Okay, here's the script for MWT: Strop-vs-Sasquatch & Co. I have taken the liberty of implying that Sasquatch & Co. have a history in AG already, in particular making references to Sasquatch's past appearances in the forums. If this is improper I can rewrite, it's not too much trouble, but there's more lulz this way.
So I'll go to it!
-Oh Sun..- The boy looks up at the sky where clouds fills the blue sky until there is nothing left. The sound of explosions are heard, and the great city crumples into ruins. -And so it ended..-
As all the contestants left once again stand before the Tower, the speakers hum a little. Good, children, you have lived through the tests and the hate of your opponent. But there is still a long way up to the top. I will be waiting for the strongest of you.. The screen flicker a little, then the new pairs a written there.
The hum increases once again, then ends.
Strop: Hate of my opponent? How presumptuous.
Strop is fiddling with his quiver straps and thinking about something (like why the town was just razed to the ground) when he is interrupted by a thunderous "WTF!?" It's Sasquatch in all his fresco glory, with Yeti curiously peeking out from behind one of his legs. Strop just turns and blinks at Sasquatch.
Sasquatch: WTF IT'S STROP!?
Yeti: Yeah, who'd have thought we'd run into a moderator here!
Strop: Oh, I know you guys. Are you my next opponent?
Sasquatch:
(bursting into a fit) I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR LAUGHING AT ME IN THE ARTS AND CRAFTS FAIR!
Strop: What?
Yeti:
(Clinging to Sasquatch) Calm down you big dummy!
(To Strop) Sorry about big brother, he hasâ¦an anger management problem.
Strop: Oh, don't worry...that's precisely what makes him so funn- err, I mean, uh. Oh dear.
Sasquatch: RRRRAAARRRRRRRRR!!! PREPARE TO DIE!
Sasquatch charges at Strop with alarming speed, and brings out a...yellow banhammer!? Strop does a doubletake.
Strop: No way.
Sasquatch smashes Strop over the head with the hammer. Alas, the hammer shatters, seeing as it was fake and all. Sasquatch looks...well, "WTF!?"
Strop: If you want to kill me, we have to start the proper way.
Sasquatch: What's that?
Strop:
(Brandishing a pair of oversized clippers) WITH A $2000 HAIRCUT!!! xD
Yeti:
(Facepalm) Oh no he din't!
Sasquatch is momentarily blinded by rage. He thrashes about making craters in the ground with his fist, but Strop dodges around and behind him. I don't really need to detail what Sasquatch is yelling at this point because I'm sure you get the idea.
Strop: I'm over here you big lunk!
Strop should probably have kept his mouth shut because it promptly receives a giant fist with the force of a speeding comet. Strop plows through several ruined buildings before coming to a rest in a pile of rubble. Yeti is standing over him.
Yeti: You're in for it now. Big brother is very sensitive about his hair.
With that, Yeti summons a lightning bolt and scorches the spot Strop was occupying just a moment before. Strop runs away (because he really hates being electrocuted) and almost walks straight into Sasquatch's flaming fist again. Strop then spends the next few seconds dodging Sasquatch's fists (because he also really hates being burnt). In the end, between Yeti's elemental abilities and Sasquatch's firepower, he has his hands so full that he gets set on fire by Sasquatch, then put out by Yeti only to be subsequently zapped by a lightning bolt. However this is not perfect and Yeti nearly hits Sasquatch.
Sasquatch: WTF WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!!
Strop positions himself such that Sasquatch is between Yeti and him and therefore Yeti cannot directly attack him, and throws a boulder at Sasquatch. Sasquatch blows it apart with one hit, and Strop uses the opening to land a solid kick on him. Sasquatch is only angered further.
Sasquatch: RAAARRRRR WTF!?
Strop: That's not good.
Sasquatch grabs Strop and throws him into the air. Strop summons his bow and fires a grappling hook into the tower, and swings around it. Eventually he swings all the way around and runs smack into a very large, grassy wall which wasn't there before. Strop looks up and finds a very large earth elemental creature. Overgrowth.
Yeti: You idiot, you'll kill us all!
Sasquatch: HAHAHAHAHA NOW CRUSH HIM TO DUST OVERGROWTH!
Overgrowth then proceeds to try to grab Strop, missing and leaving massive craters in the ground, setting off earthquakes as he does so. The ground starts breaking apart and showing big cracks.
Yeti: Quickly, use landslide or we'll all die!
Overgrowth sucks up the rubble and grinds it into dust, blowing walls of sand at Strop. Yeti uses her water powers to turn it into walls of mud that threaten to entomb Strop. Strop grabs the rope from the grappling hook and swings back around the tower, hiding in the lee of the current of the mudslide, then up and flies at overgrowth.
Strop:
(to himself) Overgrowth is a summons so this is still kosher!
Strop summons his bow and fires incendiary arrows at Overgrowth, but overgrowth is too big to even feel it let alone burn up, and merely grabs him. Strop grabs an emergency kunai but alas, he used all his explosive tags escaping from Orlestat!
Sasquatch:
(Charging up his flaming fists) Leave him to me!
Strop fires several arrows at Sasquatch's feet, which forces him to dodge backwards and he gets hit in the face with a paintball arrow.
Sasquatch:
(Pawing at his face) WTF MY EYES!
Momentarily distracted, Sasquatch loses control of Overgrowth, who releases Strop. Strop uses a luminescent arrow and fires an incendiary arrow at it, causing it to explode with a great flash. Yeti is temporarily blinded.
Yeti: Where did he go!?
Strop appears behind Yeti suddenly, wielding his banhammer.
Strop: Sorry. You'll be fine by tomorrow.
Strop conks Yeti on the head and she drops unconscious. Sasquatch has recovered his vision just enough to witness this. He is rather upset.
Sasquatch: WTF I'LL TAKE REVENGE!
Strop starts running and takes a flying leap.
Sasquatch: EAT THIS. MEGA FLAMING BELL-PEPPER ATTACK!
Sasquatch hurls a giant flaming bell pepper at Strop. Suddenly Strop appears to dodge- in reality he has grabbed the rope from the grappling hook and hoisted himself out of the way. The bell pepper flies directly into Overgrowth's chest and Overgrowth bursts into flames, flailing as he falls.
Sasquatch: WTF NOOOOOOOOOOOO!?
As Overgrowth shrivels up and scatters as ashes, Strop lands and Sasquatch walks towards Strop, an overpowering tower of rage. He takes out a remote control device with a single, fateful button on it. It's the "EAZY BUTTON" remote.
Sasquatch: Sis made me promise not to use this. BUT SHE WON'T KNOW NOW, RAHHHHAHAHA!
Sasquatch jams the button with his finger. Nothing happens for a moment. He then looks down and sees a small capsule that makes an ominous ticking noise. Strop points at the remote.
Strop: Oh yeah, I fixed it.
Sasquatch looks down at the remote. The letters SL are scrawled in front of the EAZY to make it the SLEAZY button. Then the timebomb explodes, covering Sasquatch with a familiar purple smoke. When the smoke clears, Sasquatch is wearing leather bondage gear with metal studs and spikes. If his WTF expression was big before, now it is utterly ridiculous. Strop then peels off his ninja suit to reveal the much rumoured satin negligee (yes, that negligee), and slinks towards Sasquatch.
Sasquatch: THIS IS, LIKE, TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE OMGWTF!?
As Strop approaches Sasquatch, Sasquatch finds himself paralysed, then he starts flailing and twitching. Then his eyes roll back and he foams at the mouth, and he falls backwards in a dead faint. Strop eyes him a moment, then breathes a sigh of relief.
Strop: I'm glad that worked. It could have gotten really awkward.
Strop then starts walking off, eventually disappearing through the smoke from the remains of Overgrowth and picking up his ninja suit along the way, muttering.
Strop: Geez, how many overpowered characters do I have to go through to serve a little justice around here?
---
Yeah. The pink negligee had to come out
eventually.
