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1. Meeting
Astronaut: Houston, we have a problem.
Houston: Roger that. Did the reactor explode?
Astronaut: Negative. We are attacked by an unidentified space object! And we are halfway destroye...
Houston: "Destroye" is not a word!
Astronaut: L-losing transmission!...
Houston; Shuttle destroyed, end transmission
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Today, 10 december, 2025, the president that was re-chosen about 3 times, Barrack Obama speaks to the population of America about the Destroyed Shuttle.
Stupid President: Population of the Free Country! I ensure you that what happened yesterday was nothing to worry about! The shuttle probably crushed into a satellite or meteor, you have no reasons to panic about an alien invasion!
Even more stupid reporter: There was no problem with he satellites. When they were counted yesterday, the number was the same as usual.
Stupid President: Sorry, I can't speak any more on this subject, it is confidential.
Even more stupid reporter: So there is an alien invasion!
Stupid President: Now, please don't panic!
Panicked citizen: We'll all die! They're already here! They'll eat our brains! Run! Run! Run for your lives!!!!!!!!!!!
Stupid President: Ow boy.
- 14 Replies
OK...
Did you just call Obama stupid...you might be in a little trouble for that....
Interesting...i'm scared...
So everyone is stupid in your world? There are brain-eating aliens invading? Well I know how how this is probably going to end...
Either way, I don't get it o_O *walks away from thread most likely to never return*
This feels like a story made up by a Radical Republican about the idiotic presidential choice and liberal media,and etc. although I'm sure there is another reason why you called Obama besides being a Republican right?I will wait to see if this gets any interesting though.
Inspector a: Great! This is the 1000th kidnapping this week. i wonder where they put all those people!
Inspector b: Well, some think the shuttle destroyed a month ago was wiped out by alien forces.
Inspector a: Nonsense, aliens do not exist!
Inspector b: But how do you then explain that so many people disappear without leaving any fingerprints, mess or signs of fight behind?
Inspector a: Hey im sure there is an explanation. Maybe, the US government developed teleportation! Anyways, i will never believe in aliens, as long as i live!
In that moment, a green column of light appeared in the sky. Its light covered the entire city. After a moment or so, the light concentrated on Inspector b, making him suddenly disappear.
Inspector a: Ok, now I believe! Aliens do exist. Everyone, run for your lives!!!!!
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Inspector a: Sir im serious! the people had been kidnapped by aliens! So did Inspector b!
Inspector chief: stop with this nonsense! Don't try to fool me, there is not such thing as aliens! Now, where is Inspector b?
Inspector a: I don't know that, maybe on their mother ship?
Inspector chef: You are fired!
The windows lightened as the green column reappeared. A second after that, nothing stood in the space Inspector chef was.
Inspector a: Holy cow! At least im not fired!
Pretty good and funny, I'll check this thread again over a week when there are more chapters.
We are at the White House, where president Barrack Obama stays. suddenly, He hears a strong, echoed voice. He is kinda frightened.
Voice: President of the biggest country, we come in peace.
Stupid president: Peace? How comes that? You made 1000000 people disappear!
Voice: In fact, it was 1% of the world population that we took, and that is 69420821.
Stupid president: A, that's better. Now what do you want from me?
Voice: We will reveal ourselves to save your world. But that, in time. You are not yet prepared to make CONTACT. But when we do, you will be the chosen one to announce the humanity of our reveal, and then do what I say. Understood?
Stupid president: Ah, no. What are we talking about?
And then, as mysteriously it came, the voice stopped.
Stupid president: You know what? I shouldn't drink coffee before going to sleep.
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We are at Inspector a's house. It is rather untidy and smells strange, but that's not important. Important is that a voice started talking from nohow.
Voice: Inspector a...
Inspector a: ...you came in peace. and now you want me, when you would think the world is ready for you to announce it of your presence.
Voice: Yes' that's true.
Inspector a: I have just one question.
Voice: Speak.
Inspector a: Why didn't you, for crying out loud, simply went to the president Obama to throw the weight of humanity on his shoulders, not on mine?
Voice: We did, but he's a moron.
Inspector a: A, that makes sense! Ok then, goodbye.
Voice: Bye!
Radical Republican about the idiotic presidential choice and liberal media,and etc.
:]
BTW, i think i am in love with this story.
Either way, I don't get it o_O *walks away from thread most likely to never return*
That's a bit critical doncha think?
That's a bit critical doncha think?
LOL. Only to you Ricador, only to you. I just don't like biased things because there's always flaming and kicking and possibly screaming if they type it right.
Radical Republican about the idiotic presidential choice and liberal media,and etc.
Radical Republicans o_O...That's...a switchy switch there...
Inspector a: Ok, now I believe! Aliens do exist. Everyone, run for your lives!!!!!
That would be me right there in this situation lol, although I'd probably jump on a small poney and ride off into the sunset singing about bananas(and peaches!).
In the weeks that followed the kidnappings, ships were landing all over the planet, one on every capital city (excepting Vatican city, too small) . All presidents (excepting Obama, substituted by Inspector a) made CONTACT, and then aliens told them what new laws to make, sentences to change etc. The strange thing was that the aliens never shown their faces, remaining inside their ships. Inspector a was very curious about this, so he created a plan for his next meeting. When aliens speak, they are behind a thick glass, in a no-light room
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Alien hiding: Welcome to this meeting. I will debate a very important thing today.
Inspector a: I'm listening.
Alien hiding: Ok, just listen carefully. I saw that the most conflicts on earth are caused by money.
Inspector a: Man, or whatever you are, I totally agree with you.
Alien hiding: We got a solution for this problem: making money unreachable.
Inspector a: And how would you do that?
Alien hiding: From now on, all payments are done by credit card, and we will keep your money on our ships!
Inspector a: Hey hey how would i know you don't take our money for yourselves?
Alien hiding: What could WE do with you money?
Inspector a: Don't know, eat them probably.
Alien hiding: This meeting is over. Have a nice day.
Inspector a: OK, bye dude!
But the meeting was not over for Inspector a, until he made an infrared picture of the alien's room.
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At home, Inspector a was very happy. Finally, he will find out the true look of those aliens. What are they like? He thought of giant insects. So, he put the picture on the computer, reduced the contrast to 10%, increased the lightening by 200% and used clarify 3 times. What he say made him scream: a human figure.
Inspector a: Holy cow, they look just like us! No doubt they want our money! They are thiefs from the future that timetraveled in the past to steal money! I gotta tell this to Obam...no, hes a moron...i gotta tell this to all the presidents on Earth. But first, i'm hungry.
What he say made him scream: a human figure.
Im very sorry for this mistake, let me correct it.
What he saw made him scream: a human figure
PS: mods, an edit button would be helpful over here!
Inspector a is at Obama's office. Hes a moron, yes, but he can speak to the other presidents officially. He is ready to tell him the secret of the so-called "aliens".
Inspector a: I just took a picture of an alien!
Stupid president: What? The aliens are here.
Inspector a: Well, that's kinda old story. The idea is that they are not actual aliens, but people from the future that want to rob us! And you must tell this to the other presidents!
Stupid president: Ok, ok, relax.
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After everyone knew the secret of the aliens, a riot begun. Every country started nuking their spaceship. Finally, to stop the aggression, a voice said on every spaceship:
Multiple voice: We know the reason why you're mad about us, and we will reveal ourselves for you to believe us.
Riot member: Just shut the fuck up! We now who are you, fucking bastards! Assholes! On my mark, nuke'em!
But of course, nukes do nothing against the alien multi-carbon density 30000 metal plating. and finally, in 5 days in which every state on Earth exhausted its reserve of nukes, the gates of the ships opened. The entire humanity saw aliens approaching, and said WOW! Aliens looked just like devils.
Inspector a: Hey wait a minute i thought you are humans!
devil-like alien: You made a picture of us, right?
Inspector a: yes...
devil like alien: Well, the windows we use are une-sided mirrors.
Inspector a: Crap.
Presidential chorus: What? We lost all our nukes because of you, Inspector a???? Death sentence, death sentence!
Inspector a: Crap again.
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