Forums → The Tavern → Eliminate Vegetables and Initiate Liberty!

1st. Any Plants that are deep-friend, such as okra, shall be excluded from our destruction of vegetables. The same shall be said for any veggies that 3rd or 2nd world countries need to survive, I.E. Potatoes, Rice, and Wheat. Any plants that are used to make alcoholic beverages are also excluded. Any Veggies that can be used to make deserts, such as Cocoa, Sweet Potatoes (Yams) and Sugar. [sic.]

don't lose heart against these nay sayers!

Thanks a lot @Riptizoid101 ! You are an inspiration ot us all! I will carry on with this.

1st. Any Plants that are deep-friend, such as okra, shall be excluded from our destruction of vegetables. The same shall be said for any veggies that 3rd or 2nd world countries need to survive, I.E. Potatoes, Rice, and Wheat. Any plants that are used to make alcoholic beverages are also excluded. Any Veggies that can be used to make deserts, such as Cocoa, Sweet Potatoes (Yams) and Sugar.

I'll sign it! Definitely!

Any questions?

Yeah. Who appointed you as a teacher and what do you teach? Smarty smartness?

Any Veggies that can be used to make deserts, such as Cocoa, Sweet Potatoes (Yams) and Sugar.

May I suggest the sugar beet? After all, quite a lot of our sugar is derived from it.
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I will also make one more statement in the support of acceptance of a small amount of vegetables to the meat. Where do herbs fall in? They are in essence veggies. Without them, meat will no flavor.

I too despise the thought of vegtabalism I will join you on your hunt to destroy all vegetables!

We've got two signers, one maybe, and one random other post! Continue on our expedition to change the laws or our society!

Comrades.

You should all be ashamed. I have been away a mere few days and already there is salacious talk of... avocado. AVOCADO?! AND BEETS?!!! This is not a time for compromise. This is a time for immediate drastic action!

It is true that our species has been spared by consuming such nourishing nectar as mountain dew code red. Our deaths stalled by red dye number 40. BUT DO NOT BE DECEIVED. These heavily processed substances have served only as a temporary measure; a band-aid to guard us from a world of unadulterated terrors such as sun-dried tomatoes. And comrades! The time has come to rip off this band-aid!

This is not a matter of personal tastes, of trauma stemming from childhood memories of overcooked broccoli. No. This is a matter of life and death. And when we look for the source of this leafy evil, we must trace the demon back to its heavenly lair. For you see, all foliage draws its foul force from an extraterrestrial origin.

I am of course referring to the sun.

Scoff if you will! But consider the facts: Global warming. Skin cancer. Vegetables. Tan lines. All terrible, and all rely on the sun. To survive as a species, we must look to sources that completely exclude the sun as a source of energy. Beef? Cows eat grass. Grass uses sunlight. Ergo, cows are evil and should not be consumed. Wolves? Wolves eat cows, cows eat grass, grass uses sunlight. Wolves are evil and should not be consumed. Other humans? Humans eat wolves, wolves eat cows, cows eat grass. Humans are evil (for now) and should not be consumed (for now).

If we cannot eat grass, cows, wolves, or other people, we are left with only two options. The first is mass exodus to another star system, where we will hopefully find other intelligent life which we will then eat.

The second option is this weird crab I found. It has been kept pure by only eating non-photosynthesizing algae that grows in thermal vents.
Comrades, I present to you the only acceptable food located on Earth. The yeti crab: your future breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Forever.

@aknerd you are overdoing it. Not only were you away for over a month, no matter how hard we tried to reach you (we even thought that our enemies got you), now you show up just to tell us that we should be ashamed of ourselves? You should be ashamed of yourself! You've let us down.

Also, we started off as enemies of Vegetables, now you are telling us that we can only eat 1 thing!? No! This will not happen. What we have to do is use the bad things to make good things, like using cocoa spores to make chocolate, not limit ourselves in the only thing that has no part of a plant.

And what is this? Suddenly we need to eat things that are not connected to the sun in anyway? Our enemies are Vegetables, and Vegetables only! I won't turn my back on everything because of your paranoia! You are mad!
The next thing you are going to tell us is that we have to dance around in our underwear the song "old McDonald has a farm" after every meal just for parody.

I was one of the most loyal members of this clan, I even wrote our oath. But I WILL NOT tolerate this! Your actions are most destructive for us.

@aknerd Boy have I got news for you! You need not even eat those yeti crabs. Your salvation comes from the source of food from which the yeti crab's food get its food. The solution: Chemosynthesis! All you need to do is grow an intestinal fauna of those bacteria that all deep-vent inhabitants have, those which turn minerals into comestible matter for you. You will never again have to eat impure sun matter, only ingest minerals such as sulfides from time to time, and your gut bacteria will feed you pure bliss!

*shrugs* I retract my previous statements. I WILL BLINDLY FOLLOW THIS BELIEF NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES. WHAT AKNERD SAYS, GOES.

The solution: Chemosynthesis! All you need to do is grow an intestinal fauna of those bacteria that all deep-vent inhabitants have, those which turn minerals into comestible matter for you. You will never again have to eat impure sun matter, only ingest minerals such as sulfides from time to time, and your gut bacteria will feed you pure bliss!

Good topic Thank you

Listen to me, fellow vegga-ta-bul; haters! we must riot! This man who has leaded us and we have trusted so blindly, is none other than a FANATIC! we must stop him from telling his lies! If we all stop following this madness and revert back to anti-herbavorism we can still survive and end this mad mans reign of crabbiness! Or, better yet, you all can follow the one true prophet, Evilsweetblock and join him in sweet Blockism where we shall follow my amendments of veggies, so that you will not be cut off from corn or chocolate, just cauliflower and radishes! Although I cannot make puns out of veggie names like your former prophet, I swear to you all we can live in harmony! Quickly now my friends, come with me to SALVATION!

I don't know, ESB, yeti crab is sounding mighty delicious.

Fine, eat Yeti Crab. I'll just indulge myself with all your POISONOUS COOKIES!