This is part one of two for all entries before December. I wasn't expecting more than a few entries for December, so this part will be posted first and December later.
CLICKETY CLACK
I hear him knocking at my back
Clickety clack
I hear mocking at my back
Clickety clack
I always sit here with this knack
Clickety clack
To do whats happ'ning
only that.
Clicket clack
One and more we start to stack
Clickety clack
Side to side, and front to back.
Played again like an endless track.
One more time, and I fade to black.
Clickety clack
Clickety clack.
Working warehouse or backroom job stacking boxes with a micromanager or safety compliance officer writing up evaluations by clicky pen or perhaps keyboard. I love the image of repetitiveness here in an inkjet printer-like fashion or something machinelike as in an assembly line. I am unsure of the apostrophe in the seventh line or why it's split. The rhythm is wobbly and breaks in lines 7, 13, and 14. This could be a great poem if it were more polished.
BOLD
She has calm and beautiful eyes as a full moon.
Her smile is warm as the morning sun.
Her heart is clear like the morning dew.
Girlfriend.
This doesn't seem to be relevant to the theme "Bold". Co7mparisons to the moon, sun, and morning dew are cliched. The ideas of warm smiles and beautiful eyes are also cliche. There aren't any strong images here.
QUEST
I want to be the very best, like to one ever was.
To locate them is my real quest, to earn them is my cause.
I will travel across the site searching far and wide.
Teach Armor Games to understand the power that's inside.Armor Games, it's you and me. I know it's my destiny.
Armor Games, you're my best friend on a site we must defend.
Armor Games, a theme that's true. Our gaming will pull us through.
You quest me and I'll quest you.
Armor Games! Gotta earn them all! Gotta earn them all...
Every quest along the way, with courage I will face.
I will earn them every day to claim my rightful place.
Come with me. The time is right. There's no better theme.
Arm in arm, we'll earn the quests. It's always been our dream.
Armor Games, it's quests and me. I know it's my questiny.
Armor Games, you're my quest friend, on a site we must defend.
Armor Games, a quest that's true. Our questing will pull us through.
You quest me and I'll quest quest.
Quest quest quest.
Gotta quest quest questing quests.
This is largely a parody of the Pokemon theme song. Even as a parody, this is mostly material from the original source. The changes aren't that different either, except there is less rhyming than the original, but the meter works the same as the original.
Going on a epic walk
destroy up some jerks dumb *** ring
haters come steal dat bling
Comedic and simple but it's kind of like the plot to The Lord of the Rings. It doesn't show so much as it tells, though. Maybe that in itself is commentary on the superficial nature of such endeavors, particularly ones in MMOs.
The men took up arms
From lands afar
They swore by their blood
And steel their blades
However as time fades
There came a flood
No man was left ajar
as they died in open armsAll this for some land
A small barren land
Not a tree in sight
It was a blight
All those bodies
Left for nobodie
I like the rhyme scheme here and the change in spelling of nobodie. I also enjoy the consonance in the rhyme scheme from blood > blade > fade > flood. This use of ajar is not common and sticks out, though. Grammatically, this needs punctuation, and the tense does not agree in lines 5 and 6.
UNREQUITED
Oh, but you are vain,
With a match in your hand and
A flower between your lips!Tell me the truth!
Tell me what it is you want from them!
Tell me that you are vain and
That the sun is not enough!
Oh, unrequited life, unrequited
Death, unrequited birth between your breast,
For vanity and greed come with want--
Come with spurn.
You were never my child.
Absolutely love the meter and the pacing here. There is emotion. There is oomph to the punctuation. One line flows into the next. You cna feel the edge of the words that cut. It encapsulates a sense of spurn.
a smile and step, and down the aisle
a listless gaze and all the while
you’d see the sun but not the dawn
and by the time the red is gone
that gaze has turned to milky glass
gilded, turned to grey-black ash
Good color imagery and rhythm and rhyme with this entry. It sets up a scene at a wedding, perhaps lavish, with whites, reds, golds, and blacks. There is a mixing of these colors as the gold ring is put on the bride in the white dress that unified with the groom's black tuxedo to a smear of gray.
NOVEMBER
A month to be recalled
For what, it's beauty?
A tricky month I seem to overlookDo great oaks spring up then?
Does time pass just the same as all the rest?
Snow doesn't fall that often
I guess November's just a gentle month,
Not like the cackle of October or the bitter shake of December
Not like the revelrous newness of January
There is a contrast here between autumn, winter, and spring with the nebulous nature of one of those in between months that aren't as strongly associated to a season. It shows an uncertainty in answering the question "What is November?"
November, I'm a Member. Eating turkey, in a hurry. I'm going to be late for my meeting. Gotta go, quickly. We have joy, Turkeys have death. To praise the awesome month of November. Giving thanks, to all who brought, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving. In the month of November. there is joy, there is death. all the death might actually be worth it. To praise the awesome month of November. And when the day comes, Thursday, November 27. It's time to celebrate, while they are running. Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving. In the month of November.
This starts off well showing urgency and haste in the hustle and bustle of daily life, but in the middle it loses a sense of itself with longer sentences that don't seem to add to the sense of motion or slowing down. Instead, it just gets lost in a chain of thoughts that repeats itself.
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The winning entries belong to Darkfire45 (Theme: Quest) and Isigna (Theme: Unrequited). Congratulations on your shiny new quests.
Since there is some interest in continuing this, the next theme is New Beginnings due January 24th, 2015. If there aren't enough entries this round, then it will be the last round.
