Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
- 3,868 Replies
Oh wow...it's the weekend? I've seriously lost track of the days...
Hmmm . . . jk. I'll have a lot of time Saturday through Monday, though. I've just been really busy of late.
I was away on a camp...and it went from a Thursday to Friday - the next week. So because I missed out on last weekend due to it...I was messed up :P
I'm assuming you're judging right now?
Well, it's Monday here in the states...hopefully the busyness didn't extend past the weekend.
All right, this was even tougher than the Pulse one. Everyone was worthy of placing in this one, fer srs.
Moar honorable mentions. I'm throwing the usual format out the window because I have almost a four-way tie for first place. I'll crit the four that I chose, and I'll mention in the crit who won. I'm short on time here, so if you want an in-depth crit on your piece - whether you placed or not - message me on my profile and I'll oblige you soon enough.
1.3rd place, a great submission with a different type of shock, Wolf!
Within these silent rooms
The pacing yet to cease.
I pass the time of night and day
And wallow in my grief.
Oh fair wonder of the world.
Oh angel in my waking eye
What beast have I become?
What wicked soul am I?
Black hearted ambitions
Which were filled with good intention
Have led me down this path
Of war and grieving aftermath.
Where the sun rose red and bloody
And set over fields of crimson red
I have destroyed thy beauty
In one grave you lie dead.
Here marches the legions
That I have spawned forth
Through wicked thought and deed
Good thoughts are not my worth.
For here in Hell I shall abide
With wicked words upon my tongue.
These thoughts and actions I have made
And the world has become undone.
Ah yes, this is a great poem. There's a visceral, cerebral quality to it that is really fantastic, and the flow and rhyme are wonderful. It's a sort of guilty shock, and with the attention-to-detail you pay to make that feeling ring true, you couldn't ask for a much better submission.
1.2nd place, a fantastic piece from one of our favorite wordsmiths, Zoark!
Atop a black mane
sits an ivory tower
jutting out roughly
showing it's power
The tuft of cream
against the darkness behind
conjures an image
of rebellion to mind
A streak of brilliance
across the pitch
seen as unsightly
begins to itch
Effort despite,
the eccentric pyre
becomes an anomaly
a signal fire
Ashen fibre
shows noncompliance
individuality
a constant annoyance
Chemical warfare
tries to defy
the bleached variance
has a reply
Amongst the raven,
pallid seizing
lies the stripe
teasing, teasing
As usual, you deliver a piece with great rhyming and near-immaculate flow. The imagery you put forward is awesome, and slightly abstract - it fits the theme well, albeit differently than the other submissions. Quite good, quite good.
1.1st place, a great poem from everybody's favorite Quebecian, Fallen!
They gave me ink, sheets and a feather
To create life out of thin air
Cooped in my prayer capsule, I wonder
Whom shall create my flair
Closure, yet measureless spaces
They galore here; of both I need
Eye of eyes; omnipercipient races
The void surges as a gleaming bleed
For a page is thought before it is written
A conception to take place upon blank
So fare thee well upon those lines given;
Expanding traits in an infinite prank
Drawn on a canvas of many dreams
Reality may be a ticking clock
And as appaling as it seems
We live, die and rot in a shock
As ideas upon a mind
As the universe now blind
WOnderful, as usual. This submission is vibrant and imaginative, with fantastic flow and great rhyming. Like Zoark, you do a great job showing the poem, not telling it, and as such it is a strong piece. Very good.
1st place, our merit-winner, the always-fantabuloustic Parsat!
My fingers ran through the raven locks,
The raven locks that cascaded softly
Across her face--the pair of almond eyes
And innocently flushed cheeks--and down
A length just long enough to hide her breasts.
When I ran my fingers through her hair,
I did with fingers parted like a comb
And delicately, without a rush,
Broke all the light resistance in that hair,
The locks within the locks that could be picked
With fingers made to press piano keys.
And when she kissed me, her hands went into
A shock of dense hair from my mother's side--
Not dry or oily, rough or soft or silken.
She grasped as one would grasp a tiny mouse,
With fingers comfortingly curled to make
A safe and warm enticing home, a lure:
Her hands were often cold, you see, and she
Became the one to seek heat from a source
Whose lifeblood was not electricity.
But Samson was not strong at all, he fell
And bowed with face hung to a woman loved.
His shorn locks fell, and all his oaths and strength
Dissolved and left him powerless in shame.
My love, did I betray the secret of your heart?
That all the promises and loving strength
Nurtured by the works of Passion's hands
Were killed maliciously by wetted steel?
When basic treatment finished were you shocked
To find that I was not the man you knew to love?
The faults of Eve and Samson both combined
So that a girl was now a woman new;
But Adam did not sin, and to his shock,
His paradise was still forever lost.
A beautiful submission with well-done Biblical references, your piece combines the best of all the others. The flow of it is so perfect, it's better without rhyming - blank verse was a good choice. The emotion you're able to get across is fantastic, and overall this is a well-rounded submission that you got another merit with.
New theme: Wave(s)
Deadline: 13 days from now.
The four of us here again, for yet another challenging battle. Parsat was up and at it again, and even though I'm not sure to deserve the privilege of placing first over wolf and zoark, I'm glad about the results of that round...Now, it's time another epic skirmish bursts here in the poetry thread; good luck to all!
Or maybe that Quebecian should say: Bonne chance!
I don't know, should I write a serious poem this round? I'm having trouble coming up with anything for this theme...
Decaying Shore:
Immeasurable force
Inescapable power
Untold destruction
Pounding rocks
Consuming cliffs
Immense, unstoppable
Constant
Rushing
Hypnotic
Waves
Meh, that's my entry - I don't really 'do' long poems.
Destined to forever be in second with the likes of these guys.
*points ruefully at Parsat, Fallen and Wolf*
Oh well. It gives me something to aim for...
I don't know, should I write a serious poem this round?
I like your poems Ernie. They always give me a chuckle. It's really up to how you feel at the time.
Congratulations to the four-way, guys!
Well, that last contest vote took the wind out of my sails. I will tackle this new theme as soon as the bruises of my wounded pride heal.
Dang. Once again, didn't even place. My poetic ship is sinking fast, and I can't bail enough. D:
I should contemplate entering this round.
Waves, huh? Wow...uhmm...all I can say is, you like to pick eclectic topics. I'll give it a shot, but no promises.
The waves of the ocean
Crash against rocky shores
Just like a nagging notion
They keep knocking at your door
There are different waves
They're electromagnetic
Similar, but not enclave
Some laze*, some are frenetic
Radio waves are very weak**
But very strong as well
Their wavelengths, long and meek
But they also guide your cell
Microwaves*** heat your food
But on the scale, they're low
Without them, we are screwed
But their energy? So-so
Infrared is cool
It lets you see things that are hot
It can be used as a tool
But it's still fun if you're not
Here is visible light
The stuff that you can see
It's dear to my heart
Because without it there's no sight
It's just a tiny part****
But it's vital to you and me
So I'm giving it extra space
On my poem here
Because it should get a place
Since we all hold it so dear
Ultraviolet ain't so cool
It gives your skin sun burns
Use sunscreen, don't be a fool!
Oh well, I guess you'll learn
And here are awesome x-rays
They see through all your skin
Uhmm...why aren't they called waves?
I guess it's cuz they win xP
Finally, there's gamma rays
Radioactive stuff
With that, you shouldn't play
Eh, they don't sound so tough
=(]
And now, my poem's through and done
Is that a relieved face? >=(
I know my rhythm tends to run
But I hope that I can place
*Laze, here, is being used as a verb.
**By weak, I mean "low in energy".
***There are microwaves, but I mean the wave type of microwave, the stuff that is in the big microwaves. Okay, now I'm confusing myself. Time to stop. You know what I mean, don't be a smart aleck.
****...of the electromagnetic spectrum.
Also: I placed italics in the poem to signify that you're speaking. I thought it would add...flavor, for lack of a better word.
I'm not sure if I wanna enter this round. I think I'd rather write a fruity rock song about this girl with really curly hair and lots of emotional problems instead.
Who knows. I have a lot of time.
Thread is locked!