ForumsForum GamesThe Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

348 39890
CommanderPaladin
offline
CommanderPaladin
1,538 posts
185

OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.

Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]

I'll start:
1. Instant Seafood.
If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.

2. Crowd Control.
When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them.
With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >

3. Practical Joke/Revenge.
If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows:
1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better.
2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. >
3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >


Okay, your turn. Surprise me!

  • 348 Replies
BoredMartian
offline
BoredMartian
677 posts
50

49. Homework helper

Is your homework too hard and you can't even understand it. OPEN THE OCTOCAN! It does your homework in a blink! Just erase the extra black ink marks.

Chryosten
online
Chryosten
15,585 posts
6,070

50. Balloons.

Have a party soon and you forgot to buy a packet of balloons? Use OctoCan! By pumping in helium and tying a string to it, you can give it out to the kids. Best of all, dying the ink inside the octopus will make pretty colours.

amorboy
offline
amorboy
1,258 posts
1,420

51. nuke !!

are you a crazy terrorist ?? dont you have anough money to buy a nuke ?? well that kind of problem wont ever happen again !!! cause with a octocan nuke you can destroy everywhere you want within a second !!

MagicTree
offline
MagicTree
759 posts
630

Environment Protection
Oh noes! The d*mn woodcutters are at it again! No worries! just plant a SeedoCan in the ground and, within minutes, a massive OctoCan tree! Grows 2-126 OctoCans. For a limited time only!

O.O aarmer, how could you? I'll give you another chance 'cause you didn't know. Now, OctoCan can do anything!

Riptizoid101
offline
Riptizoid101
6,302 posts
1,850

53. Stealing

Ever tried to steal something, but just got caught every time? Well just open an OctoCan and watch the little critter pickpocket everybody! You'll never run out of things to use!

54. Trusty Friends

Don't have friends you can rely on? Just open an OctoCan, and he'll always keep your dearest secrets. In fact, it'll always be behind you! Oh OctoCan Can do anything!

Runescape124
offline
Runescape124
3,028 posts
85

55. Librarean

Need a break from your job at the library? Pop open a can of OctoCan, and you can sit back and relax, while your "replacement" handles 8 bratty kids at once!!!

aamer13
offline
aamer13
2,576 posts
70

56: Spam Killer

you hate Spam? well octocan can help. squirt on your monitor and spam will dissolve.

Octocan is not responsible for any damagae to your monitor.

CommanderPaladin
offline
CommanderPaladin
1,538 posts
185

56. Bow
Okay, so you just finished wrapping the perfect gift for someone, and it looks great except... it needs a bow. And you don't have any. What to do? Open up the OctoCan! When perched on top of the gift, your octopus will look just like a bow! And with everything else that OctoCan can do, it's the gift that keeps on giving too!

CommanderPaladin
offline
CommanderPaladin
1,538 posts
185

Wow, looks like this thread just got it's first ninja! Make mine #57 then.

aamer13
offline
aamer13
2,576 posts
70

58: Ninjad!

you get ninjad alot? well relese some octocan into the wild and it will hunt down your ninjader and start stabbing him with a knife and--- i mean turn off his computer!

Riptizoid101
offline
Riptizoid101
6,302 posts
1,850

Wow, looks like this thread just got it's first ninja! Make mine #57 then.


I wouldn't say first. Look back on the first page of this thread. There are two number 6. But hey, at least your second.
ichigo773
offline
ichigo773
1,089 posts
20

59: Forum Typer

Are you sick of typing up useless forums? Are your fingers so sore they start to bleed? Well octocan can help! It has 8 arms so its typing four different articles at once! Warning: The octocan is not responsible for any deaths that occur in the process of typing

CommanderPaladin
offline
CommanderPaladin
1,538 posts
185

Wow, looks like this thread just got it's first ninja! Make mine #57 then.

I wouldn't say first. Look back on the first page of this thread. There are two number 6. But hey, at least your second.


So it is. My fail.

60. Tele-marketer Control.
Tired of getting called right at dinnertime by some schmuck hell-bent on making you buy the latest insurance policy? OctoCan to the rescue! Just release the octopus and give him the phone. The constant little bubbling and squishing sounds he emits will confound your problem caller and quite possibly make their head explode too!
Chryosten
online
Chryosten
15,585 posts
6,070

61. Gloves

Hate the cold? Keep falling over because you keep shoving your hands into your pockets? Octocan is the answer to your problems! Just place them on your hands and you'll be free from the cold. Also, you have the added bonus of having eight fingers with each octopus gloves.

xAyjAy
offline
xAyjAy
4,854 posts
2,665

62. umbrella and propeller

you dont have an umbrella and its raining? OctoCan is what you need! just open a can and put the lil helper on a stick. he moves so fast that no rain drop hits you, you fly, too!

63. companionship

feeling lonely? nobody want to be your friens? or do you need a date? open a can of OctoCan, and you will never be alone again!

Showing 46-60 of 348