Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Write lyrics/poetry?
| 63 | 14027 |
Post your original lyrics and poetry here!
---
Been toying around with the idea for a while now. Thought, why not! This is a thread where aspiring songwriters and poets can post their own stuff, be it ideas, fragments, or the whole thing. But there are a few rules:
* Your own stuff only, otherwise it should go in the Movies and Music section. Don't think you can get away with plagarism- if you stole it chances are it's within easy reach of Google.
* No flaming please. It sucks putting your heart and soul into verse than having some a-hole come along and be all like "omg ***."
* No stealing, obviously. Imitation may be the truest form of flattery, but stealing someone's work is just rude and pointless.
It would be lovely if you could give us an idea of whether it's set to music/what you plan to do with it, and whatnot. Technical discussion is very welcome.
If this takes off, I'll post some of my stuff too.
Have fun!
- 63 Replies
Ah, young love...
I was going to ask what was with the chatspeak, but the mystery is solved!
Also: LOL @ Grey...5-7-5 Haiku format. What a cheap shot :P
...
Right, let's lay down some more rhymes. This one here is a work-in-progress, I started writing it after carefully listening (yes, no joke) to Eminem's album Encore several times to study his lyrical flow, over the backdrop of Dr. Dre's phat, minimalistic stomping beats, and came to a realisation about the various facets of the rap aesthetic.
In previous work, my backing tracks (or at least their skeleton) were much more complex and busy, with catchy riffs and multiple layers. As such this gave me much less wiggle-room for the flow, and so my rap turned out old skool, like 80s-early 90s rap.
However, having generated a hip-hop beat that consisted of a drum pattern, a square-lead synth effect and a background piano ostinato, I came up with this:
---
You think you know evil? (Sure you do) well let me tell you about-
A story of a boy who sells his soul to the devil-
Wait I donât mean to be all technical, but see your meta-
-physicalâs all tied up with the two sides, it seems-
To me you need to free your mind youâre blind (do you mind?)
Pardon, it seems being a mite trite undermines your hard-on*,
Still, itâs my honest intention to invest your hard-earned at-
-tention so listen well, Iâll show you round hell,
Start with the bells the death knell have heart, it gets-
Better I just gotta set âer up, wait on second-
Thoughts Iâm gonna rewind, find the right state,
Defined by the sublime fate of pure good now thereâs-
Sure food for thought right there, stare at the light of-
Wisdom, want pathetic epithets? Iâll list some,
Empathy, often lacking in one, who aims-
To play the world like a game, by the same token, unfurl-
Plans to pave the way, to save the lay-
Person or ultimately to make them all pay,
For the sake of God, God is myself, they say, thatâs when-
You make haste to take the state of their mental health!
Stop, press, donât slot my address into a-
Profile while Iâm so style-seeking a vernacular,
To bring the class of this spectacular rant to the masses,
I talk more sense than collectively out of your a**es!
Iâm sorry, donât worry, I donât intend to be crass, itâs-
Oh blast it, if I offend, (heaven forfend) more-
Likely itâs all in your head, I never said anything I read,
Are you yet mad? We ainât close to the point where it gets bad.
Itâs not a fad, you got to understand, this mental malaise is out-
Of my hands, the crazed maniac youâre seeing tied to the rack wasnât-
Wired, or maybe treated like a human being, who knows what goes on-
In that head, soulâs gone, clinically dead,
...
Yeah, that's what I got so far. I don't expect you to actually try to rap it, because its construction is very complex, and the flow is very difficult to define (but it's definitely there!) let alone practice, as the same sounds have to be accentuated and slightly distorted in the same way to bring it out, which largely dictates the rhythmic flow.
Try pinpointing all the rhymes! I've actually colored the rhyming text in MS Word just to keep a track on the scheme, and it's like a patchwork quilt!
I intend to build this up in the form of a rant over 4 minutes (I'm halfway there), where it gets freer, more agitated and more vitriolic. But I shan't post it in its entirety here.
* Yes, I'm aware there are some words in here that I'm not entirely sure are appropriate. I've censored the obvious ones but I don't know whether this one needs fixing.
Oh no! Foiled by character substitution! I've flagged the above post for deletion...allow me to try again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, young love...
I was going to ask what was with the chatspeak, but the mystery is solved!
Also: LOL @ Grey...5-7-5 Haiku format. What a cheap shot :P
...
Right, let's lay down some more rhymes. This one here is a work-in-progress, I started writing it after carefully listening (yes, no joke) to Eminem's album Encore several times to study his lyrical flow, over the backdrop of Dr. Dre's phat, minimalistic stomping beats, and came to a realisation about the various facets of the rap aesthetic.
In previous work, my backing tracks (or at least their skeleton) were much more complex and busy, with catchy riffs and multiple layers. As such this gave me much less wiggle-room for the flow, and so my rap turned out old skool, like 80s-early 90s rap.
However, having generated a hip-hop beat that consisted of a drum pattern, a square-lead synth effect and a background piano ostinato, I came up with this:
---
You think you know evil? (Sure you do) well let me tell you about-
A story of a boy who sells his soul to the devil-
Wait I don't mean to be all technical, but see your meta-
-physical's all tied up with the two sides, it seems-
To me you need to free your mind you're blind (do you mind?)
Pardon, it seems being a mite trite undermines your hard-on*,
Still, it's my honest intention to invest your hard-earned at-
-tention so listen well, I'll show you round hell,
Start with the bells the death knell have heart, it gets-
Better I just gotta set 'er up, wait on second-
Thoughts I'm gonna rewind, find the right state,
Defined by the sublime fate of pure good now there's-
Sure food for thought right there, stare at the light of-
Wisdom, want pathetic epithets? I'll list some,
Empathy, often lacking in one, who aims-
To play the world like a game, by the same token, unfurl-
Plans to pave the way, to save the lay-
Person or ultimately to make them all pay,
For the sake of God, God is myself, they say, that's when-
You make haste to take the state of their mental health!
Stop, press, don't slot my address into a-
Profile while I'm so style-seeking a vernacular,
To bring the class of this spectacular rant to the masses,
I talk more sense than collectively out of your a**es!
I'm sorry, don't worry, I don't intend to be crass, it's-
Oh blast it, if I offend, (heaven forfend) more-
Likely it's all in your head, I never said anything I read,
Are you yet mad? We ain't close to the point where it gets bad.
It's not a fad, you got to understand, this mental malaise is out-
Of my hands, the crazed maniac you're seeing tied to the rack wasn't-
Wired, or maybe treated like a human being, who knows what goes on-
In that head, soul's gone, clinically dead,
...
Yeah, that's what I got so far. I don't expect you to actually try to rap it, because its construction is very complex, and the flow is very difficult to define (but it's definitely there!) let alone practice, as the same sounds have to be accentuated and slightly distorted in the same way to bring it out, which largely dictates the rhythmic flow.
Try pinpointing all the rhymes! I've actually colored the rhyming text in MS Word just to keep a track on the scheme, and it's like a patchwork quilt!
I intend to build this up in the form of a rant over 4 minutes (I'm halfway there), where it gets freer, more agitated and more vitriolic. But I shan't post it in its entirety here.
* Yes, I'm aware there are some words in here that I'm not entirely sure are appropriate. I've censored the obvious ones but I don't know whether this one needs fixing.
^Dude, he just said that he messed up, and flagged his own comment so it would be deleted. Read the whole post before saying something that was already answered.
My lust to rise
My name is nathanyal and this is my story.
Im stuck in the underworld for I have no glory.
leaded by a man named lucifer he's the worst of them all.
but when i said that i should of known it would lead to my fall.
there was this a**hole he was hells snitch.
when I had the chance I should have killed that son of a b****.
see I had this plane to get out of this pit.
For the city above had thousands of tunnles for escape thats it.
right when i got there the devil stould in front of me.
eerie on his face was a small show of glee.
he slashed me and then i was crushed.
out of my wounds I saw my blood rush.
back here in hell the devil i dispise.
chained in my cell I still have my lust ro rise.
Dude, yeah, you, whose name be Ace,
I'm 'fraid you've posted to the wrong place,
I'mma do you a favor, save you some face,
And have your post removed from this space!
...oooold skool! xD And by that I mean the Rob Zombie lyrics...wrong sub-forum!
Whoah, 'voidy, didn't mean to post over you...for some reason I didn't see it before I posted.
But may I say this: eeeeeeeeeemooooooooo! >P
Haha, it is fine. Even though if you read more into it and think there are far more violent undertones than anything else. But hey, that being said...I can deal with something like that being my emo side. That just means that getting on my bad side more or less means instant death. ^_^
...that's what an emo teen would say c.c
You haven't been holding out on us all this time have you!
man strop, you speek with the darkness on your toung but you show no pride in it. you have no cruelty in your language,and you show no signs of ever being an incompitent demon spawn. dispicable
Whoever said I wanted to be all dark and evil and stuff? D:
Here's a pretty, pensive, lonely love song just to make you turn in your bed at night!
---
Drifting
Sometimes when I lie alone in bed I let myself think of those-
Heady days gone past,
And let myself flick through old memories and wonder how could-
Time fly by so fast,
And through starless night times I can sigh and count the days until the-
Final die is cast,
For all the things we've said and done it just so happens everything-
Wasnât meant to last,
Just hold me, hold me, if just one more time,
It's cold here, cold here, reaching deep inside,
You told me, told me, that love had to fly,
I fold in, fold in, when I say goodbye.
I wish in my slumber I could pick out those delights hidden in-
All of space and time,
And spin amidst the sheets entwined in limbs to share a taste, a little-
Glimpse of the sublime,
And basking in the vibrant glow I travel back and find a place with-
Everything so fine,
Why is it now that we can't feel the love the pain the gestures run a-
Dozen for a dime,
Just hold me, hold me, if just one more time,
It's cold here, cold here, reaching deep inside,
You told me, told me, that love had to fly,
I fold in, fold in, when I say goodbye.
Just hold me, hold me, if just one more time,
It's cold here, cold here, reaching deep inside,
You told me, told me, that love had to fly,
Thereâs more to, more to us than meets the eye.
~Strop, October 2006
Shoot. I missed two errant auto-formatted apostrophes. I curse thee, ill-begotten MS Word!
Ah, Strop, I really liked that last one. Specifically the third verse is just full of awesome.
Only one thing: as much as I try not to let it, I can't help but let the Transformers theme ruin the very last line and little tune I was carrying in my head.
read the topic a poem I wrote for a girl....' Thats mine
And yes it's original, and thats how I felt about her.
It was never given to her though....
~Snowman1474
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