An Introduction

He hadn't written anything in nearly a year. No. That wasn't entirely true. He had written something. Many somethings. Many somethings tantamount to nothing. They were no more than writing exercises. He would start with an idea, a wonderful idea, a brilliant beginning and it would go nowhere after a day. His flirtatious romance with inspiration was just that. His obsession with her kept him in withdrawal when she left and his sense of direction deteriorated. In his languor, he wondered why he kept to such deleterious circumstances. And then, she returned.

*blinks at ryan* Wasn't it his inspiration that returns? Of course, that could be a girl...

I've missed your writings, Gantic.

If you could guess the intent of this thread, then you would best not continue reading, because it is neither rewarding nor dissatisfying less you lead your heart and mind astray. Though I'd like to infuse some life to writings and pull them out of inanity, for the lack a more apt word, I won't. The Stranger needs something to read while everyone's away. And I'm quite surprised that ROaTNO has over 1000 views when it only had 983 when I checked a week ago with the intent of posting. The old stuff continues getting views. From where did those extra 110 views come since the last post? Google?

But people are too hung up on longer works, when with their twists, should focus first on flash fiction. Minimalism at its finest, but I choose to inflate. Some of it doesn't count as flash fiction, just a joke or nothing at all, like this next one:

Cranberry and Coffee
There is a tall porcelain cup filled to the brim with coffee in your hands. It's handle is long, curving gently down the side like a sputtering spout of porcelain. The steam and aroma are overwhelming, but what about the cranberries? They're sour, yogurt sour, and red, cerise even. Then how is it you are thinking about blueberries and raspberries? Three blueberries, deep purply blue, four raspberries, bright red like maraschinos. Oh wait, there are two maraschinos, too. All around a triangular puff pastry lightly dusted with powdered sugar sitting on a porcelain plate. Two blueberries and a raspberry sit against the upper right edge, a raspberry and blue berry push against the longer left edge, and the other two raspberries are just lying about on the third edge. The maraschinos are sitting on top. The plate rests on a brown-orange carpet with short shag in between a simple brick fireplace and a four seat table set. Careful!

I understood the first half of the paragraph, mind saying the rest without the riddles?

That's the point isn't it? It's not irony, but it's something. I find it amusing though, since I enjoy the meta of self-references. (Circular references? I'm not sure.) Though that's not entirely what it is, nor close. It's only on page 4 if you're wondering.

The thing about nanofiction I like is that it will require more words to summarize the story than to write it. Funny how that works. Take this first entry as I consider my answer to "What is a noob?"

noob homicide: Former debate champion convicted.

Of course it can't compare to Hemingway's "For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn." Should there be a nanofic writing contest? Much easier than anything else.

This next one is unrelated to the previous entry.

The Biggest n00b

Disclaimer: All characters in the above are completely fictional. Any resemblance to real persons are intentional and approved by all persons associated.