ForumsThe TavernA Review On: Stilhaus Kitchens Reviews!

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zaxera
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zaxera
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What a great forum this is. Full of fantastic tips and information. So glad I found it.

  • 35 Replies
MrDayCee
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MrDayCee
13,383 posts
30,385

This is SO much fun!!! ^^

Jacen96
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Jacen96
3,113 posts
5,600

[quote=BLK]the kitchens they make . . . compress into a Pepsi can . . . portable.[/quote]

Thank you for your wonder review of our product.

~~~Darth Caedus

MattEmAngel
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MattEmAngel
7,746 posts
4,340

My Stilhaus Kitchen may also be responsible for:
- Diarrhea
- BBQ stains on things that don't come out
- Girls posting about how ugly they are on facebook
- Arachnophobia
- Genocide
- The Kennedy Assassination
- Creepypasta
- Everything in Australia trying to kill you
- The Third Reich
- "Doctors hate this one weird trick" banner ads
- PTSD
- Bad cosplayers
- "Go Daddy" Superbowl ads
- Pedobear
- Gangrene
- Rick rolling
- The Stock Market crash of 1929
- The beeping sound your car makes when you don't take the key out of the ignition
- Vegetarian bacon
- The "It's not you; it's me" breakup line
- Unskippable pre-video advertisement on YouTube
- Comic Sans MS
- The Black Death (1348-50)
- Putting two socks in a dryer and only having one when the cycle ends
- Snoring pugs
- The atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki (1945)
- Singing "Happy Birthday" and forgetting the person's name mid-chorus
- Nigerian banker spam e-mails
- "YOLO"
- Having an awesome dream and forgetting it one nanosecond after you wake up
- Surprise NSFW links
- Breast cancer
- The Red Ring of Death
- The Blue Screen of Death
- Any song that repeats one stanza at least ten consecutive times
- The Legend of Zelda animated series (1989)
- Discovering that an attractive female is actually an attractive male with a bad attitude
- Neckties
- The "France surrenders" joke
- Homicide rates
- College tuition prices
- Joe Biden dropping the "f-bomb" on national television at least twice
- The downfall of Chatroulette
- The Spanish Inquisition
and the lack of an Edit button for forum posts on Armor Games.

MrDayCee
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MrDayCee
13,383 posts
30,385

So, I called them again today and an older sounding woman's voice answered the phone with a mumbling "h-helllooo?!?"... huh-wut?! ... (oO) ... okright, I immediately started to explain to her that I was calling to check up on my delivery, when she interrupted me mid-sentence with... "h-helllooo?!? Johnny?! Is-is that you son?!?" ...(oO) ... uhmm, no ma'am, I'm not Johnny... I am calling about the kitchen I ordered from Stilhaus... this is the Stilhaus main office, right? "Johnny... you are crawling around the kitchen and m-murdered some lil' mouse?! Oh-oh myyy... bad boy!!" ... yes, errr... NO! NO!! (Oo) ... *sigh* ... ma'am, this is Stilhaus? You work for Stilhaus, right? "No Johnny, you k-know that your g-grandm-mother stopped working a-ages ago... w-when you were still a little boy! You silly..." (oO)

I took a big breath and assessed the situation a bit... "Are you still there, Johnny" ... yes ma'am, I'm still here... but my name is not 'Johnny', I'm not your grandson, ok? *frown* "Who-who is this th-then?! What did you d-do to Johnny?!" ... sorry ma'am?! "I'm-I'm notifying the orderly and h-have him call the policeman!" ... (oO) ... uhmm, 'orderly' you say ma'am? Are you in a retirement home?! "Yes, you bad man... where else should I be at-at the age of 94?!" ... *94?!* ... (OO) ...errr, ma'am? ... "What?!" ... Could you possibly hand the phone to the orderly for me? I would like to talk to him, please? "He's j-just entering the room... he will t-tell you n-now! You j-just w-wait!!" ... *static sound* ... Hello? ... Hello? Anyone there? ... ..."Yes, this is Ray speaking? Who is this?" ... I quickly explained the situation to him and that I was under the impression that I called Stilhaus Kitchens' main office? ... Ray told me right away, that the 'Old Green Oak Retirement Home' recently obtained a new telephone number for Miss Jefferson after her grandson's business was moved to another location. She wanted to use this number, because she thought it was easy for her grandson to remember calling her whenever he sees '0800-KITCHEN'. We never understood this, but we hooked her up with this number 2 days ago. That's all... ... *rubbing temple* ... I think I understand the situation a little... ...right, uhmm... *sigh* ...sorry for bothering you sir! Could you please apologise to Miss Jefferson for me? I am sorry for the trouble... "No problem, I will tell her. Bye sir!" ... *distant shouting* ... "you will call the p-policeman on him Ray? He should be arrested for kidnapping my grands..." ... *click* ...

Aaaannnd, we're back to cooking on the camping stove again... *moans* ... tomorrow's a new day...
Ugh... (-.-)

MattEmAngel
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MattEmAngel
7,746 posts
4,340

Also, experts say that the Stilhaus Kitchen may be connected to:
- Ethnic stereotypes
- Chinese triads
- Three different spellings for words that sound the same in English
- No backwards compatibility for new game consoles
- Vending machines eating your money
- Global warming
- Nickelback
- Telemarketers
- Batteries not being included
- Camel spiders
- The "noob tube"
- Jar-Jar Binks
- Spelling a word wrong in an Internet debate
- Underage games playing M-rated games online
- Organic chemistry
- Naming things in Latin
- Off-brand ketchup that looks like real ketchup
- "North West"
- Keanu Reeves portraying an emotional character
- The Bermuda Triangle
- Free apps that require in-game purchases to play for any length of time
- Rabies
- Partial complex epilepsy
- The Kardashians
- Slenderman
- Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)
- "Justin Bieber's Believe" (2013)
- World War I
- World War II
- World War III
- Losing the TV remote even though you had it a minute ago
- Communism
- "Paranormal Activity 4" (2012)
- Stepping on a LEGO with bare feet
- Loud people being loud in public without realizing they are being loud
- The Ford Edsel
- Osama Bin Laden
- FOX News
- Influenza
- #SELFIE (2014)
- "Little Baby's Ice Cream" commercials
- Flappy Bird spinoff games
- Ghost dying in "Modern Warfare 2"
- Soap dying in "Modern Warfare 3"
- Minecraft creepers
- Valve never finishing a trilogy
- Tuberculosis
- The Lincoln Assassination
- "Don't Hug me I'm Scared"
- Twerking
- Honey Boo Boo
- Every movie directed by M. Night Shyamalan
- Arsonists
- Skids and Mudflap in "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
- The plot of LOST
- The NSA's goal to "acquire the capabilities to gather intelligence on anyone, anytime, anywhere."
- The Salem witch trials
- Jaden Smith in "After Earth" (2013)
and "how do i add freinds" thread on Armor Games.

Ferret
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Ferret
9,284 posts
6,150

Stepping on a LEGO with bare feet


You've taken it too far.
MrDayCee
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MrDayCee
13,383 posts
30,385

Man... we should have like buttons for the posts. Yours would have totally got a thumb up Ferret! Haha =P

MrDayCee
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MrDayCee
13,383 posts
30,385

I'm desperate for a new kitchen... =/

http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1375/1094992379_3678c983fe.jpg

Reton8
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Reton8
3,047 posts
29,175

Is that really your kitchen!?
What happened?

Salvidian
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Salvidian
4,229 posts
2,255

STILHAUS THIS IS A KITCHEN EMERGENCY WHERE ARE YOU

http://img.izismile.com/img/img4/20110414/640/the_filthiest_and_640_03.jpg

(not my actual kitchen)

MrDayCee
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MrDayCee
13,383 posts
30,385

Nah... don't worry, that's not my actual kitchen! =P

But I think... Sal wins this round! (oO)

Ernie15
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Ernie15
13,433 posts
5,660

You guys, I think Stilhaus might not be a great investment.

This was my kitchen before Stilhaus...

http://cdn.stylisheve.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Fancy-Kitchen-Designs_01.jpg

...and this is what it looked like a few days after I bought Stilhaus:

http://www.themaneater.com/media/2009/0828/photos/fire002b_jpg_775x525_q85.jpg

Minotaur55
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Minotaur55
1,387 posts
2,720

How did this thread turn into a serious discussion? Please explain, I want to know how zaxera did this.

FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
2,831 posts
18,480

I wouldn't exactly call it serious, but because it had no real content to begin with we just sort of...filled in our own. You could say that no publicity is bad publicity, but I like to think that it has value as an object of ridicule.

Reton8
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Reton8
3,047 posts
29,175

@Ernie15
Your kitchen's burned, but your living room is just fine.
Everything's coming up Stilhaus!

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