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Maverick4
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Maverick4
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Shepherd

Well, if you know me, then you know that this would be my third thread for my writings. If you don't know me, as in your a new(er) user, than this is my third thread for my writings. This is a fairly akward situation, so I feel the need to explain:

I am making this final thread (and yes, final), because I realised something during my Hiatus. When I 'quit' AG, I was fairly discusted with my works. I absolutely loathed them. And after a while, I realized something: that it didn't matter. Who cares what I thought about them. What matters is what OTHERs think about them. I wouldn't be able to grow as a writer if my angst over my own works led people to assume that they WERE bad.

While some of them genuinely reeked, there were others that were genuinely good. And as I looked back over my first writings, I realized another thing too: that I had gotten better. That my works had gone from a slipshod, unbalanced affair to a generarrly more organized shipshod affair.

So I am not making this thread to be unique in having *3* threads about my work, or for vanity, or anything like that. I am making it so that you, the reader, will look at my works, and will hopefully tell me how to get better.

Sincerely, Mav

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Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

That's a good song, Mav. I like it. It's so descriptive and has so much emotion, in my humble opinion.


Your humble opinion is greatly appreciated.

And how do I be loud here?


How do you not be loud here?
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Politics As Usual

Our Politicians control us;
The Scientist, they guide us through;
The Ignorant just lead us on,
The Ignorant just lead us on.

Sheep; we're lead down to the slaughter,
Invisible Hands help us through.
How Ignorant! We lead ourselves.
How Ignorant! We lead ourselves.

Can't you see as we bleed here,
The Stars that shine within our eyes?
Juxtaposed; Hallowed policy,
Juxtaposed; Hallowed policy.

You cast up dust to hide behind,
Atleast we'll know one certain fact:
That we know Death will take us home,
Look! Death has come to take us home.
__________
I wrote this for the 10 Day Poetry Contest. The theme was 'A Thing Unfound'.

I was checking my facebook thismorning, and several of the News Groups that I follow, both left and right leaning, reported that Obama was giving out another stimulus package. I was amazed that people could push for and support something like that when the previous attempts had failed, or hadn't held up to expectations.

So its really about how we allow our leaders to pull the wool over our eyes, and we just blindly follow them without really listen to what's being said. We just act based on whos talking and whether they follow party lines. And ultimately, thats going to screw us.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Chapter 3: Pulchritude Flees

"Look mate. Give me my money, and I won't slam your face into the counter."

Cashiers. I hated them. I hated shopping. I hated everything about the commercial aspects of society, even though I'm a devout Capitalist.

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about. I've never seen you before in my life!" The cashier stammered. In a breach from my usual sedate self, I was actually intimidating someone.

"Right. Do you, or do you not, sell wood."

"I do..." He answered carefully, unaware of where the conversation was going.

"O.k. And is this, or is this not, the wood that you typically sell?" I said, showing him the cart of timber I had recently purchased from him for construction of my flying machine.

"It is..." Poor bugger. If he can't figure this out, then the next few moments are going to be a bombshell to him.

"Good. Than you aggree that you sold me this, and thats my money. So I'll just take it back, because you and I both know that you've charged me way to much."

At this, I drew his face in close to mine.

"And I highly suggest you give me what I want."

The Cashier was in a near panic now, and his eyes suddenly darted down to my collar. I felt Ama and Tsu moving around, though I didn't figure he would be able to see them. Ama and Tsu poked their head out, and fixed their eyes upon the helpless fellow.

He gave a strangled sort of cry, and passed out. I let him slip through my fingers, and grabbed the money that was rightfully mine.

I grabbed the cart handles, and began to work it through the crowd that had formed while watching the scuffle. No Moderators had arrived at the scene, atleast not yet, and I didn't want to be around when they did show up. It would seem that as AG grew, the amount of Moderators really stayed the same.

"Thats good to know. Very good to know." Less active Mods meant that I was less likely to be caught doing what I was about to. I mentally reviewed my plan.

Get to the City... Check. Get supplies... Check. Get money ripped from me and get away... Check. I made many mental list; it was how I kept track of everything important. If it wasn't in a list, I was bound to forget it.

Get to the roof of the Cathedral... This was the tricky part of my plan. When I had met Parsat earlier, we had reasoned that my Flying Device might beable to get sufficient lift if launched from a high enough place. The Cathedral had a bell tower, and more importantly, a tall one. If I could get the fiew timbers, bolts of cloth, and coils of rope up to the top, I could assemble the Device quickly, and then test it out.

The problem, was that it was the top of the Cathedral.

"Its blashpemy!" Cried Ama. "You're corrupting a device to use it for your own means, rather than the intentions of what it was designed to be for!"

"Nonsense!" Replied Tsu. "Mav clearly intends to share the results of his work, and therefore better society. So taking advantage of a Religious Site is a small price to pay for the betterment of everyone."

Ama and Tsu entered into another one of their squabbles at this. Out of experience, I knew that there was nothing I could do to cease it until they themselves stopped bickering. After a few moments, Tsu ammerged the victor.

"Carry on!" She said, in a sing-song voice.

"Excellent. In a few short hours, we'll be very famous, very dead, or both." I said, acknowledgeing the obvious dangers to my plan. "If we don't go splat, crash, or boom, we should be fine."

"Mav...?" Tsu said sweetly, completely blowing my mind that such an evil character could even pretend to be good.

"Erm... Yeah?"

Tsu dropped the facade. "Just climb the tower."

I replied by setting down the cart, and entering into the Cathedral. I paused at the door, before continueing on. I remembered what I had said previously: In a short while, I'd be very famous, very dead, or most likely, both.
__________
Long overdue, the fourth installment in the series. I've now decided to entitle it 'Confessions', and once I get the first bit done, and a few other things get worked out, I may make a thread solely for this. Any and all critiques are welcome, thanks.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

It never ends.
Step in; Step out,
Loud.
As Darkness reigns
Over the land.

I lose control.
Burn up; Burn out,
How?
As Stars go out
Over the land.

I can't break free.
Break lose; Break out,
Pain!
Why have chains
When we can't move?

Looking out, looking down, looking in.
Way down here,
Where the light is dimmer.

Looking out, looking down, looking in.
Way down here,
Where the light is dimmer
__________
Wrote this for the 'First Line Poetry'. First line courtesy of iMogwai.

Jefferysinspiration
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Jefferysinspiration
3,182 posts
Blacksmith

^ Incredible. Simply Incredible.

I liked how it got progressively deeper.
My favourite bit being:

I lose control.
Burn up; Burn out,
How?
As Stars go out
Over the land.


Really beautiful mav.
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Thanks Shona! That means a lot.

kingjac11
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kingjac11
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Peasant

The new bit of your story is great.Keep it up.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Haiku

People move around,
Yet I'm alone with in my
Soul. No one sees me.
__________
Wrote this for the Haiku Contest. Theme was 'The Last Person on Earth'. Took it at a metaphorical translation, rather than a more literal one.

I think I write Haikus about nature better.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Reflections I

As this is the first in what is most likely going to be a long line of Reflections, and since it is customary at first meetings to do so, I'd like to introduce myself:

I am Anonymous.

That is to say, the Internet offers me a certain level of anonymity. I've found that at times like this, its a very useful thing to have on your side. The fact that this very thread exist is clear evidence for that. Ironic, really, that I'm comfortable with putting up self-creations for the world to see, yet I dare not tell anyone I know that I write poetry, or even know how to rhyme. May be I don't feel comfortable with my apparent skill, or may be I fear criticism from people I actually know. I don't know, and I'd rather not know, but thats the purpose of this, of these 'Reflections', and we will find out together.

Now you're probably wondering 'Whats the real purpose of this?'. And its a fair question. And the purpose is linked in the same reason that I post my poetry on the internet. I find it very hard to open up to other people. Its a sick humor that in attempting to 'Go Against the Flow', to be a maverick, I end up subcumbing to the same doubts, the same questions, the same problems as the majority of people. First and foremost, who am I? What is my purpose? What is my identity?

We will delve further at a later date.

Jefferysinspiration
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Jefferysinspiration
3,182 posts
Blacksmith

Your style of writing amazes me. You're able to flow your words so sophisticated for your age. It's very impressive.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Reflections II

There are Seven Billion people on the Earth. Seven Billion people spread out across Six Continents. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder, we'd all cover an area about the size of Los Angeles, California. And I'm just one dot, one blip, in the sea of faces.

From that perspective, its fairly easy to feel insignificant. One out of Seven Billion, and on a fairly small planet in the wash of the Universe. So saying its fairly easy to feel insignificant is really just an understament. A very large understatement.

In comparison, I'm a phytoplankton in the Tide of the Human Races.

So may be thats why an identity is of an increasing importance to me. Its easy to get lost among the mass of people we know, often numbering in the thousands. Yet socioligist tell us that the most persons and individual can know and have a relation with is just 150. So by existing, we already go against human nature. Or may be we're just following it?

Jefferysinspiration
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Jefferysinspiration
3,182 posts
Blacksmith

its fairly easy to feel insignificant.


It's very easy to; but shouldn't trying to make yourself not insignificant be the issue?

We're all on this earth - meaning as individuals to people who do not know us we will always be insignificant - but isn't it possible to just put your efforts into being significant to those who matter? The few people we allow ourselves to get close to?
Maverick4
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Maverick4
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Shepherd

It's very easy to; but shouldn't trying to make yourself not insignificant be the issue?


Taking this step-by-step, so as to not be so long winded. That'll be coming up next.
idontsuckthatmuch
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idontsuckthatmuch
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Peasant

The fact that this very thread exist is clear evidence for that. Ironic, really, that I'm comfortable with putting up self-creations for the world to see, yet I dare not tell anyone I know that I write poetry, or even know how to rhyme


Hm, I knew I wasn't the only person that thought like that. I'd never tell anyone I knew that I like to do things like this, either.

As for the insignificance, that's thinking on a very large scale. There's nothing wrong with that, but, well, you could end up thinking like you are now. Try starting on a smaller scale first. Be important to the people around you, the people you're close to.

In other words, I just offered you the same advice that Shona did. I hope it helped anyway. :/
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Haiku

Delicately clad,
Fine petticoats of petals,
Finest of the field.
__________
Haiku about flowers, incase that wasn't made clear enough.

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