Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Official Poetry Contests - Theme: Sunshine (Due: May 31)

The winners are @MattEmAngel for his sports haiku and @Ernie15 for his tripping poem.

The next theme is Green. You have until the end of this month.

Al other stuff up to this point will be posted some time this week. Maybe even today.

All I see is green.
Rapidly, it moves closer.
Hex'd cord still won't pull.

Okay, so I keep losing whatever I have in the judgment. Next time I'm saving to the cloud to save myself the trouble. What I have here is what I have.

THEME: SPORTS

I often wake up after the midnight
To watch my favorite Football teams fight
I cooked Noodle and turn on the TV
Champions League airing in the quiet of the predawn

Spectators screams and singing their favorite anthem
While the teams entered the field in confidence
The referee blow the whistle and the game are begin
Teamwork and strategy are blend in a beautiful game

There is nothing quite like staying up late or waking up early to watch your favorite team of your favorite sport playing an important game.

Sports are kinda cool,
But I've never tried them out
(Except racquetball).

What I like about this is that it encapsulates a noncommittal answer that overall just shows ambivalence to sports in general without outright stating "I don't care about sports."

No one can make me do it
I'll never play a game inside
I'd rather stay outside and be
Kicking the ball with pride
They always told me the way to live
Was with TV and video games
But I found my own way of living without
And they all look upon me like dames.

Who is the "they" who always told you that the way to live was with TV and video games? "dames" at the end of the poem sounds forced and awkward.

Grass beneath my feet,
Fans cheering as I run, and--
Curse this wicked mud.

It doesn't matter what the sport is. Slipping in a sport played on a grassy field is no fun, especially in front of cheating fans.

Javelin, shot put
so much to choose
sports day again
Don't want to loose

Running, jumping
Fourth up to three
three more events
On a winning spree

Gymnastics, swimming
One last event
My time's here again
but my energy's spent

Cycling for gold
to put us on top
the finish was close
My heart nearly stopped

The photo showed all
by the smallest of space
I lost to my friend
and we won second place.

"Lose" is spelled incorrectly in the fourth line. The meter is iffy in the last lines, but I don't know if that was intentional to show a change in excitement or heart rate. This poem might also be better with more consistent punctuation, especially at the end of the lines, instead of just one period at the end of the entire poem.

THEME: TRIPPING

Gazing at the clouds
Turns to bleeding on the ground
Uneven pavement

The folly of not paying attention to where you are going and tripping over something so simple as uneven pavement! That is one very hard trip (or one very lost mind) where the speaker doesn't even brace for impact.

As I look at the sky
Watching the plane,
I feel the wind picking up

Once, twice, three times
I feel the rain crashing down
Feeling the anger in the clouds

Running away to home
Keeping pace of the rain
Feeling the furious wind
Crying for finding of shelter
I trip and fall face down.

How can a storm come so quickly that you can watch a plane one moment and then be stuck in a torrential downpour? Perhaps it was a very very angry storm. The narrative here feels odd to me, going from looking at a plane to running away from a furious storm.

Flat on my face
"Enjoy your trip!"
That tired out joke
Before an old trick

The second line added:
"See you next fall!"
The jeering goes past
I feel nothing at all

A lifetime of mocking
Now a hole in a place
In my trousers, my palms
What a disgrace

But what once was my weakness;
To stumble, and fall
Is now put on the stage
To the delight of all.

I did not see that twist coming. This is a different approach than the other entries. I am unsure of the meter here. It seems at odds with the content.

I`m all to finish
Until I finally learn
My laces are out.

The grammar here is hindering my understanding of this haiku, but I think I get the gist of it. This is possibly a race and the laces have come undone and the runner trips before the finish line.

An evening stroll in Central Park,
A warm, midsummer night;
A vase of tulips in the left,
And vino in the right.

What's this? A tree branch? I know not,
Caught like a fish, my foot,
Stops dead as I continue on,
My balance now kaput.

The world around me swivels up,
The wall of asphalt nears,
My firm grip tightens on the glass,
I grasp my greatest fears.

My hands, committed, now my foes,
For they've brought on the end,
My nose and teeth, so innocent;
Why punish trusting friends?

A sacrifice must now be made,
It's either they or I,
The tulips must face injury,
The pinot noir must die.

The tightened grip relaxes, as
My hands begin to shift,
But fail to situate themselves,
For they are not so swift.

The Earth is but an inch away,
A million-dollar view;
And with my final, painless breath,
I bid my nose adieu.

Spilled wine, bruised tulips, broken glass,
A smashed ceramic vase;
How may I prize an evening stroll
When I'm flat on my face?

I like the rhyme and the rhythm here. The rhythm complements the humor well, like the telling of a joke, even if the rhythm is a bit off in some places.

I play this game,
It's rather tame,
With Kermit and The Grinch.
And when we play,
On Paddy's Day,
It's really quite a cinch.

We take our strokes,
And artichokes
Are eaten in good time.
I slice the ball,
And as it falls,
I chew a slice of lime.

Grinch takes a look,
His shot, he hooks
And misses by a lot.
And as he fails,
He gnaws some kale,
As Kermit takes his shot.

A swing, a miss.
Asparagus
Goes into Kermit's mouth.
He powers through
A honeydew,
And drives our cart due south.

We chase the frog
Into the fog
Around the clover field,
But clubs in hand,
And cress so bland,
The Muppet still won't yield.

We start to throw
Pistachios
Which we had shelled in bulk.
The tiny stuff
Is not enough.
We have to call the Hulk.

He grabs the nine,
Uproots a pine
And throws them at the cart.
And as it stops
And Kermit flops,
He charges like a dart.

He smacks him with
A granny smith
The scene is quite obscene.
And to the lout,
The frog yells out,
"It's easy being mean!"

The Grinch and I,
We say goodbye
And finish up our game.
And while we flee,
We sip mint tea.
I guess it's not so tame.

Next theme will probably be Mosquitoes!

Leprechauns about,
dressed in green coats, hats, and slacks;
inducing mischief!

Welcoming torture,
by sauntering through a park.
Devilish creature!

Its never resting,
persistent through life's broad course.
Bloody little bug.

Last two themes will probably be out tomorrow or this weekend.

Stupid mosquito
Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz
Get out of my ear!

Judgment for the last two themes.

Theme: Ferret

A cage in a pet shop,
Brown eyes staring back.
One set caught mine,
So I bought the Jack.

Got him home,and safe,
Settled in his nest.
Fed and watered, rested,
Treated him the best.

Thought the teeth of razor,
And the feline body cool.
Such a wily character,
My handsome little fool.

Until one day a hunting,
He caught a leveret.
Come of age my darling,
My noble,handsome "FRIEND"

I like the story, but this could have also been about a cat, since they also nest, have a feline body, and teeth of razor.

The pain it must cause
To replace a fuzzy leg
With a crown of gold.

I love the humor in this one. What folly it may be to have a crown instead of a leg. Some things won't be perfect and may require a sacrifice.

I walked into the shop
Pride in step
And force in hand
Like a castle of sand

I look at the cages
One a cat
The next a canary
But I had to be wary

Sister was watching
And she told me exactly
Her choice of pet
I`d need more to get

But I seem to forget
Things I should not
It was on the tip
I let it slip

What was the animal
Of Mabellia`s choice?
Was it peaceful or weaselly?
How did I lose it so easily?

A few of these lines are confusing to me. I don't understand how "pride in step and force in hand" relate to a sand castle. And what is "I'd need more to get" referring to?

A rodent they said;
not good for much
but he's so cute
and soft to the touch.

Mother cries out;
"get that away,
that long, skinny rat!"
I frown in dismay.

Dad rushes out, calling;
"What's all this noise?"
he rushes to catch him,
with one of the boys.

Sister arrives
"It may have some flees"
She's watching the chaos
and laughing with glee.

They are all fools,
and they can not see
not rodent, but mustelid
and not covered in flees.

a dearest companion;
clever, and sleek
If I run away,
a business I'll seek.

The animation of responses is amusing. You really get a sense of family dynamics. The mother and sister don't want to touch it. The father and a brother are trying to catch it. And the speaker is just fascinated and wants more. The use of "mustelid" and "business" cements this idea. Also, FYI, "Fleas" is spelled incorrectly.

Theme: Green

All I see is green.
Rapidly, it moves closer.
Hex'd cord still won't pull.

Parachutes have their perils. The second line could be reworded in a way that it does not require the adverb at all and puts more oomph behind rapidly moving.

I play this game,
It's rather tame,
With Kermit and The Grinch.
And when we play,
On Paddy's Day,
It's really quite a cinch.

We take our strokes,
And artichokes
Are eaten in good time.
I slice the ball,
And as it falls,
I chew a slice of lime.

Grinch takes a look,
His shot, he hooks
And misses by a lot.
And as he fails,
He gnaws some kale,
As Kermit takes his shot.

A swing, a miss.
Asparagus
Goes into Kermit's mouth.
He powers through
A honeydew,
And drives our cart due south.

We chase the frog
Into the fog
Around the clover field,
But clubs in hand,
And cress so bland,
The Muppet still won't yield.

We start to throw
Pistachios
Which we had shelled in bulk.
The tiny stuff
Is not enough.
We have to call the Hulk.

He grabs the nine,
Uproots a pine
And throws them at the cart.
And as it stops
And Kermit flops,
He charges like a dart.

He smacks him with
A granny smith
The scene is quite obscene.
And to the lout,
The frog yells out,
"It's easy being mean!"

The Grinch and I,
We say goodbye
And finish up our game.
And while we flee,
We sip mint tea.
I guess it's not so tame.

I enjoy the silliness of the poem, similar to the one from the Tripping theme. One gripe is that the image of charging like a dart doesn't work. Darts don't charge. Darts dart. There's a verb for it. Charging is more for something larger, like the Hulk. Darting is for something smaller, like a hummingbird.

Leprechauns about,
dressed in green coats, hats, and slacks;
inducing mischief!

What I look for in a haiku is something that is more than the words that make it, but I don't see much more I can get from this than leprechauns make mischief and wear green hat and clothes.

Winners posted later.

The winners are @DrElmer and @Saphire24.

The current theme is Little Things. You have until the 30th.

Previous theme will be judged. All winners will be posted.

Is it plagiarism if I helped my dad write it for his song? :P

Entry for theme Little Things:

Pervasive atoms,
Iron of world's ornament;
Always elusive.