my review. (I love this thread. It's just... awesome.)

FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
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Also, just after I bought mine, I slipped on the floor, decked myself on the counter, and broke seven of my teeth.


Didn't you send their brochure to 20 friends? I think that's on the order form/liability waiver somewhere.
blk2860
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blk2860
10,795 posts
1,850

Didn't you send their brochure to 20 friends? I think that's on the order form/liability waiver somewhere.


I did, but the chain letter didn't work because I left it under the barbecue sauce dispenser in the kitchen. Which by the way works really well! The only problem is it goes off at 3:00 AM every night, splattering whatever's under it. Oh, also because sometimes it accidentally dispenses human souls.
MrDayCee
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MrDayCee
13,368 posts
27,635

Man... I've ordered my kitchens (yes, several) a few weeks ago and they STILL haven't been delivered?!

So I called Stillhaus to ask about this huge delay and the lady that picked up the phone said it was an unfortunate chain of events that involved
- a half-eaten sandwich,
- a paperclip,
- an indoor plant,
- a roll of tape,
- a plastic cup of coffee,
- a waste bin,
- pigeon poop,
- an office chair,
- a window and
- a computer monitor...

Then she laughed... and hung up the phone! Wut?! (oO)

How's that for service and delivery? >

gh0sts
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gh0sts
888 posts
1,320

Man... I've ordered my kitchens (yes, several) a few weeks ago and they STILL haven't been delivered?!


You can thank the ninja bunny hit squad. They've terminated all kitchen purchasing services. Unfortunately, with the ninja bunny hit squad, there are no refunds.
FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
2,762 posts
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Last Wednesday I bought my new kitchen from a competent supplier. Well, when I say "bought", I mean I signed the papers, wrote a cheque, and everything, but...I'm not sure if the purchase applies now that the furniture outlet has exploded. Police suspect it was arson, but it didn't seem likely for such a big company. I mean, they never even had a liquidation sale or anything.

I tried calling the main branch, but when they picked up there was just a weird...gargling sound and the connection dropped. I wasn't sure what to make of it. Then that news report yesterday on the disappearance of the company executives along with all the account records; I only caught a glimpse before the camera changed, but I swear I could see "STILH" in the gashes on the office wall, right above the weird little dent shaped like a maltese cross. What's even stranger is that one of the investigators in the background looked a lot like the stilhaus delivery guy, and he kept putting things from the scene into his pocket.

Now I suspect stilhaus has a record of my purchase, which is a bit unsettling considering how insistent they were about making another sale. There's already a box truck idling a short way down the street with what looks like the stilhaus logo under a thin layer of paint, and every now and then I see some workmen carry another big roll of linoleum out to it. I mean REALLY big. You could probably carry a step ladder or an extra guy in one of those.

Maybe there's a simple explanation to all this, though. Yeah, I'm sure it's just normal stuff. Anyway, that's my follow-up report.

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