ForumsArt, Music, and WritingProbably Poems

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murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

I want a poem thread. I already have a haiku thread, soo...
Anyway, this is my poem thread. And no, unless you have specific permission from me to post your own poems, I'd rather you didn't. Only comments. Only VIPs get to post their poems on my thread here.

Here's my first poem. Please tell me what you think.

The Most Complicated Emotion at its Best 05/02/11

Terrible storms of wrath,
out bursts a sudden laugh,
tumultuous cries of pain,
a hard put struggle for whats left,
a path to peace instead of self gain,
this is the most complicated emotion at its best.

Strong raptures of passion,
intermittent effects that are lasting,
inexpressible desires,
a resolution that never tires,
powerful enough to bend a nation,
at times calm, at times patient,
when put to the test,
this is the most complicated emotion at its best.

Resolutions incorruptible even unto death,
this is the most complicated emotion at its best!

  • 35 Replies
murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

I'm sorry? I guess I could tell you what this emotion is. You may not agree though.
It's love. And no, this isn't the first of this style. I used to write lots of poems when I was much younger.

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

i think it is a great poem, and i love the amount of emotion and expression you put into it.

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

Thank you shailajaisrani! I'm going to add you to my friend list!
Thank you for your positive feedback!

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

Thank you, Shelly for your kind words. Do you write poems too?
If so, I'd love to see some of them!

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

yes. go o the post "the poem" and you'll see a bunch of poems and short stories.

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

Thank you, Shelly!

How about this?

Once upon a time
If everyone was sad,
I'd what I could,
But could I fix this?
If everyone was mad,
I know what I should,
But can I stand this?
Once upon a time
No one was mad
No one was sad
Once upon a time
People were happy
People were lucky
Once upon a time
I could have made this rhyme.

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

it's good but there isn't a lot of expression in it. the meaning is good but a bit confusing. but overall i think it's good. keep it up

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

Thank you so much Shelly sis. It's supposed to be confusing. Btw, I meant to say, I'd do what I could, not, I'd what I could. Accident!
Here's a short one:

He was looking into my eyes,
His own seemed so wise.
He was holding my hand,
His own seemed so worn,
He helped me to understand,
He himself was so torn.
But we made it through,
even to the end he was true.
This is our ode,
This is to us,
This is our code,
This is how we trust.

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

i like that one! it comes from the heart and is very honest

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

Thank you, Shelly sis! Yes, its a favorite
and a spur of the moment.

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

lol right more poems. haha i wanna see what u got..jk. haha but still, write more poems!!

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

An aha moment

I said, ' Aha, I've got it!'
I think it just came to me!
like a hole, a small slit
opening so I can breathe.

Let's see what I can do,
with this tiny fortune.
Can I turn it into two,
Or will it break soon?

Can I tell what will happen?
When opportunity strikes?
Can I fix what I've broken,
with a wall of dams or dikes?

I say, yes, I can, aha, I've found it!
I say, yea, I will, a hah, I've got it!

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

omg that one is soo true. lol happens to everyone! i really like it! nice job, once again, sista!

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

Thank YOU, Shelly sis! As always, I can count on solid support from YOU! Thank you! It's people like you that makes it worth writing!

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

lol whats with the "YOU". haha and yup, anytime

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