ForumsArt, Music, and WritingThe Masta's Teasers

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SportShark
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SportShark
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Scribe

These short introductory writings which I will post in this thread are taken from some of my outlines for short stories that I want to write. If one particular teaser becomes very popular, I just might share the entire story with you all!

Here is the first one:

The Busari-
Eons ago when the earth was a much different place, a single great continent spanned for tens of thousands of miles and was home to many ferocious beasts. The warlike people which inhabited this continent were very different than the small, weak people of today. The footprint made by these ancient people is said to have had the length of a man's forearm and they are said to have stood twice the height of the common man of today. Although they existed millenia ago, some evidence of these great people has been found but not disclosed to the general public because this evidence would challenge the very basis of what we assume to be true of science and the history of the world. This is an account of these people and how they lived. They are know to cryptohistorians as the Zsusbar-Ri, which translates as- The Busari.


Let me know what you think.

/// Mastaplaya

  • 7 Replies
samiel
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samiel
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Shepherd

Hmmmmm Intriguing tell me more.

FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
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Duke

Although they existed millenia ago, some evidence of these great people has been found but not disclosed to the general public because this evidence would challenge the very basis of what we assume to be true of science and the history of the world.


Oddly enough, part of this is almost spot on, and part is so outlandish that it pushes suspension of disbelief to the limit.
The first part is that there actually was a period in the fossil record when an uncharacteristically large Homo heidelbergensis population existed in Africa a few hundred milennia ago. A stature of about 7 feet seems to have been the norm.
The second part, where people hide the evidence to preserve the current historical or scientific model is complete nonsense. I don't mean they would resolutely stick to their moral obligation; just that they would need to have an extremely good motive to pass up making the archaeological discovery of a lifetime.

They are know to cryptohistorians as the Zsusbar-Ri, which translates as- The Busari.


This is confusing. You have one name translating to another name, but neither seems to have a translatable meaning. Wouldn't they just be two different names given by separate people?
SportShark
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SportShark
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Fish, don't take it so seriously.
My point is simply to create an interesting story, not to be accurate with known history. If it seems far fetched, that's because it probably is.
I just saw that I misspelled "known"- I put "know". Sorry about that error.

This is confusing. You have one name translating to another name, but neither seems to have a translatable meaning. Wouldn't they just be two different names given by separate people?

Yeah, I see what you mean. I'll have to revise that.
FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
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Duke

My point is simply to create an interesting story, not to be accurate with known history. If it seems far fetched, that's because it probably is.


I'm just saying that it's hard to follow that part of the plot, because the motive is unclear. Maybe if there's a danger to having the general populace know about it, or if they can somehow make a huge profit off the discovery's concealment.
SportShark
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SportShark
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Well, I am more interested in telling about "The Busari". I guess that part about the general public is superfluous and distracting from the main point.

In the next part I write about this subject, I am planning to introduce a certain civilization of these people. These people have been living in harmony with their world, but I will trouble them with a dark danger that they must overcome in order to survive (I haven't thought of what it will be yet).

SportShark
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SportShark
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Scribe

Ok, here are some starting lines to various random stories. Let me know if you want to continue with one of them:

Once upon a time in a bejeweled kingdom there lived a beautiful princess...
Once upon a time in a bejeweled kingdom there lived a wise king...
Once upon a time in a bejeweled kingdom there lived a really annoying man called The Shamwow Guy...
Once upon a time in a bejeweled kingdom there lived three people: George Bush Jr., Salvidor Dali, and Quentin Tarantino...
Once upon a time in a bejeweled kingdom there was nothing new under the sun...
Once upon a time in a bejeweled kingdom there were three no good hooligans who took a blood oath to change their no good ways...
Once upon a time in a bejeweled kingdom a fat guy tripped over a bump and fell in a mud puddle...

SportShark
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SportShark
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Scribe

Oh, won't you, won't you visit visit my profile very very soon,
I cannot cannot wait all through tonight until next noon,
Soon darkness will be a falling and out will come the moon,
The night owl will be a calling and a tormenting the lonesome loon,
Never ever mind how you do it, for that I do not care,
The very presence of my mind is looming in the air,
Do not pass on by for that you will not dare,
Click on my name and act like you do vaguely care,
For the presence of my mind is a looming in the air,
For the presence of my mind is a looming in the air,
For the presence of my mind is a looming in the air,
*chorus*

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