ForumsThe TavernSarcasm?

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aknerd
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aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

I have a confession to make... I don't understand sarcasm. I never have. I literally cannot tell if someone is being serious or if they are joking.
It has been very dificult growing up without the ability to comprehend sarcastic comments. I remember when I was ten or eleven, a girl told me my bowl cut was really cool. So I kept the haircut. Recently, the same girl informed me that she was "only kidding," and that the haircut made me "look like a hairy mushroom". Why would she try to decieve me like that? Why wouldn't she just say what she meant?
I know she wasn't a bad person. Afterall, she did give me some nice hair advice. I'm now sporting a mullet, which she tells me is much cooler than a Bowlcut. I just don't get why she wouldn't tell me this initially, instead of waiting all of these years.

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2014631
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2014631
1,855 posts
Nomad

It really doesn't matter what tone of voice they use.


It doesn't on Armor Games lol. But usually people have some sort of sign. Either rolling their eyes, changing their tone of voice, or something
PanzerTank
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PanzerTank
1,708 posts
Nomad

When I use sarcasm theres mockery in my voice, so if the voice sounds like it's mocking then it's sarcasm. Mushroom cuts and mullets are g@y even though mullets are better than mushroom cuts trust me at my school theres one kid with a mushroom cut and he has one or two friends and he's not g@y stupid or anything he just looks dumb.

PanzerTank
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PanzerTank
1,708 posts
Nomad

It really doesn't matter what tone of voice they use. This actually reminds me of a very tragic accident.
A few years ago, I was learning to drive. My parents had signed me up for a driving class. After school, my driving instructor would pick me up, and we would go drive somewhere.
One day, we reached an intersection and I slowed down as we approached a red light. I didn't know whether I was supposed to turn or not, so I asked my instructor "What do I do now?"
He rolled his eyes and said "Well, it's a red light. So OBVIOUSLY you should floor it."
So I did.
Halfway across the intersection, I crashed into a school bus full of children. The jolt forced my hand into the steering wheel, breaking my wrist. My instructor wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and was thrown clear through the windshield into the side of the schoolbus. The children in the bus were all unharmed. My instructor, however, didn't make it.
After I told the police what happened, they arrested me for negligent homicide (they didn't believe that I actually did not know that my instructor was kidding). However, after my parents testified that I actually am not able to detect sarcasm, I got off.
To this day, I can't help but think that if my instructor hadn't been such a sarcastic jerk none of this would have happpened. I mean, I missed an episode of Family Guy (which is my favorite documentary series) because I had to attend my trial. How inconsiderate of him.

I find that funny as hell, why would the instructor say that to someone learning to drive?

I aslo punch people in the arm who uses sarcasm with me unless it's a teacher I'll use sarcasm back or answer rehetorical questions when he/she is giving us a lecture.
aknerd
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aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

Either rolling their eyes,

I know I shouldn't blame you in anyway, but that turned out to be the worst advice ever. Let me explain:

Last night was my wedding. Or, at least, it was supposed to be my wedding. I made it through the day's events with no problem. My best man showed up in a tux, and the caterer brought great food. All of my relatives from the lower 48 even made the journey to be with me. As I stood by the alter, waiting for my bride, I could see smiling faces everwhere. If only I had known this joy would be so short lived...

My wife-to-be (or so I thought) walked down the aisle towards me. Our preacher gave some very touching words about the importance of marriage, and about how this was a great day for everyone involved.

But then came the vows.

Our preacher turned to my bride and said "Do you take this man to be your lawful husband; and do you solemnly promise before God , and these witnesses that you will love, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto him so long as you both shall live?"

She looked up, smiled, and said "I do."

Naturally, I assumed she was rolling her eyes, and therefore was being sarcastic. I felt a rage brew up inside me. I grabbed the nearest glass of wine, and threw it in her face. I ran out of the church, pausing outside. My priest caught up with me and grabbed my arm. He said, "What are you doing? You're being an idiot!"

I looked him straight in the eyes. They weren't rolling. Which meant that he actually WAS calling me an idiot. So I threw wine in his face as well.

I ran to the curb, and hailed a nearby taxi. I told him to just drive. I wanted to get far away from that church. After a few minutes, he looked back at me and said, "Nice mullet."

His eyes were definitly rolling. So I threw wine in his face.

The taxi driver, yelling at the top of his lungs, lost control of the car. He sped into an intersection, crashing a schoolbus. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt, so he went flying through the windshield into the side of the bus.

I was alright, and managed to extract myself from the wreckage of the crash. I ran off into the woods, where I met a boyscout troop.

Thats all I can stand to write for now. There's alot more to the story, but I'm just too tired to write anything else.
goumas13
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goumas13
4,752 posts
Grand Duke

I quite like sarcasm and I use it often, but I personally prefer irony.
A quote:
Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word.
Ford Frick

Pois0nArr0w
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Pois0nArr0w
2,053 posts
Nomad

Sarcasm is one of the only ways I use to express myself openly. Everything else I due is rather subtle :P

Also, Aknerd, do you have a history with school buses?

Pois0nArr0w
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Pois0nArr0w
2,053 posts
Nomad

Everything else I do is rather subtle :P


Fix'd. I'm gonna go wonder how I let that slip now...
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