I am holding a Joke compitition and the judges consist of me and worrinpeace, follow basic forum rules and every few pages i will pick a winner for each page
A blonde walks into a store and says, "I want to buy this TV." But the cashier says "We dont sell to blondes." So she went home and dyed her hair black.... Sir, I want to buy this TV." and so... I dont sell to blondes." So she goes home and dyes her hair brown... And tries again... "I WANT TO BUY THIS TV!" and he said, " Oh, well, WE DONT SELL TO BLONDES!" "HOW DO YOU KNOW IM BLONDE!?" "Because thats not a TV... Its a microwave...." DeR dEr DER!!!!!
All right, all my jokes in one post. There separated into the appropriate catagory... ____________________________________________________________
_-_-_-_Yo Momma Jokes_-_-_-_
Yo mammas so stupid, she got hitt by a parked car! Yo mommas so stupid, she threw a rock at the ground and missed! Yo mommas so fat when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming! yu mamo su stipd da see wot dis sntse (yo momma is so stupid that she wrote that sentence...) ____________________________________________________________ _-_-_-_Blonde Jokes_-_-_-_
A blonde walks into a store and says, "I want to buy this TV." But the cashier says "We dont sell to blondes." So she went home and dyed her hair black.... Sir, I want to buy this TV." and so... I dont sell to blondes." So she goes home and dyes her hair brown... And tries again... "I WANT TO BUY THIS TV!" and he said, " Oh, well, WE DONT SELL TO BLONDES!" "HOW DO YOU KNOW IM BLONDE!?" "Because thats not a TV... Its a microwave...." DeR dEr DER!!!!! ____________________________________________________________ _-_-_-_Disturbing Jokes_-_-_-_
Whats worse than Ten dead babies in a barrel? One dead baby in Ten barrels! You know how they get 'em in there? Blender! You know how we get 'em out? Nacho chips!!!!!!!!! ____________________________________________________________
Caleb I truly don't think this is going the way you want lol.
3 men were driving in their jeep and it started raining so they found a farm and asked if they could stay. The owner said yes but don't touch my daughter. They ended up getting drunk and yadda-yadda. So the next day the farmer told each of them to go pick a fruit from the feild and come back with it. The first guy picked a orange and came back. The farmer said, "Stick it up your butt and if you laugh I'll kill ya." So he stuck it up his butt and he laughed so the farmer shot him. The second guy came back with a cherry. The farmer said the same thing to him. He stuck it up his butt and laughed so the farmer shot him. In heaven the first 2 guys were chatting. The first guy said "What was so funny? It was only a cherry." So the second guy says, "Well when I bent over to stick the cherry in, I saw Fred coming back with a Watermelon."
Yeah monkey, thats not funny, I'm not mexican but that even offends me. ok here is mine.
So there are three men walking through the amazon forest and a tribe of native indians comes out of the bushes and captures them, so the indians take them back to their city/camp and bring them to their leader, once they have met the king/leader the king tells them what they have to do in order to live and that is this, (king speaking) "you must go into the jungle and bring back 10 fruits then we will tell you what to do next so the first man comes back with 10 mango's and he says "what do I have to do now to live?" and the king says "you must shove the mango's up your anus" (trying to put this in the best terms possible) so the man gets to the third mango and falls over dead the second guy comes back with blueberries and he says "what do I have to do to live?" and the king says" you must shove the blueberries up your anus" so he gets to the 9th blueberry and falls over laughing and the king says"why are you laughing?" and the man says"because I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples" LOL!!!!!!!!!!
LOL, I just read subarublue's joke, good one. Uhhh, im_the_man...THAT'S THE SAME JOKE, DIFFERENT SITUATION! but still pretty funny, just not good since you pretty much already know it =(
ANYWAYZ, it may not be increadibly funny, but it's classic:
A mushroom walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey! We don't serve your kind here." and the mushroom turns around and says, "Why not? I'm a fun guy!"
OMG, yo momma jokes and blonde jokes are not funny, they're so pointless and make no sense o_o
WAIT, sorry for the double post but srry to im_the_man, I didn't understand your post, but when I hit 'Post Your Reply', I became smarter somehow and understood it instantly o_o
MoNKeY8's joke... I don't get it, and I'm Mexican sooo....wait, I just got it. That's mean, but you know, all we mexicans do is hope fences and swim across rivers so we can work in the fields, yup, we live the life being aliens right? What's the loss???
Just remember, No one can like a Mexican! ^~^lol.
Joke:
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin turns around and says to the other muffin, "MAN! It's hot in here!" the other muffin turns around and says, "Holy *bleep* a talking muffin!"
All right, all my jokes in one post. There separated into the appropriate catagory... ____________________________________________________________ _-_-_-_Yo Momma Jokes_-_-_-_ Yo mammas so stupid, she got hitt by a parked car! Yo mommas so stupid, she threw a rock at the ground and missed! Yo mommas so fat when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming! yu mamo su stipd da see wot dis sntse (yo momma is so stupid that she wrote that sentence...) ____________________________________________________________ _-_-_-_Blonde Jokes_-_-_-_ A blonde walks into a store and says, "I want to buy this TV." But the cashier says "We dont sell to blondes." So she went home and dyed her hair black.... Sir, I want to buy this TV." and so... I dont sell to blondes." So she goes home and dyes her hair brown... And tries again... "I WANT TO BUY THIS TV!" and he said, " Oh, well, WE DONT SELL TO BLONDES!" "HOW DO YOU KNOW IM BLONDE!?" "Because thats not a TV... Its a microwave...." DeR dEr DER!!!!! ____________________________________________________________ _-_-_-_Disturbing Jokes_-_-_-_ Whats worse than Ten dead babies in a barrel? One dead baby in Ten barrels! You know how they get 'em in there? Blender! You know how we get 'em out? Nacho chips!!!!!!!!! ____________________________________________________________ courtesy of -xeden-
yo momma so fat she sat on wal mart and lowered the prices
yo momma so stupid she waited for a stop sign to say go
yo momma so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side
there is a young girl at her first wedding and she asks her mom "mommy, why is the bride in white?" and the mom said "because white is the happiest color and today is the happiest day in her life". after a while the girl turns to her mom and asks "then why is the groom in black?"
Yo momma so fat she makes Oprah look like a twig. Yo momma so fat that she could beat Chuck Norris in a fight if she sat on him. Yo momma so fat that she has 2 watches: one for each time zone.
