"If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!" â J.M. Barrie
Lately I've been reminiscing about my life so far, and it just hit me like a sledgehammer that I'm no longer a teen (or for much longer). I'm no longer going to just spend my life focusing on school (Barring college), being a rebellious emotion-ridden teen, feeling jittery during those first few dates, being wholly care-free, letting my parents do all the eventual worrying; I'm going to have to do everything for myself. After all these years wanting to get older, I'm regretting it, I want to get back to my sweet sixteen!
For the rest of you though, what does it feel like for you to grow up, or for those who are older, feel like to be grown up?
Growing up? Never going to happen to me. But to be honest it hasn't happened yet anyways, and it probably won't happen in a while. I wouldn't know but it would probably just be like "Look at all these bills I have". Then crying until you sink into depression then start taking hard drugs.
I remember when I was maybe 18 or 19, the thought just flashed across my mind that I was about to start the rest of my life. That was a moment I'll never forget. I was so used to being sheltered from the real world that the idea of actually being a part of that world came as a shock to me, and the fact that it came as a shock to me came as a shock to me, because I had thought about being an adult more often than not at that time, but it never crossed my mind that it would be so much different from what I was used to.
Being an adult isn't so bad. You'll find out soon that, while childhood and teenhood sparked some great memories, they aren't anything that you'll ever want to go through again.
Am I glad I'm an adult? Arguably. As in, I've argued with myself about this in the past. Do I wish I were younger? No. It wasn't any better then. It wasn't any worse. Why turn back time just to waste the same time you've already wasted?
I'm probably not the best example of what growing up is like. Not everyone ends up with depression, bipolar disorder, alcoholism, social awkwardness, lactose-intolerance, apparent nihilism, and other hackneyed excuses that keep you from being a contributive member of society.
Not everyone ends up with depression, bipolar disorder, alcoholism, social awkwardness, lactose-intolerance, apparent nihilism, and other hackneyed excuses that keep you from being a contributive member of society.
Hey, at 4 out of 6 you may not be quite as alone as might seem
Nich, I don't know. I must have said before that this future point of "growing up," in my experience at least, tends to get postponed ever further, to the point of meaninglessness. Maybe it becoming so is a sign of maturity
(Then of course and to state the necessary obvious, age really â maturity.)
Well... I'm not a teenager yet, but I feel like I've lost my childhood. See 'Childhood Memories'. And it makes me want to cry sometimes, thinking about what I've lost.
I know I most definitely have not "grown up" yet, but I'm kind of excited about it. Not about being an actual adult, but the options that are now available to me since getting out of high school and getting into college and stuff are really exciting. Sure there is a crap load of responsibility and a high level of bull**** you have to put up with when you get older, but I'll deal with that when I get there.
I'm glad I'm not a child anymore. Sure, sometimes I sit down and wish for the days where I was told what to do and I didn't have to make any decisions for myself but that's just because it was easier. I could blame "the system" on my unhappiness. Now I am responsible for most of my actions and while that can really suck sometimes, it is also a very great thing.
I'm in that magical region where I have to start making life decisions and making them soon, because if I don't I'll be stranded in my senior year of high school without any plan of where to go. And I don't even know what I want to DO yet. Some people have that epiphany one day where they suddenly sit up and are like "I want to be xxxxx when I grow up!" And then they have their plan and stick to it, and eventually get there or get stuck with a reasonably safe piece of life that isn't what they imagined but it works well enough for them. I haven't had that magic moment. The things I'm good at aren't going to advance me in life. Unless I get really really good at graphic design or piano or writing, nothing awaits me in that part of my future. I'll admit it. My graphic designing skills have room for improvement. And it's not all that important to me, but it's the only thing I'm interested in right now that could actually get me a job. Piano won't. Art...well, I'm not a super great artist, and they don't make much money off of it anyway. And writers as well, on the off chance they become super popular and generate a big enough income to live on...I'd like that life. But it's probably not going to happen to me. And that's about it. For a person with an exciting (or so I like to think) personality, there doesn't seem to be that many options open to me. I'll spend forever worrying about what the hell I'll do when I have to pick what college I want to go to. I want to go to NCSU, but I don't think I'll be able to make it there because I won't have the credentials or whatever. I'm just not "living up to my full potential" as my mom says all the time. I mean, I haven't even spent the time to look up all the places I could go for colleges. I know nothing about NCSU, aside from I had summer camp there once and some sort of science thing I used to go to but don't now. Do I need band? School clubs? What kind of after school activities do I need? And that doesn't matter to me either, because I don't do after school activities. The orchestra is always open, but not to those good at piano. All those stringed instruments, and no room for me. And I really despise sports. I see no purpose in them. The other clubs at my school don't interest me. I've tried out a few of them, but I don't fit into a language club or a religious club or Zumba club or writing club or Public Speaking club. I'm not very good at being social outside of the internet, either, so going there is mostly just awkwardly sitting while people who've been to the club before are talking to each other and talking about things that happened earlier and just talking. I don't even know what they talk about, but I haven't been blessed with those skills. I don't keep up-to-date on Facebook or Twitter or whatever TV show they talk about, and it's like I've been cut out of a loop. I do try to get in other activities to beef up my (short) list of accomplishments, like, for example, YOUTH COUNCIL. My god do I hate youth council. A bunch of people I don't know sit in a room and discuss things and I'm out of the loop again because I can't make friends easily. Plus, we don't even do exciting things. They talk and talk and talk about things they did last time or trips they went on that I can't go on because my parents are trying to save money after the divorce (they still yell at each other even though they live in different houses now) or if I did want to go on them, they're during school days, which is ridiculous because almost everyone there is in school still. But they manage to go, and then become closer through it. As well as that I find their personalities boring as heck. But it's a start. And this just turned into a rant about WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE. Feel free to skip it if it's your utmost desire.
