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The man who pooped in the toilet.

Posted Mar 4, '12 at 3:34pm

acmed

acmed

1,921 posts

Once upon a time a man pooped in the toilet. The poop started to grow and grow, until it turned into a 50 foot poop monster. Then it ate everyone in the city. The local officials didn't know what to do, so they gave it a tree. A man said hi. The poop got mad and threw its tree at it. Then he died. Everyone laughed because nobody liked that man, not even his family. Then all of a sudden another poop monster appeared. It was a female. Then they started to make out. Poop saliva started getting everywhere, so the two moon walked back into the ocean. Then another poop monster came, it was a his cousin. He realized that he was making out with his ex-girlfriend. He got jealous. The two poop cousins started to wrestle, until they mashed together and made one poop. They started to eat each other. Both of them died, leaving the female poop in a traumatized state. Then another poop monster came, it was his uncle.
    “Where's my son?” He asked. The girl poop monster then came up to him and they started to make out. He was completely unaware that his son was dead. All of a sudden his son appeared. He was back from the dead, and killed his dad who was kissing the love of his life. Then he walked with her into the sunset. She then started to turn into a werewolf and ate the cousin. Then she walked for miles and finally found the love of her life, it was a girl werewolf. She was a lesbian all along, but was too afraid to tell anybody. They started to make out and later they got married and had two kids named Superman and Koku.
    But one night in there house in Seattle, the police broke in and arrested them both, because gay marriage wasn't legal there. The two kids then went to go get them, but on the way there they got shot, they died. The two homosexual werewolves died of being too gay in jail. Then a poop monster went to the drug store to get some mountain dew. When he heard a scream from outside: The space cats were attacking again. They bit his face off and the doctor said he could never eat again. It was okay because feces have no way of digesting food anyways. In only a couple days he died of starvation. Now, his brother Pikachu was on a mission to bring vengeance on the evil space cats for killing his brother.
    One night he snuck out of his toilet, it was 2 am and he was ready to get revenge on the evil space cats. He put on his urine generated jet pack and flew to the planet of Butt Poopia, home of the space cats. First he took a pit stop the drug store to get mountain dew, he would need it to stay awake while fighting against the space cats. He burped and then left again. Finally he reached Butt Poopia and found his arch enemy the king space cat, Oobi Woobi. He sent the first wave of brown space cats to fight off Pikachu, but they were defeated easily. Pikachu used his main weapon: the lightning bolt. He screamed P-I-K-A-C-H-U! He fired at all the space cats and blew everyone up. He finally defeated the space cats. Victory! Him and his family all celebrated.
    But suddenly, he got struck by a red stream of lightning. As he lay on the ground bewildered, he realized he was the chosen one. He heard a voice say “Pikachu, I choose you!”. He didn't know what happened, so he ignored it and went to bed. He couldn’t sleep so he walked up to the drug store and got more mountain dew. The store clerk looked up to him and said, “Why didn't you answer my call Chosen One?”. Pikachu was so scared, he punched him in the face, took his mountain dew, and ran to the door.
    Then Pikachu went back into the drug store and said “Oh I forgot to pay for the mountain dew.”. The man admired his honesty and scanned the delicious soda drink. Pikachu ran after he got the receipt. He ran so far and so quick that suddenly he went into a whole different dimension, it was where the past, present, and future all came together. The store clerk was still there, except this time, he was black. A man came up to him and said “I used to be a woman”. Pikachu paused and walked away slowly from the man. He started to look around and saw really creepy things. He saw babies the size of dinosaurs and adults the size of ants. He started throwing rocks at the giant babies and stepped on the ant-like adults. He started to run for a while, after a long time he started to get hungry and wondered where a good place to eat was.
    He ran to the nearest resturant named s'yedneW. He got a double rotanocaB . It was delicious. Then he walked to the cashier and paid her. Well that’s what he realized, it had two heads and a butt the size of a 100 inch flat screen TV. He ran out the door to find the clerk at the drug store. He was black. “Hey can I have a dollar” Pickachu said. The black clerk stared at him like he was insane, “Aren't you gonna ask questions to me? Let's say... Am I really the Chosen One?” He asked.
    “No.” He replied. “I just want to buy mountain dew, I’m thirsty.”
    The clerk couldn't stand him anymore, so he shot him and the rest of the other dimension. And then the man who pooped in the toilet woke up. It was just a dream the whole time.

THE END.

 

Posted Mar 4, '12 at 3:35pm

acmed

acmed

1,921 posts

Sorry, that kind of glitched out. Anyways this is the story my friend and I made because we were extremely bored. I did a sentence, then he did, etc. So yeah. Enjoy.

 

Posted Mar 6, '12 at 2:50am

MegaIPOD

MegaIPOD

368 posts

I think i WTF'ed everywhere, and the fact i'm skipping school and am all alone in my house and don't know how to clean my WTF is well, creepy, i don't know how, but it is, anyways, hummm... how should i clean this? Screw that, i'll go play Skyrim.

Great literature by the way, go concentrate more on Burning Ice now.

Joke.

 

Posted Mar 19, '12 at 11:27pm

Joe96

Joe96

2,288 posts

My top 3 responses/reactions:

1)  I will take 10 kilos of whatever you're on.
2)  You are an inspired novelist from the future who is stuck thousands of years in the past
3)  My goodness, I'm never going to the bathroom again!

 

Posted Mar 29, '12 at 3:38pm

sirmed2

sirmed2

156 posts

I'm- I don't know what to say, I'm laughing so hard, mostly at the story, but I agree with Joe, I NEED to know what you're taking. XD

 

Posted Mar 29, '12 at 4:16pm

jkl3848

jkl3848

242 posts

It was gross, random, stupid, and weird. I don't know if I liked it or not.

 

Posted Mar 31, '12 at 3:43am

frodo86

frodo86

110 posts

But one night in there house in Seattle, the police broke in and arrested them both, because gay marriage wasn't legal there.

Wrong, gay marriage is legal in Seattle!

 

Posted Mar 31, '12 at 11:00pm

wakyswag

wakyswag

172 posts

agreeing with joe,
Sharing is Caring :D
dude, wow. what are you on? jk
i think its like the ol' Captain Underpants books.
BTW: only one person has gotten a newbeary award for childrens books while in his history HE WENT TO JAIL FOR DRUG SMUGGLING slightly eh dont know if it was any good.

 

Posted Apr 1, '12 at 11:12am

Tobisper

Tobisper

403 posts

Uhm I didn't even read the story but from reading the comments I guess its stupid.

 

Posted Apr 3, '12 at 6:30pm

kevin8ye

kevin8ye

514 posts

what i thought at the first sentance:

WTF!?!?!?!?!

 
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