Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → saphire's poetry and stuff
I saw Legend doing this, and I thought it was a good idea. I found that poetry is a good way to say stuff, so...
Also, feel free to comment, I don't mind what you think about it.
You say that you trust me
But how can I know.
you say you love me
But it never shows.
you know nothing at all
of how I feel
'cos I hide it in smiles
and all that false zeal
I'm fed up and sick
of my freedom destroyed
I cant trust you with how I feel
'cos you will just say
That it's nothing, and that it isn't a big deal
Why can't you see and take notice.
You don' even know I'm here.
I try hard to please you
and do as you say
But still don't tell you my fear.
We were a family once
with music and joy and fun.
But now they all left
there's a hole in my heart
and now nothing can be done.
So say to me that you're proud.
That no-one you know can do that
but see past the skill, to the mind within
and see all the damage you've done
- 26 Replies
full of fright.
only to leave.
with a lung-full of air.
As a daughter I know my place,
To do as I am told
I have no right to think or speak
until I'm slightly old.
My life is yours, as I can't think
quite how you want me to.
Until I mess up your plan and then
"It's not my fault, it's you"
I work and work behind your back
on things you will never see.
Because, you see, when it comes to life,
I'm not you, I'm me.
The first talking about your father right ? It's really Deep and share me a lot, Congratz! It remember me a lot of feelings about mine ..
For the 2nd , First time i see a poem about Asthma x'D It's strange but i liked it , and the way you describe a thing like that. It shouldn't be easy to live with that everyday.
And Finally 3rd was cool too ! Sometimes Parents seems to control our life ,
it's not very pleasant , I think it's their way to show us that they want the best for ourselves. But in my opinion it's not the better solution , They should listen us and maybe one day they can understand our point of view and see why some littles things matter a lot for us.
You seem to be talented for making poem , maybe you should participate on the contest ?
Here's the link : Contest !!
Current theme is memory I think you can doing well into it !
See you next time maybe ^.^ !
I do sometimes enter the constests. :P Have you read the ones on the first page? I'm very grateful for feedback. :3 See you around. :P
Hahaha you will probably laugh but.. It's like this exam in the past where I just forgot one page.. X'D so I've just see this one Hahaha I will probably take a look at the first page and give you my thoughts about
Edit: about Good Day at work, Wow you really like your job x'D you must be lucky, I personally hope I will find a place like this were I can feel that ! Thanks for sharing happiness !
Hahaha the second make me laugh, it's original to see a poem about armorgames x'D It's true for me too, I'm more of a solitary walker xD but I must admit I really enjoyed the community here, some people are really nice and talented here it's cool to share with !
The 3rd is about your family ? It's the way I've see it x'D I sometimes feel very different of my family.. Sometimes they talk together and I really don't know what to say they're are in their world.. They often seen to late I was right, doing mistake that they've could dodge if they were listen to what I've said
The 4th is really deep you seems to suffer a lot..
Life is really cruel, but it's like a pendulum, when you take a lot of bad thing, One day you will take a lot of good too =) patience and endure are the key !
About your artwork ! Wow.. You're really talented, It's not your original artwork but seriously ! You have nice pen skills ! I'm pretty sure you will doing very well on a real ! maybe you will try some entries to the Halloween armatars contest ? Here's the link: Contest
Wow.. you're not very lucky as I can see x'D I've experienced death a little too not in a way as far as you, strangely I ever left well x'D I'm sorry sad memories about my country x'D
Hey I just want to say if you're are here again it's surely because you're worth it hahaha maybe you will shine one day !
The next was really sad.. :/ but it share emotional stuff ! Congrats !
And finally ! It's always hard when you try to shine for people and they just crush you x'D, it's really hard to live in a place that we hate x'D I personally feel that everyday, I've just want World to change in a better way, I can't understand some corrupted peoples who lead us and less the others who just accept that x'D maybe one day we could live in a good world ? I've haste to see that happen !
Hope my thoughts can help you ! You're talented so never give up
See you again maybe ^.^ !
Thank you so much. :3 You've reminded me, I've got another verse to add to one of them.
I have lived, and will die
in at least 4 different ways
By water and fire
poison and age
one more to add
since I wrote the first verse
One more life got lost,
it seams like I'm cursed.
My first was a food
Struck down at aged 2
The poison consumed me
My first life was through
My second was sickness
a burning disease
My insides consumed
I died with a wheeze
Water was third
at 7 in France
I drowned, but was saved
by the slimmest chance.
Once more chance has saved me
when a helmet I wore
life and memory lost
when my bike hit the floor.
Five will come later
When? I don't know
I will run out of chances
Still, onward I go!
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment! :3
Hahaha You're welcome it was a pleasure !
Your verset reminds me of a memory x'D, Bike don't like me either Hahaha
When I was young maybe 13-14 years old, I was in a forest slope with my classroom,
My first wheel hit a rock and the brakes were disable x'D So I started to gain more and more speed and I can see a deep precipice and can't stop my bike xD the thing who saved my life was a little tree x'D it was really thin but it stop me like that comic scene in the cartoon x'D when the tree balances to right and left x'D !
Nature can be really surprising !
I hope you don't need to add more verset to that one in the future Hahaha!
Try to be careful Hahaha !
You enter my lair
and what do you see?
The various objects;
the essence of me.
The paintings of beasts
lined up in long rows,
the books of adventure
where heroes trade blows.
My glasses stand ready
by the cold mug of tea.
The large stack of papers
from a tidying spree.
My sister's new clothes
piled up in a heap.
The tall stack of sketches
shows the nights without sleep.
Though cluttered and messy,
it's clearly my zone
as it holds in a lifetime
of memories I own.
This is some pretty great stuff! I like that it flows so easily when reading. Why not try your hand at other styles of poetry too?
find someone who makes you smile
who listens when you speak
who likes you for you
tell someone that you like making them smile
that you listen to their every word
that you like them for them
know someone exists for you and
know you exist for someone
I felt like expressing myself after reading your craft, Saphire.
I dont know if you are in the same situation as me, but I identify with your verses.
Please keep telling us your stories as beautifully arranged words
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