Tri-Daily Story Contest - Armor Games Community

89	14986

offline

1,077 posts

Nomad

Posted May 17, '09 9:00pm UTC

Oh fudge, I forgot judging was today! I will only put negative aspects of the story, nichodemus is doing positive aspects.

Pois0nArr0w
---
I was awake, but I thought I had walked into a dream. I was lying on the ground, covered with dirt and sweat. I tried to stand up, but my legs weren't strong enough to hold me. I fell back with a startled grunt, my chest heaving, my lungs feeding greedily on the stale oxygen in the room.
I rested there for a while, on the ground, collecting my breath, when I noticed the sign above the door. It read E.R. So I was in a hospital, but why, I did not know. It was then that I noticed the syringe attatched to my arm, and the red fluid inside. I pulled out the needle, and my arm went numb with pain. It fell to the floor, sending a wave of agony up the appendage and through to my spine.
My second attempt at getting up was more successful.
I staggered over to the door and stumbled with the doorknob, cursing my lame arm. I finaly opened the door and got over to the attendants desk, but the attendant wasn't there. I checked all the other rooms in the hospital, but they were all vacant. I gave a sigh of discontent, wondering where everyone could have gone.
I walked over to the main entrance, and nearly fell over again with surprise. All that lay before me was a wasteland. Cars overturned, whole buildings colapsed, destruction as far as the eye could see. I walked along the empty streets, my gaze falling over all of the deserted homes, the destroyed buildings, all the while wondering how this could have happened.
After the first month of traveling, I came to the conclusion that I might be the only one left. I knew I was alone in the world, the last of my kind. I fell down on my knees, the weight of the sadness that had welled up inside of me too much to bear any longer. I had decided to end this miserable existance once and for all. I carved on makeshift gallows a poem, my final words before I departed from this world.

Here I hang, overcome,
By sadness grief and sorrow.
And here I'll hang, 'til Kingdom Come,
Wishing for a better 'morrow.

~Sp39 - Doesn't explain what happened, is the building he is in collapsed? If not where is there dirt inside?

Pixie214
---
This is the end of the world as I know it.... I don't feel fine. You always see in the movies that the scientists and the governments find the meteorites and just send up some cowboys or nukes and we're all ok. ok I won't feel that for a while. No one saw it till it hit the atmoshere and started to heat up; no one was looking. The worst thing was the placement: off shore in a shallow sea that had toxic mineral deposits beneath. Anyone who didn't die in the impact choked slowly on the fumes.The whole world consumed in clouds of dust, blackening the sky. The land aflame and the seas boiled dry.

But I'm here... I'm lucky... if you can call it that. I was chosen from 17 applicants to go on a one-man space probe. I remember talking to the senior astronauts and they said that how beautiful it was to look at the Earth how magnificent it was. But now it is my torture watching it burn seeing civilisation torn apart. True it does have strange beauty about it the swirling oranges and reds of the flames like a child playing in the leaves at fall seem so gentle and playful from this distance I can only imagine what it is like to be down there.

It may sound selfish but the main wory I have is myself. This probe is basic and needs a team at BNSC to get it safeky to home... to get ne safely to home. So that it is I'm stuck I can't get out of this orbit and even if I could there is nothing there on earth to go to. I have options wait for the oxygen to run out or open a hatch and.... well speed up my demise. The world is over I don't feel fine at all.

~Sp39 - A few spelling/punctuation mistakes.

Cenere
---
You look out the window, staring at the white flakes of... Something unknown to you. It is frightening, is it not? Looking at it as it cover the ground, faster than snow would do. It does not disappear.

The days following it, the light disappeared fully. It made it harder to breathe, the white flakes. There could not come much air in. After a day or two, you hear the creaking of the house. It gave up. You know you are trapped, you cannot come up now. The door is too heavy.

You shared the light so it would not take all the air, but now, now you wish you would be able to see light again. You have been able to hear a few lines from the radio. Catastrophe, it said. Most of earth covered. And by then you knew you were lost.
Now you are just waiting to die.
And when it come, you will still struggle, because... You do not want to die.

~Sp39 - What was the cause of this unfortunate event? What was the unfortunate event?

Cenere
---
He could never have stopped in time, he was told. He could not have done anything to avoid it. It was not his fault.
But he knew it was his fault.
If he hadn't been driving so fast... It was below the speeding limit, but...But he shouldn't have been driving so fast.
He should have been cautious.
But still he hit her.
She was not killed. It might have been better if he had killed her in the accident, but instead he just damaged her.
Now she was sitting in the wheel chair, looking emptily out the window. He wondered if she would ever recover. The doctors said it might be a possibility; that she might be able to think again.
He shook his head as his own mental formulation. But he knew it was how it was. Her brain was damaged, and sending wrong signals, making her face twitch over and over again. And that empty gaze... She looked like she wasn't even seeing anything...

He knew that that accident had altered his world. And that that accident had ruined her's.

~Sp39 - Off topic

Okay, the story I select is...

...
...
...
...

I was awake, but I thought I had walked into a dream. I was lying on the ground, covered with dirt and sweat. I tried to stand up, but my legs weren't strong enough to hold me. I fell back with a startled grunt, my chest heaving, my lungs feeding greedily on the stale oxygen in the room.
I rested there for a while, on the ground, collecting my breath, when I noticed the sign above the door. It read E.R. So I was in a hospital, but why, I did not know. It was then that I noticed the syringe attatched to my arm, and the red fluid inside. I pulled out the needle, and my arm went numb with pain. It fell to the floor, sending a wave of agony up the appendage and through to my spine.
My second attempt at getting up was more successful.
I staggered over to the door and stumbled with the doorknob, cursing my lame arm. I finaly opened the door and got over to the attendants desk, but the attendant wasn't there. I checked all the other rooms in the hospital, but they were all vacant. I gave a sigh of discontent, wondering where everyone could have gone.
I walked over to the main entrance, and nearly fell over again with surprise. All that lay before me was a wasteland. Cars overturned, whole buildings colapsed, destruction as far as the eye could see. I walked along the empty streets, my gaze falling over all of the deserted homes, the destroyed buildings, all the while wondering how this could have happened.
After the first month of traveling, I came to the conclusion that I might be the only one left. I knew I was alone in the world, the last of my kind. I fell down on my knees, the weight of the sadness that had welled up inside of me too much to bear any longer. I had decided to end this miserable existance once and for all. I carved on makeshift gallows a poem, my final words before I departed from this world.

Here I hang, overcome,
By sadness grief and sorrow.
And here I'll hang, 'til Kingdom Come,
Wishing for a better 'morrow.

By: Pois0nArr0w

It's not over yet, nicho still needs to judge his half...

Oh fudge, I forgot judging was today! I will only put [b]negative[/b] aspects of the story, nichodemus is doing positive aspects.\r\n\r\nPois0nArr0w\r\n---\r\nI was awake, but I thought I had walked into a dream. I was lying on the ground, covered with dirt and sweat. I tried to stand up, but my legs weren't strong enough to hold me. I fell back with a startled grunt, my chest heaving, my lungs feeding greedily on the stale oxygen in the room.\r\n   I rested there for a while, on the ground, collecting my breath, when I noticed the sign above the door. It read E.R. So I was in a hospital, but why, I did not know. It was then that I noticed the syringe attatched to my arm, and the red fluid inside. I pulled out the needle, and my arm went numb with pain. It fell to the floor, sending a wave of agony up the appendage and through to my spine.\r\n   My second attempt at getting up was more successful.\r\nI staggered over to the door and stumbled with the doorknob, cursing my lame arm. I finaly opened the door and got over to the attendants desk, but the attendant wasn't there. I checked all the other rooms in the hospital, but they were all vacant. I gave a sigh of discontent, wondering where everyone could have gone.\r\n   I walked over to the main entrance, and nearly fell over again with surprise. All that lay before me was a wasteland. Cars overturned, whole buildings colapsed, destruction as far as the eye could see. I walked along the empty streets, my gaze falling over all of the deserted homes, the destroyed buildings, all the while wondering how this could have happened.\r\n   After the first month of traveling, I came to the conclusion that I might be the only one left. I knew I was alone in the world, the last of my kind. I fell down on my knees, the weight of the sadness that had welled up inside of me too much to bear any longer. I had decided to end this miserable existance once and for all. I carved on makeshift gallows a poem, my final words before I departed from this world.   \r\n\r\n                   Here I hang, overcome,\r\n                      By sadness grief and sorrow.\r\n                      And here I'll hang, 'til Kingdom Come,\r\n                      Wishing for a better 'morrow.\r\n\r\n~Sp39 - Doesn't explain what happened, is the building he is in collapsed? If not where is there dirt inside?\r\n\r\nPixie214\r\n---\r\nThis is the end of the world as I know it.... I don't feel fine. You always see in the movies that the scientists and the governments find the meteorites and just send up some cowboys or nukes and we're all ok.  ok I won't feel that for a while. No one saw it till it hit the atmoshere and started to heat up; no one was looking. The worst thing was the placement: off shore in a shallow sea that had toxic mineral deposits beneath. Anyone who didn't die in the impact choked slowly on the fumes.The whole world consumed in clouds of dust, blackening the sky. The land aflame and the seas boiled dry.\r\n\r\nBut I'm here... I'm lucky... if you can call it that. I was chosen from 17 applicants to go on a one-man space probe. I remember talking to the senior astronauts and they said that how beautiful it was to look at the Earth how magnificent it was. But now it is my torture watching it burn seeing civilisation torn apart. True it does have strange beauty about it the swirling oranges and reds of the flames like a child playing in the leaves at fall seem so gentle and playful from this distance I can only imagine what it is like to be down there.\r\n\r\nIt may sound selfish but the main wory I have is myself. This probe is basic and needs a team at BNSC to get it safeky to home... to get ne safely to home. So that it is I'm stuck I can't get out of this orbit and even if I could there is nothing there on earth to go to. I have options wait for the oxygen to run out or open a hatch and.... well speed up my demise. The world is over I don't feel fine at all.\r\n\r\n~Sp39 - A few spelling/punctuation mistakes.\r\n\r\nCenere\r\n---\r\nYou look out the window, staring at the white flakes of... Something unknown to you. It is frightening, is it not? Looking at it as it cover the ground, faster than snow would do. It does not disappear.\r\n\r\nThe days following it, the light disappeared fully. It made it harder to breathe, the white flakes. There could not come much air in. After a day or two, you hear the creaking of the house. It gave up. You know you are trapped, you cannot come up now. The door is too heavy.\r\n\r\nYou shared the light so it would not take all the air, but now, now you wish you would be able to see light again. You have been able to hear a few lines from the radio. Catastrophe, it said. Most of earth covered. And by then you knew you were lost.\r\nNow you are just waiting to die.\r\nAnd when it come, you will still struggle, because... You do not want to die.\r\n\r\n~Sp39 - What was the cause of this unfortunate event? What was the unfortunate event?\r\n\r\nCenere\r\n---\r\nHe could never have stopped in time, he was told. He could not have done anything to avoid it. It was not his fault.\r\nBut he knew it was his fault.\r\nIf he hadn't been driving so fast... It was below the speeding limit, but...But he shouldn't have been driving so fast.\r\nHe should have been cautious.\r\nBut still he hit her.\r\nShe was not killed. It might have been better if he had killed her in the accident, but instead he just damaged her.\r\nNow she was sitting in the wheel chair, looking emptily out the window. He wondered if she would ever recover. The doctors said it might be a possibility; that she might be able to think again.\r\nHe shook his head as his own mental formulation. But he knew it was how it was. Her brain was damaged, and sending wrong signals, making her face twitch over and over again. And that empty gaze... She looked like she wasn't even seeing anything...\r\n\r\nHe knew that that accident had altered his world. And that that accident had ruined her's.\r\n\r\n~Sp39 - Off topic\r\n\r\nOkay, the story I select is...\r\n\r\n...\r\n...\r\n...\r\n...\r\n\r\n[quote]I was awake, but I thought I had walked into a dream. I was lying on the ground, covered with dirt and sweat. I tried to stand up, but my legs weren't strong enough to hold me. I fell back with a startled grunt, my chest heaving, my lungs feeding greedily on the stale oxygen in the room.\r\n   I rested there for a while, on the ground, collecting my breath, when I noticed the sign above the door. It read E.R. So I was in a hospital, but why, I did not know. It was then that I noticed the syringe attatched to my arm, and the red fluid inside. I pulled out the needle, and my arm went numb with pain. It fell to the floor, sending a wave of agony up the appendage and through to my spine.\r\n   My second attempt at getting up was more successful.\r\nI staggered over to the door and stumbled with the doorknob, cursing my lame arm. I finaly opened the door and got over to the attendants desk, but the attendant wasn't there. I checked all the other rooms in the hospital, but they were all vacant. I gave a sigh of discontent, wondering where everyone could have gone.\r\n   I walked over to the main entrance, and nearly fell over again with surprise. All that lay before me was a wasteland. Cars overturned, whole buildings colapsed, destruction as far as the eye could see. I walked along the empty streets, my gaze falling over all of the deserted homes, the destroyed buildings, all the while wondering how this could have happened.\r\n   After the first month of traveling, I came to the conclusion that I might be the only one left. I knew I was alone in the world, the last of my kind. I fell down on my knees, the weight of the sadness that had welled up inside of me too much to bear any longer. I had decided to end this miserable existance once and for all. I carved on makeshift gallows a poem, my final words before I departed from this world.   \r\n\r\n                   [i]Here I hang, overcome,\r\n                      By sadness grief and sorrow.\r\n                      And here I'll hang, 'til Kingdom Come,\r\n                      Wishing for a better 'morrow.[/i]\r\n[/quote]\r\n\r\nBy: Pois0nArr0w\r\n\r\nIt's not over yet, nicho still needs to judge his half...

offline

JereN

189 posts

Peasant

Posted May 17, '09 9:03pm UTC

Finland 2006 was and has been the best ever participant in eurovision...we almost got even better this year,,,but then majority wanted that s*i*!! so that is life...melt your brains and jump along...

offline

Cenere

13,658 posts

Jester

Posted May 17, '09 9:07pm UTC

Off topic

How can a story about a destroyed world be offtopic - -
It was just a more personal world, the theme was not specified, was it?

And for the other: Vulcanic activity. I thought you would have noticed it with the ashes falling from the sky, being so heavy that the house collapsed and all.

JereN: For the Eurovision thread in the Tavern! Awaaaayyyy!

offline

JereN

189 posts

Peasant

Posted May 17, '09 9:18pm UTC

yeah yeah...sorry about that :P just found it few minutes ago...but tooooo laaatee :P

so on topic....really nice stories :P nice work poison

offline

Pixie214

5,838 posts

Peasant

Posted May 17, '09 9:20pm UTC

A few spelling/punctuation mistakes.

Whoops I knew my keyboard hated me it makes stuff up to make me look bad "maybe your typing things in wrong" shut up... I'm perfect. Anyway so Nicho will so nice things? (hopefully)

offline

Pois0nArr0w

2,053 posts

Nomad

Posted May 17, '09 10:11pm UTC

~Sp39 - Doesn't explain what happened, is the building he is in collapsed? If not where is there dirt inside?

No the building isn't collapsed, and the dirt is there because I wanted there to be dirt. The dirt is just part of the story.

:P nice work poison

Thanks, JereN.

offline

Pois0nArr0w

2,053 posts

Nomad

Posted May 18, '09 1:37am UTC

@DarKArgeN: If you don't want those wierd symbols to appesr, try cpying and pasting from the note pad, or typing the story in the post window.

offline

Shadowphoenix39

1,077 posts

Nomad

Posted May 18, '09 1:45am UTC

Well, I hope he does, that's what I assigned him to do... Hopefully he will be on tommorow. Sorry DarK, judging was today, but, that was a great story, for some reason, insanity is an aspect I like in stories, for some reason. Kudos to you!

offline

sonam

840 posts

Nomad

Posted May 18, '09 1:46am UTC

lock this thread. it has been over the time it was limited

offline

Pois0nArr0w

2,053 posts

Nomad

Posted May 18, '09 1:55am UTC

lock this thread. it has been over the time it was limited

Time limit?

offline

Cenere

13,658 posts

Jester

Posted May 18, '09 2:02am UTC

lock this thread. it has been over the time it was limited

Okay, so if the ASC is not judged on the deadline day, it has to be locked as well?
Seriously, try to think once in a while. We are still waiting for the rest of the judging, and while there is an official contest now, Shadow might want to continue with a new theme.

Shadow: How can you justify that my second story was "Offtopic"?

offline

Shadowphoenix39

1,077 posts

Nomad

Posted May 18, '09 2:51am UTC

When I made the topic, I wanted it to be the end of the world for everyone, not just one or two people, sorry to throw you off. :P

offline

Cenere

13,658 posts

Jester

Posted May 18, '09 3:18pm UTC

When I made the topic, I wanted it to be the end of the world for everyone, not just one or two people, sorry to throw you off. :P

I would have been okay with you saying I did not portrait it well, or that the end (of the world) was very vague, or that I was supposed to blahblah and all that. But saying I was "off topic"... I found it rather rude to say the truth. I might not have constructed a short story with quite the right plot, but it was not like I was making a short story of something completely different. I was just "doing it wrong"...

It was my problem. Especially as your comments was just one or two words...

offline

nichodemus

14,989 posts

Grand Duke

Posted May 18, '09 3:21pm UTC

Sorry for the delay! Get to it tomorrow, k guys?

Got urgent business to attend to!

offline

Shadowphoenix39

1,077 posts

Nomad

Posted May 18, '09 9:21pm UTC

Thats fine, should I open up new topic now? Or wait until the winner for this one is crowned?

Categories

Quests

Community

Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Tri-Daily Story Contest