There are lots of excellent endings to this one. Last words of a chemist: ... and now for the taste test.

Oh no. Thats terrible, but funny!

Chemistry student:
"Professor what should I do with this Nitro glycerine bottle?"

Distracted professor: " Throw it here."
:O

Lab worker: "I safely strapped the zombie to the table, he's trying to say something but I can't hear, I'll get closer, still can't hear, I lean over."

that was the last entry in his journal. xD

What do you call a policeman?
>>Copper.

What do you call a funny criminal?
>>Silicon.

What do you do with dead scientists?
>>Barium.

What is the fattest element?
>>Americium.

What is the most snobbish of elements?
>>Francium.

What do you get when you split a Holmium atom?
>>Hafnium.

I opened a a jar of what I thought was peanut butter, instead it was full of lead.

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?
because if you cant helium or curium, you barium.

"i" before "e" except after "c" has been disproved by science.

As kids in a parallel universe where the story fits the timeline;
little Newton, Einstein and Pascal played hide-and-seek.
When it was Einstein's turn to search the two others, he couldn't see hidden Pascal, but he quickly found Newton, because he just stood there in front of him, only having drawn a square around his feet. When Einstein told him that he successfully found him, Newton denied: "No my dear Albert, it's not me who you found. You found 1 Newton per square meter, which means you found one Pascal."

Most of these are just puns but still funny ^_^

How often do I make science jokes? Answer:Periodically.

A physicist, a biologist and a chemist go to the beach one sunny day. Once there, the physicist looks out at the ocean and says, "Wow, what an excellent opportunity to study wave mechanics!". He heads out in to the water, gets caught in a rip tide and promptly drowns.

the Biologist looks out at the ocean and says, "Wow, what an excellent opportunity to study the under water ecosystem!" The biologist also wades out into the water and drowns.

The chemist sees this, thinks for a moment, then pulls out his notebook and writes "Physicists and Biologists are soluble in water"

If the mass of the object is 705 kg and the acceleration is .42 m/sec squared, how many Newtons would it take to complete the equation?
Answer: Just one - I imagine he could have found the answer on his own.

What is the most revolutionary element?
Answer: Francium.