Forums

ForumsArt, Music, and Writing

Literature Fight!

Posted Aug 20, '10 at 12:55pm

aknerd

aknerd

1,276 posts

Wajor, nooooo! Everytime someone asks a question like that it gives the judges an opportunity to make the topic more restrictive, and then I have to go   rewrite my story... Again. Seriously, I try to get as far away from the intended theme without actually breaking any rules. So even just clarifying the rules hurts me quite a bit.

 

Posted Aug 20, '10 at 1:10pm

FallenSky

FallenSky

1,716 posts

Is there a set deadline? Because I work from Thursday to Sunday and I just came back from vacation so I'd need some more time peeps.

 

Posted Aug 20, '10 at 1:20pm

thepossum

thepossum

2,289 posts

The deadline is August 31st, Fallen.

 

Posted Aug 20, '10 at 2:09pm

wajor59

wajor59

904 posts

Seriously, I try to get as far away from the intended theme without actually breaking any rules. So even just clarifying the rules hurts me quite a bit.

You just said the magic words, "without actually breaking any rules".  I think I have broken the no tools rule?  I don't want points taken off my score over something so blatant, especially if I caught my mistake in time to fix it? 
The way I interpreted the rules  before I wrote my story was no supplies for making a hut or putting out the fire.  Then, just yesterday I reread the rules and it occurred to me that the no supplies rule, meant period.  We're to bring nothing, not even a cell phone, pocket knife, tooth brush, nothing!
*end of paranoid rant*

Isn't this one of the main fallacies of human beings?  We always have to have stuff with us where ever we go, and every where we go.
This first round is supposed to prove that we can creatively survive being abandoned on an island with just the clothes on our back, our brains and wits.
Having said this, I'm going to rewrite my story.  I'm sorry if this my cause others to rewrite theirs, too.  The few who have submitted their stories have followed the rules, except me.

 

Posted Aug 20, '10 at 3:03pm

jdoggparty

jdoggparty

3,314 posts

I think it is ok, but bringing a gun on a vacation? Take that out and replace it with something more survivor like, and it is fine.

 

Posted Aug 20, '10 at 6:22pm

kingryan

kingryan

4,165 posts

So the word limit is 2250?

Hmm...I think I spent too much time on getting onto the island...

 

Posted Aug 20, '10 at 7:39pm

wajor59

wajor59

904 posts

Day One - Jet Lag

I'm so glad it's Sunday.  Both of my flights have been on schedule and the food at LAX was good, for a change.  I took the limo to a smaller air strip just outside of San Diego to meet my pilot, Dwight Miller.  I am Josephine Moore; I developed a biodegradable soap, 12 years ago and Dwight Miller has been my pilot for the past ten years. 
Dwight will fly us to Hawaii, where we'll change from helicopter to a pontoon plane.  Then our flight continues to a tiny island close to the Solomon Islands.  It almost seems silly to travel so far just to relax for 4 days on an uninhabited island.  The Atlantic Seaboard is dotted with them but most don't have fresh water to drink or trees for food and shade. On Friday morning, Dwight will take me to Sidney, Australia where I'll meet my husband and begin our second honeymoon.  Another pilot will be bringing a visitor Wednesday afternoon but that's all I know.

Day one - The Storm

Dwight knew this storm would be bad and that we couldn't avoid it.  The closest land was the island we were heading for.  I couldn't see it yet and the sky was getting angry, fast.  He didn't have to tell me to strap on my life jacket but what I was looking for was the raft and parachutes.  He said not to worry about the chutes in this type of a storm.  As he spoke I found where the raft was and just pulled it a little closer to me.  I double checked my life jacket straps and blew the whistle, lightly.  Dwight told me to take the controls while he strapped into his life jacket. I could feel the sudden up drafts that for me were gentle but I could tell this was just the beginning of a nasty gale. 
Lightning struck the tail and I grabbed the raft, located the cord and watched Dwight.  He nodded and I deployed and dropped the raft just seconds before we crashed.  I unstrapped my safety harness and looked over at Dwight who was already opening his door.  My window was down so I just slipped through it before the copter started taking in water.  Now to the raft. The storm obliged us by sending streaks of lightning so we could see both the raft and the island. I pretended not to notice when a large warm object bumped my hip. I was getting to this raft but this object demanded respect and when the storm sent another streak of lightning we clearly saw the dorsal fin.  I didn't change course or speed but dove into the raft as best I could as Dwight was there and holding it steady. I grabbed the waist band of his jeans and leaned back with all of my might. The Shark bumped the raft just once and then we were drifting toward the island.  Just before I drifted off to sleep I asked Dwight if He or I were bleeding, one last time the sky seemed to obey by sending more lightning, we had all of our limbs and digits!

Day Two - The Storms Aftermath

Dawn was breaking over the ocean with soft tinges of pale pink to blushing peach to lavender with mauve trying its best to cover the night sky. Pearl white sand beach stretched from one horizon to the next with gentle waves rolling into the bay. Not an angry cloud was to be found as if a giant eraser had been waved to blot out last night's terrible storm.

The huts were simple, 5 in a semicircle around the bay of lapis lazuli colored water that was crystal clear.  I walked over to closest hut and climbed stairs, past the first landing that was a wrap around deck up to the door.  It was latched to the floor because it was a hurricane shutter.  In the Pacific, hurricanes are called typhoons, 'big wind'.
The sparsely furnished hut had one square table, two wooden folding chairs and two hammocks and only had a few decorations, four hurricane lamps, one pitcher and basin with a mirror hanging on the wall above it.  Two of the hurricane lamps were on a long wooden shelf that ran the whole width of the north facing wall, just above the shelf hung the mirror and below it was the table and chairs. The north and south walls were solid with no windows and the south facing wall, had a shelf with the other two lamps.  Two windows with hurricane shutters on the east facing wall with the door between them and it too was a hurricane shutter that doubled as a porch roof. The west facing wall had three windows with hurricane shutters. The hammocks were on the south wall and anchored to the pylons coming up through the floor. Mosquito netting was rolled up and tied to the ceiling above each hammock, thus completing the 2 minute tour.

I went around to every window and propped them open and moved on to the next hut and did the same.  While I was airing out the huts, Dwight was gathering food and water so I grabbed a couple of buckets from the outside shower closets and met up with him at the lagoon.

The lagoons waterfall could just barely be seen from the deck of the huts. I could have taken a canoe but my arms were pretty sore and I knew I would need my strength for fire building and food gathering.  I filled the two buckets directly from the waterfall  and placed them in the canoe as Dwight came up with an arm load of wood.  I took off for the fruit trees that surrounded the lagoon and as I walked I took off my outer shirt and tied it around my waist so I would be able to carry our daily allowance, plus some for snacking.  I told Dwight that I would see him before he had the fire blazing, which turned out to be true!

Day Three - Where There's Smoke

Dwight and I decided to walk the circumference of the island.  We brought a bucket of water with us and took turns carrying it while the other ate.  We walked as far as we could before reaching the steep cliffs.  We both wanted to reach the top of the island.  We found an easier way once we turned around, tucked behind a huge boulder was a narrow path that must have been ancient. Perhaps this was a dried stream bed.  We climbed as carefully as we could and once again took turns carrying the bucket.
The climb was worth the sweat but after enjoying the view we realized our perilous situation.  The island was on fire and the lagoon and the bay were the safest and furthest away from this blaze. 
"Dwight, do you think the storm did this?", I asked.
"That would be my guess", Dwight answered
We both hadn't said very much before now.  I think we knew it was too soon to make dinner reservations and buy concert tickets for any future dates with our spouses.  We were both waiting to see what each hour brought.  For me, I was hoping Wednesday afternoon brought rescue.  Dwight was hoping we could make it through the night.

Day Four - Rescue or Recovery?

I was making my third canoe trip carrying all of the buckets I could find full of water from the lagoon.  While I was dousing the huts roof top with water, Dwight was cutting a fire line in the jungle.  He found a fierce looking rock that could pass for an ancient pick axe.  It was even 'L' shaped but Dwight still had to get on his knees to work.  As with most men, who don't know when to take a break, I brought him water, handed him the bucket and said,
"It's your turn."  I tossed him a piece of fruit, too.
"I'll be back soon.", He said.
"I've only made three trips and have been dousing just one hut.  It'll will take all of the water we can haul.", I smiled and then added, "Besides we're not digging the Holland Tunnel!" I almost dug as far as he had when he returned.  Carrying two freshly grilled fish kabobs, a bucket of water and more fruit.  What a feast!
"How?", is all I dared to ask.
"They volunteered.", He laughed and said, "Really, they just leaped into the canoe."
We had just stood up to walk back to the hut after digging to the back side of the waterfall when we heard a pontoon plane.  Like two kids, we took off running.

The pilot was speaking English with a heavy Australian accent,
"Did you know this island's on fire?"
"I laughed", and said, "No, I always look this way."

As he turned his sea plane around we quickly removed as much sandy dirt as we could from our jeans.  With what was left of the water in the bucket we washed our faces and hands.  Dwight ran to secure the canoe and all the shutters.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Please accept this as my final story.  I ask a moderator to delete the original that I feel was breaking the "no supplies" rule.

 

Posted Aug 20, '10 at 9:41pm

firetail_madness

firetail_madness

19,843 posts

So the word limit is 2250?

Hmm...I think I spent too much time on getting onto the island...

My proposed word limit is 5000, so I think you'll be fine.

 

Posted Aug 21, '10 at 11:06am

kingryan

kingryan

4,165 posts

So I can write over 2250? Or will I be penalised?

 

Posted Aug 22, '10 at 7:47am

kingryan

kingryan

4,165 posts

2650 words...will I get penalised for that? I hopes not...

 
Reply to Literature Fight!

You must be logged in to post a reply!