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My Most Hilarious Joke

Posted Aug 31, '09 at 8:11pm

Moabarmorgamer

Moabarmorgamer

2,251 posts

Rofl sane, your jokes are actually funny(unlike many others). Now...let's see if I can make you guys laugh.

The Three Guys: Lunch

Ok, so there were three construction workers building a skyscraper. It was lunchtime. One of them opened their lunchbox and said:
"Dangit! I got enchiladas again! I swear, if I get enchiladas for lunch again, I'm gonna jump off this building and kill myself!"
The second opened his lunchbox and said:
"Dangit! I got PBJ again! If I get PBJ for lunch one more time, I'm gonna jump off this building and kill myself!"
The third opened his lunchbox and said:
"Dangit! I got chicken for lunch again! If I get chicken one more time, I'll jump off this building and kill myself!"

The next day, all three of them got the exact same lunch. And they followed through with yesterday's threat and killed themselves. At the funeral, their wives were crying. The first man's wife said:
"If I had known he hated enchiladas so much I would've made him something else!"
The second guy's wife sobbed:
"If I knew he hated PBJ so much I would've given him something else for lunch!" and everybody turned to the third man's wife, who was standing there with a confused expression on her face.
"Don't look at me," she said. "He made his own lunch every day."

The Three Guys: Stranded

Once there were three guys going for a drive in a desert when their Jeep broke down. They went and found some shelter in a cave.
"I'm going to go find some water," said the first man, and he left the cave. A few hours later, he returned with water.
"I'm going to go find some food," said the second man, and he left the cave. A few hours later he returned with some food.
"I'm going to go get something," said the third guy mysteriously, and he left the cave. Three days later, he still had not returned and the other two guys assumed he was dead. But then he came back, carrying the door of their Jeep with him.
"What the heck did you bring the jeep door for?" demanded the first guy.
"Well," said the third guy, "I thought that if we got hot since it's a desert, we could roll the window down!"

This one is a story. It's fake, but I thought it was funny.

One day, I was sitting at my desk doing my schoolwork. The clock ticked loudly as the teacher droned on. I finally decided to try something to help the time pass. Myself and a jerk had a spitball war on the bus the day before. This morning, we had a rubber band war. Both times, unfortunately, he had won. Now, being the type to hold grudges, I decided that whatever I would do would help me get back at him. Luckily, his desk was only a few feet away from mine. I scavenged through my desk and pockets, looking for some kind of tool. All I found was an old tissue, covered in blood. I recoiled at the sight. The tissue couldn't have been too old, because the blood was still wet and sticky, probably from that morning when I had gotten a bloody nose from our brutal rubber band fight.

During gym class, I left, went back to the lockers, and wiped the blood all over his pants, then skipped out again. Unfortunately, I had got some blood on my hands. I wiped it off on my pants. And looking down, I saw I had wiped it right on my crotch. Now, I'm pretty sure you all know what it must've looked like. Either my crotch was bleeding or I'd had my period(Gah! I'm a boy!) or something.  And The Jerk had a spare pair of pants. Why do stories never end well?

But let me point out the very ending; a few months later, I gave the pants to my sister as a gift. The blood was still on them(blood is impossible to get off clothes) and they were turned inside out so she couldn't see. So she went to school in them and...
well...
you can guess.

Please tell me what ya think!

 

Posted Sep 1, '09 at 12:44pm

playaholic

playaholic

653 posts

one day,j.j. Abrams,the director of Star trek,got a memo from his secretary--------]
[------------------]

 

Posted Sep 1, '09 at 3:18pm

Somers

Somers

1,486 posts

My most hilarious joke????

Canadian Army

 

Posted Sep 1, '09 at 3:42pm

robotking98

robotking98

126 posts

Umm those aren't funny, I didn't laugh at a single one of those...

 

Posted Sep 2, '09 at 3:01am

playaholic

playaholic

653 posts

A,B,C and D asked each other what they want to be when they grow up,here is the dialogue

A:I want to be a lawyer so that i can do just for my countrymen!

B:I want to be a soilder so that i can protect my fellow countrymen!

C:I want to be a doctor,so that i can treat illnesses for my follow countrymen

D:I wanted to be the governor so that i can cherish my countrymen,but after thinking about it, I want to be.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. A COUNTRYMAN!!!

 

Posted Sep 2, '09 at 3:33am

ServerHost

ServerHost

23 posts

Make that one up on ur own, huh? Anyways...

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the lightbulb has to want to change!

 

Posted Sep 2, '09 at 3:50am

playaholic

playaholic

653 posts

nice joke!

heres another one

one day,papa bunny was telling a story to bady bunny

papa bunny:once apon a time there was a cute little bunny called...

baby bunny:dad! I want something more science fiction!

papa bunny:ok then...ONCE apon a time,in a galazy far far away,there was an evil bunny....

baby bunny:boring! make it more grown up please...

papa bunny:promise u would not tell mommy,ok?

baby bunny:OK!

papa bunny:once,there was a sexy,big breasted bunny called....

mama bunny:I heard that!!! stop this instant!!!what have we said about such stories!!!huh???!!!

 

Posted Sep 5, '09 at 11:50pm

djfinalmix

djfinalmix

199 posts

yo mommas so fat that when jesus said 'let there be light,' she had to move.

 

Posted Sep 7, '09 at 2:07am

djfinalmix

djfinalmix

199 posts

yo mommas so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

 

Posted Sep 7, '09 at 2:22am

ggqf

ggqf

19 posts

lol that was a good one

 
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