Forums → The Tavern → Blond Jokes
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Post your favorite blond joke.
I am blond so this thread is not stereotyping.
I'll start it off.
A blond walks int a hairdressers and sits down for a haircut. The hairdresser said,"You have to take those headphones off if you want your hair cut". "No No", the blond replied,"My doctor says that if I take them off that I will die". The hairdresser decided to just leave the situation and cut around the headphone. After a couple of months of the blond returning to the hairdresser, the hairdresser became more and more curious as to why the blond needs to wear the headphones. One day she just pulled them off of her. The blond calapsed on the floor. Before the hairdresser went to help the blond she takes a quick listen to the headphones. There was a mans voice saying "breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out" over and over again
- 32 Replies
ok,
Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have noticed!
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are driving in the desert during summer when their car breaks down. They have to leave the car and walk to the nearest town to get help. The redhead says:
'I'll take the water bottle, that way if I get thirsty I can just drink'
The brunette says:
'I'll take the emergency water supplies, for the same reason.'
The Blonde says:
'Well, I will take the car door.'
Puzzled, the others ask why.
The blonde replies:
'So if I get hot, I can wind the window down.'
I have more! But not now...!
A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly.
As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.
He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it!
The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away.
He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said,
"I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold.
I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!"
A Redhead,Brunette,and Blonde girl are stuck in a room with a magic mirror. The mirror will let you out of the room if you tell a true statement, but if you lie, you're sucked into the mirror, never to return. The brunette says, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world!" The mirror just laughs and sucks her in. The redhead says the same thing, and is sucked in. The Blonde comes up to the mirror and says,"I think-" and the mirror sucks her in.
Well, Usually 'Blond jokes' are usually about blond girls, which I think is a bit cruel and sad. But If you like it, Who cares.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all sentenced to be killed by a firing squad. When the Brunette comes up, the commander says, "ready, aim..." then the girl interupts shouting, "TORNADO!" everybody turns around and looks and she gets away. Then the redhead comes up, "ready, aim..." "FLOOD!" everybody looks and she gets away. Then the blonde comes up, "ready, aim....." "FIRE!!!!"
Okay, here it goes...
There were three people trapped on an island. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead. After talking with each other, they decide that they will swim to the shore, 6 miles away. The brunette swims a mile, but she has to come back. "I got too tired" she explained. So the redhead gave it a try. She swims two miles, but has to come back with the same explination. So the blonde starts to swim. She swims 5 miles, but then she turns around and swims back. "What happenend?" asked the brunette. "I got too tired, so I swam back." replies the blonde.
To psprocks, the first two jokes are stupid, the third one is okay, and the fourth, fifth, and sixth ones are hilarious.
Ok heres a male blonde joke:
Three construction workers(a black man, a hispanic man, and a blonde man) were working on a skyscraper in New York. It was the lunch break and the three opened up their lunch boxes to eat while sitting on the eightieth floor.
The black man opened up his lunchbox and sighed, "I hate ham sandwhiches. I wish my wife would pack me chicken wings not this stupid sandwhich all the time!"
The hispanic man opened up his lunch box and found a turkey sandich. "I hate turkey.I wish my wife would pack me some tacos."
The blonde man opened up his lunch box and sighed, "I hate hamburgers. I wish my wife would pack me a chicken salad."
The next day it's time for lunch again and again they all sit on the eightieth floor to eat their lunch.
The black man opened up his lunchbox and sighed, "I hate ham sandwhiches. I wish my wife would pack me chicken wings not this stupid sandwhich all the time! If my wife packs me a ham sandwhich again tommorow I'm going to jump!"
The hispanic man opened up his lunch box and found a turkey sandwhich. "I hate turkey.I wish my wife would pack me some tacos. If my wife packs me a turkey sandwhich again tommorow I'm going to jump too!"
The blonde man opened up his lunch box and sighed, "I hate hamburgers. I wish my wife would pack me a chicken salad. I'm with you guys. If my wife packs me a hamburger I'm going to jump."
The next day came and it was time for lunch again and they all sat in their usual places on the eightieth floor.
The black man opened up his lunchbox and sighed, "Well she packed me a ham sandwhich again so I'm jumping." With that he threw himself over the ledge and plummited to his death.
The hispanic man opened up his lunch box and found a turkey sandich. "I hate turkey. Well I guess I'm jumping too." With that he threw himself over the ledge and plummited to his death.
The blonde man opened up his lunch box and sighed, "I hate hamburgers. I suppose I'm jumping too." With that he threw himself over the ledge and plummited to his death.
A week later after the threes funerals the mourning widows gathered around in a circle. The black and hispanic's wifes were histarical but the blonde's wife was just staring down at the ground.
The black man's wife sobbed, "If I had only known he wanted chicken wings I would have packed them for him."
The hispanics man's wife cried, "If I had only known he wanted tacos I would have packed them for him."
The blonde man's wife looked up and said bewildered, "I don't understand... My husband packed his own lunch."
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