Forums → The Tavern → General Relationship Thread
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I've noticed the increase in threads being made about problems with relationships and dating. Now, I have no problem with the subject matter. No, my problem is with the amount of threads people are creating about it.
Judging by all these threads being made about the same thing, it's safe to say it's inevitable for these questions to be asked; and since the answers to these relationship/dating questions are generally very similar, putting all the questions in one thread saves time and posting.
No, this is not a thread where you specifically ask me for advice; I don't know very much about this subject. I'm simply the guy who has created the thread so you can post your questions for anybody to answer.
So if you have a question about dating or relationships, or anything along those lines, ask it here, wait for someone to reply here, and don't make a new thread about it!
- 2,106 Replies
Are you interested in other people, or are you interested in other people being interested in you?
No offense intended, but talking too much is not a guarantee of friendship...
I don't talk too much, and it's not like I spend much of that time if any talking about myself. I've seen people who never know when to end a conversation and just keep talking even when I try to walk away. It's not a fun experience.
Are you interested in other people, or are you interested in other people being interested in you?
Both.
I didn't really find any real friends until I was well out of high school. A psychology major tells me part of the reason is that male empathetic development comes later in life. I also had a remarkably delayed social development to boot.
Then again high school is a time where people are still struggling to assert their identity... it's a matter of how open people are to revealing this process.
Why`s that Sal? This thread is just as important as any other. Back me up Ace.
Wait...was that my cue?
This thread is important, because without it, I would still be single....
Technically be single. I'm married on FB, which is, as all of you know, a huge deal. I apparently missed the wedding. ;-;
Any suggestions?
Be yourself? Unless...you're not a Cool-Cat with an Obey snapback, iPhone 5, Beats, Osiris shoes, #IGotSwag Shirt, low jeans with your fancy brand boxers showing, and only one ear piercing.
That's what's considered a Kool-Kat around these parts.
Seriously....be yourself. And trust me, sometimes what you wanted all along, is not what you needed. You may say you want the ladies, but sometimes, I wish I was all lonely again.
There..now we make it in your comfort zone
We don't judge anyone, right everyone?
low jeans with your fancy brand boxers showing, and only one ear piercing.
That's what's considered a Kool-Kat around these parts.
I like how progressive things are, that's actually really cool. I thought low jeans was derived from prison slacks to indicate that you were a bottom and available for "service", and that one ear piercing was related to the rumoured "secret gay handshake". Yeah, now these things have been appropriated it's like a form of widespread tolerance and acceptance, that's very cool indeed.
The Beats however, they need to go.
*Looks around to make sure no one's looking*
"Cool... All clear."
*Sneaks into the GRT again*
I hate to sit around, though.
No, don't do that. No, no, no, no, no. That's the worst thing you could possibly do. No, no, no, no, no. Ask her! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But don't ask her at a bad time. No, no, no, no, no. Good luck! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
*Vanishes into the night*
Sup, any interesting tidbits on some unfortunate soul's love life?
This is a conservative co-op we're classmates in
#YOLOSWAG
Haha, seriously though. What difference does it make? Do you mean you can't do anything until he co-op is over? If that's the case, it just gives you more time.
That's not to mention I've only gotten to know her much over the past month, and any advances I try to make at this point will just seem rushed.
I knew my GF for a month before I asked her out. Now we've been together for nearly 3 years.
I'll probably invite her to graduation (she's a graduating sophomore this year, though apparently she only has a few more credits to graduate for good), and we might talk there about what will be happening past that.
That's... unlikely, mi amigo. Unfortunately, horror stories of graduated kids haunt me everyday. The couple goes long distance and can't see each other anymore, the couple fights due to tensions from the adult life, the couple gets "serious" (used in the least conventional sense possible) before they're ready to and have kids too early... I would get together with her now, lest you lose her after graduation or try to attempt getting together alongside the major stresses of adult life.
(talking about relationships in general)
Cough
Then again, we'll have known each other on a personal level thrice as long as we do now, and I have no idea how much would change in that time.
Like I said, everything could change before graduation. Also, I'll admit that only a month is a bit short. My guess would be that this is only a temporary crush - the same types of things every guy gets in their high school years.
And I haven't even talked to my husband about this...
I would do this before anything, lest you get murdered by two people. :P
What I mean is, she actually acts somewhat like a conservative, on a multitude of levels. Unlike me :S
That isn't beneficial; however, 'cause she's talking to you and all, she might be a little, um, what's the right word... lenient? She might be a little more, uh, lenient towards having a relationship. Or I guess you could say she'd be more open to one. By the way, what's the nature of your conversations? Flirtatious, I'd assume, because you're one swanky guy haha. But seriously, the nature of them could very well convince her towards a relationship.
What other option would there be? If I ask early, we'd only end up being long-distance anyways, unless I somehow convinced her to go to the same college as I, which is rather unlikely.
Oh, right. You're a Senior. I forgot. I suppose a long-distance relationship would be your only method of having any relationship then.
1. The girl actually talks back.
Y
2. The girl is actually asking back.
E
It's more of a qwerky admiration for her than a . . . how you say, lust?
S
Anyways, nope, not a crush, and it's definitely not one-sided.
She sounds golden for you, man.
She's almost freakishly conservative, in a way that has blindsided me and intrigued me such that I never expected to quite like a girl who seems to remain so innocent. I don't mean that in a bad way at all, but it seems so rare, even within the co-op.
Wow... That's what brought me to my girl...
And I haven't even talked to my husband about this...Good lord I thought that nonsense was a thing of the past.
Anyway, if you think you might like a girl but blah, you should talk to her about your feelings. Just talk to her about the same sort of stuff you're describing to us. Seriously, you do know what to say. You just said it. It really is that easy. Often.
Also, if you're attracted to a girl's innocence it probably means you're a bad person. Xzeno relationship advice!
What I mean is, she actually acts somewhat like a conservative, on a multitude of levels. Unlike me :S
deeeeeeal breakerrrrrrr! xD
Okay on a more serious note:
1. The girl actually talks back. 2. The girl is actually asking back. 3. It's more of a qwerky admiration for her than a . . . how you say, lust?
Observer bias may cause you to skew interpretation of otherwise innocuous phenomena. This is how accusations of "she was totally leading me on man" happens. I say this based on personal experience from having those weird crushes I never understood (they were never my type) and the girl would always seem to make these friendly overtures but if you up and asked, you'd get a pretty quick clarification. So yeah totally don't sit on it too long.
Also, if you're attracted to a girl's innocence it probably means you're a bad person.
What if you're attracted to the contrast between a girl's presumed innocence and her true nature? }:-P My best (female) friend who is the mutual friend between my gf and myself keeps admonishing me not to hurt her because she is "very innocent" and apparently I can be like some totally bad boy who is all detached and cool and stuff. Uh huh. Right. I'm really like that >_>
I might try to nab her during a free period and talk about various topics to get more than a small-talk perspective.
Good plan. At your stage it seems like that's a start, and then the bigger test would be whether somebody was willing to actually spend one on one time with you in a purely social setting. This doesn't differentiate between friends and more-than-friends, after all, I catch up with my friends over dinner frequently, but it certainly gauges levels of comfort. That crush I had back in 2008... I should have known two years before being told, that it wasn't going to be reciprocated when she got sudden cold feet for no apparent reason on a lunch that we'd enthusiastically organised a week in advance... two years later a mutual friend informed me that this girl had quietly confided in him that she thought this may be an indication that I liked her (which was true) and that she didn't feel she could return those feelings (which she should have been clearer about... maybe). No harm done, it's not like I was "boyfriend material" back then anyway.
p.s. when I said "observer bias" the specific term I should have used was "confirmation bias".
You know what though, my seniors kept telling me that when you get "old" enough to know what you are and where you stand, and more importantly where you might be going, even if that means you know that there's only limited certainty if any at all, then you know enough to know somebody who is just right for you when you see them. That's what happens when people just "click". I'd stop short of calling it "soul mates" or "love that is meant to be" but I sarcastically once summarised it as "magic" and shockingly, somebody agreed with me. And more shockingly I "clicked" with somebody and now I have all these suspicious intuitions that it's something that's actually going to grow and develop. Only time will tell whether that's true, of course.
Relationship Question?
A Senior asking out a Freshmen?
Senior boy asking out a Frosh girl?
Senior girl asking out a Frosh boy?
....I mean....it's an 18 year old asking out a 14 year old.
What's AG's opinion on this?
A Senior asking out a Freshmen?
I don't recommend this.
Senior boy asking out a Frosh girl?
Sometimes. Here, for the most part, couples are comprised of an older guy and a younger gal, though the couple I'm a part of is opposite.
Senior girl asking out a Frosh boy?
I don't recommend this.
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