Forums → WEPR → "What are you?"

Naturalist: "We're all apes, we're all African apes, and we diverged from there."

Geneticist: "Going from that, we selected for traits that would better ourselves in our new climates. Those that remained in Africa remained genuine to how they lived best."

Psychologist: "We have to look within the mind to know who someone really is."

Before I get started, are you guys sure this isn't a sociological issue?

Psychologist: "We have to look within the mind to know who someone really is."

I clicked on the article, and I saw the headline "Seafood That Would Absolutely Terrify You In The Ocean" and I almost died.

(It's just pictures of sea creatures we eat before we catch them; the title is more interesting than the content)

Is the person that supposedly has this problem in the right or is she just down right whiney?

Considering that she selected the Other box on an online dating site, relevant questions should be expected, similar to selecting an Other box for religion. But I agree that "What is your ethnic background?" is a much better phrasing.

"The problem with this question is, for a lot of us blended people, that it doesn't have a simple answer."
...
"I am (in alphabetical order) African-American, Italian, Mexican, Native American and Swedish."

How was that not a simple answer? It shouldn't be difficult to slap that on a profile so people don't ask.

"Now, I know a lot of my Asian friends get this question because people want to know "what kind of Asian" they are."

This might be partly due to stricter cultural "guidelines" on who to marry.

"Now, I know a lot of my Asian friends get this question because people want to know "what kind of Asian" they are."

This might be partly due to stricter cultural "guidelines" on who to marry.

I don't like to be absolute with most things... I think when asked a question we should consider where the other person is coming from. They may or may not have a story similar to mine. I'd never talked to an indian person or much of any other person of any other ethnic flavor outside of Caucasian, black (my friends have maintained that "Maaaann, I aint neva been to no africa I'm black,&quotso I use that instead.), Mexican (the were all from there... so I don't wanna be too ambiguous with hispanic) a few people from the Philipines until college. So maybe I'll slip up sometimes even tho I know better and with my child like wonder I'll ask people where they're from or what their cultural/ethnic background is. I quite like getting to know about different cultures and how life is for people that live other places. It's also a bit of novel fun to meet people from all over and from all walks of life. I don't think getting excited over meeting someone who has lived in Venezuela their whole life diminishes them as a person at all.

Going to youth camps as a kid with people from all over North America (Canada included) had its fair share of similar things. People would run up to me and ask where I was from and whether I said soda, pop, coke, etc (I call them soft drinks for the general term and name the individual thing I want (coke, sprite, mt dew, etc just fyi)). There's a right way of going about it and a wrong way of going about it like I said. Maybe it really is a problem, but I think people put too much of an emphasis on being "objectified."

People ask me about my last name and assume I'm from a specific part of Alabama (I'm from Ms, btw) and associate me with every single person of that last name they've ever heard of. People with my last name are referred to as coast trash by some. When I'm asked about my name I have answered (smiling all the while) with "I'm not sure if it is french or german... I really don't know. But there seems to be a lot of us down on the gulf coast and some people refer to us as coast trash... probably b/c most of them are shrimpers and lower class people but whatever." You can choose how to approach all of your personal situations, but i feel that you're only a victim in this sort of scenario if you feel like one. I have fun with it. I know it'd get old.. explaining my last name gets old... but I don't know how bad saying "I'm a little bit of everything... like I literally have the genes from 6 different ethnicities." is.

On a completely different note... OMG IT IS FREAKING ONLINE DATING. I have several friends that talk about how all the do is get on there and mess with people. I'd be more worried about all of the other random questions/requests you get from guys on the internet than I would "What are you? What ethnicity are you?" It happens like crazy on other media places like fb.... I can only imagine what random guys you've never met would say to you when there aren't all that many consequences. Curiosity isn't inherently a bad thing and there's a difference in being rude and curious. Also, if you put an ambiguous answer to a descriptor, then people are going to ask you about why you chose other just because it's different. Putting something else down to avoid the questions is not abandoning/forsaking your other relatives.

ALSO, for anyone who knows anything about the people of the world it isn't all that uncommon for people to be PROUD of their heritage... so PROUD in fact that they'll get offended if you assume they're something else.
"hey, wanna go get pho later?"
-"the pho is that?"
"you don't know..? it's vietnamese food"
-I'M FREAKING JAPANESE! YOU JUST ASSUME THAT B/C I LOOK ASIAN TO YOU THAT WE ALL EAT THE SAME THINGS!?!? RACIST

The issue is a mine field and without knowing anything about the person it is inevitable that you step on a mine in this absurd mine field... whether you just ask them up front, you ask an innocent question, or they're apparently racist against the race you thought they were and they get livid when you didn't even know that the two groups of people had subgroups that disliked each other.


All things within context... my friend who is female and identifies as female but sometimes looks like a dude has had people walk up to her and say what are you? in a rude way... doing the same in regard to an ethnic scenario isn't any better, but it's not so bad to just be curious. I know that my weird last name is going to bring about more questions than someone with the last name of "Smith," and I don't see anything wrong with that. Maybe some of you see something wrong with the parallel with ethnicity, but I'm sure that at 20+ the person should know that they have a unique complexion that's going to catch more interest than your typical color palate.

Hyperanalyzing things doesn't do anything but get you agitated at people for doing minute things they've never even known they were doing or intended to do. Her explanation of the check box thing and the other stuff probably doesn't cross most people's minds.

I am in the Kingdom animilia, the Phylum chordata, the Class mammilia, the Order primate, the Family hominidae, the Genus homo, the Species homo sapien sapien. Otherwise known as human.

What we usually think of as race is largely arbitrary when looking at one genetically. It's often based on trivial appearances and social groupings. While we can create groupings based on genetic patterns among races, it is quite possible for a person of one race to be more genetically similar to a person from another race.

its not as bad as it is. in fact when people are interested in what i am i get pretty excited lol.

it IS annoying though when the first thing someone tells you online is "asl" as if to check if your worthy enough to talk to them. even more when its what 90% of the chatters say.

i think she just got so annoyed by that that she kind of mixed it.

just like her, i doubt there are many people with my exact ethnicity (spelled wrong?) and i know nobody who who is except me and my brother.

jewish, german, persian, afghan, russian, yugoslavian(?), israeli...

but i think its kind of cool and interesting so i really dont think theres a reason to be mad about peoples curiousity.

I don't like to be absolute with most things... I think when asked a question we should consider where the other person is coming from.

more or less... it's a lower class of vernacular. Proper English and layman vernacular are two different things. It's somewhat like text messaging abbreviations/shorthand...usually the laziest shortest way or the path of least resistance wins out over the proper way to do things.

This is where things get confusing for English as a second language folks... sometimes things get lost in translation between cultures

Shouldn't the question be "where are you from"

"What are you?" suggests that the person asking the question assumes the subject is somehow completely different to them.

maybe if taken in the literal sense with no outside context. ...It should be easier to understand when it actually happens in reality. "Wow, I've never seen your skin tone before... what are you again?" It's a not so great way of asking the question, but what they're getting at is almost painfully obvious. And considering that the online thing just begs for people's curiosity to ask the question it's almost certain that's what they'd be asking about even if they were being vague.

Why not just say a brief explanation in the bio to nip it in the bud? That'd solve half her problems

I pretty sure that I'm a human dude. That simple assertiveness of my humanity would probably horrify all the blowhard science professors around the world that want to be banana-eating monkeys that don't wipe.

I pretty sure that I'm a human dude. That simple assertiveness of my humanity would probably horrify all the blowhard science professors around the world that want to be banana-eating monkeys that don't wipe.