Forums → The Tavern → A Review On: Stilhaus Kitchens Reviews!

Are you...are you sure you don't want to give us an ad link first?

I..I can't tell if this is some awesome humor about all the kitchen review ads this site gets...or if you are drawing us in to hit us with one..

either way I love it

Now, I don't know if I should delete this thread or keep it for the humor value.

It is, however, in Support. So I'll move it to Tavern. That's a silly place.

The stilhaus I ordered was the wrong colour. Close enough? Fuchsia? How does "beige" look anything like "fuchsia"??? Your delivery team's incompetence is simply astonishing. And these cupboards! What good are cupboards if they don't open? Huh? That's the whole point of cupboards! A 20% surcharge for delivery? The supply outlet is only two blocks away from where your delivery guys dumped it -- AND dragged it through the garden, crushing my would-be-prize-winning begonias and breaking the water meter. You said the return policy is void after the box is opened. Well, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN IT UNTIL IT'S OPEN. Really, how hard is it to retape a box? What kind of idiot would fall for that ridiculous gimmick? Next time I need furniture or appliances, I'll be sure to go with anything other than a stilhaus!

That concludes my review of Stilhaus Kitchens.

are you sure you don't want to give us an ad link first?

Seems the adverts are getting smart.

Just watch them paraphrase that to

"The stilhaus I ordered was ... simply astonishing."
"The supply outlet is only two blocks away"
"What kind of idiot would ... go with anything other than a stilhaus!"

Also, just after I bought mine, I slipped on the floor, decked myself on the counter, and broke seven of my teeth.

Man... I've ordered my kitchens (yes, several) a few weeks ago and they STILL haven't been delivered?!

So I called Stillhaus to ask about this huge delay and the lady that picked up the phone said it was an unfortunate chain of events that involved
- a half-eaten sandwich,
- a paperclip,
- an indoor plant,
- a roll of tape,
- a plastic cup of coffee,
- a waste bin,
- pigeon poop,
- an office chair,
- a window and
- a computer monitor...

Then she laughed... and hung up the phone! Wut?! (oO)

How's that for service and delivery? >

Man... I've ordered my kitchens (yes, several) a few weeks ago and they STILL haven't been delivered?!

Last Wednesday I bought my new kitchen from a competent supplier. Well, when I say "bought", I mean I signed the papers, wrote a cheque, and everything, but...I'm not sure if the purchase applies now that the furniture outlet has exploded. Police suspect it was arson, but it didn't seem likely for such a big company. I mean, they never even had a liquidation sale or anything.

I tried calling the main branch, but when they picked up there was just a weird...gargling sound and the connection dropped. I wasn't sure what to make of it. Then that news report yesterday on the disappearance of the company executives along with all the account records; I only caught a glimpse before the camera changed, but I swear I could see "STILH" in the gashes on the office wall, right above the weird little dent shaped like a maltese cross. What's even stranger is that one of the investigators in the background looked a lot like the stilhaus delivery guy, and he kept putting things from the scene into his pocket.

Now I suspect stilhaus has a record of my purchase, which is a bit unsettling considering how insistent they were about making another sale. There's already a box truck idling a short way down the street with what looks like the stilhaus logo under a thin layer of paint, and every now and then I see some workmen carry another big roll of linoleum out to it. I mean REALLY big. You could probably carry a step ladder or an extra guy in one of those.

Maybe there's a simple explanation to all this, though. Yeah, I'm sure it's just normal stuff. Anyway, that's my follow-up report.

This is SO much fun!!! ^^

[quote=BLK]the kitchens they make . . . compress into a Pepsi can . . . portable.[/quote]

Thank you for your wonder review of our product.

~~~Darth Caedus

So, I called them again today and an older sounding woman's voice answered the phone with a mumbling "h-helllooo?!?"... huh-wut?! ... (oO) ... okright, I immediately started to explain to her that I was calling to check up on my delivery, when she interrupted me mid-sentence with... "h-helllooo?!? Johnny?! Is-is that you son?!?" ...(oO) ... uhmm, no ma'am, I'm not Johnny... I am calling about the kitchen I ordered from Stilhaus... this is the Stilhaus main office, right? "Johnny... you are crawling around the kitchen and m-murdered some lil' mouse?! Oh-oh myyy... bad boy!!" ... yes, errr... NO! NO!! (Oo) ... *sigh* ... ma'am, this is Stilhaus? You work for Stilhaus, right? "No Johnny, you k-know that your g-grandm-mother stopped working a-ages ago... w-when you were still a little boy! You silly..." (oO)

I took a big breath and assessed the situation a bit... "Are you still there, Johnny" ... yes ma'am, I'm still here... but my name is not 'Johnny', I'm not your grandson, ok? *frown* "Who-who is this th-then?! What did you d-do to Johnny?!" ... sorry ma'am?! "I'm-I'm notifying the orderly and h-have him call the policeman!" ... (oO) ... uhmm, 'orderly' you say ma'am? Are you in a retirement home?! "Yes, you bad man... where else should I be at-at the age of 94?!" ... *94?!* ... (OO) ...errr, ma'am? ... "What?!" ... Could you possibly hand the phone to the orderly for me? I would like to talk to him, please? "He's j-just entering the room... he will t-tell you n-now! You j-just w-wait!!" ... *static sound* ... Hello? ... Hello? Anyone there? ... ..."Yes, this is Ray speaking? Who is this?" ... I quickly explained the situation to him and that I was under the impression that I called Stilhaus Kitchens' main office? ... Ray told me right away, that the 'Old Green Oak Retirement Home' recently obtained a new telephone number for Miss Jefferson after her grandson's business was moved to another location. She wanted to use this number, because she thought it was easy for her grandson to remember calling her whenever he sees '0800-KITCHEN'. We never understood this, but we hooked her up with this number 2 days ago. That's all... ... *rubbing temple* ... I think I understand the situation a little... ...right, uhmm... *sigh* ...sorry for bothering you sir! Could you please apologise to Miss Jefferson for me? I am sorry for the trouble... "No problem, I will tell her. Bye sir!" ... *distant shouting* ... "you will call the p-policeman on him Ray? He should be arrested for kidnapping my grands..." ... *click* ...

Aaaannnd, we're back to cooking on the camping stove again... *moans* ... tomorrow's a new day...
Ugh... (-.-)