ForumsThe TavernSpiders are a form of demon and should be purged.

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TheAngelOfWar
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TheAngelOfWar
206 posts
Nomad

My theory is that spiders are in fact a type of demon sent to this world to punish humans.

Exhibit A.
There is no way it evolved.

What evolves with hairy 8 legs, 3 body parts, vibration sensing, swimming abilities, big fangs with venom, natural hunter traits, carnivorous, wing span varying from 1 cm to 1 feet, and has eyes varying from 0 to 300? Nothing but spiders. They are specifically designed to haunt humans and mock them with their unnatural form.

Exhibit B
They are evil.

To prove this we must first ask the question what were the first "true" spiders named? They are named the Attercopus. It means poison head. They will poison you and strike fear into your very soul and state of mind unlike any other animal.

Exhibit C They want to kill you.

Spiders that can actually harm you (and **** well know they can) on a physical level they will run after you if you threaten them. That's right. They run for you not away from you like a normal animal or bug. They run towards your *** and try to bite you in order to murder you and devour your soul if threatened, thrill seeking, bored, or low on souls. But the difference between a spider and more hostile animal say a lion is that a lion will give up when it knows that you are the human with the superior brain, superior weaponry, and have thumbs. When a spider engages in combat it will do it's very best to kill you. You can spray soapy water at it and shoot two of its legs off with a Nerf gun (which I have done) and it will still try to kill you to it's dying breath because it hates humans because it is a demon.

Exhibit D
They invade our homes on purpose.

What animal sneaks into a humans house armed to the teeth (literally) and hangs out in the corner of your room to stalk you (most likely to determine the best moment to harvest your soul). No animal, bug, fish, or insect will do this. Sometimes a deer or something will come into a humans home because it doesn't know any better or maybe a racoon will be like "this dude isn't using his basement so I think I will." but you see spiders do not walk in by mistake or look for a nice place to live in because it's not smart enough to know that humans don't like random animals living with them. Spiders invade your home in a search and assassinate mission. They come into your home and hang out in the corner waiting for the perfect moment to kill you or they go for a full scale invasion and lay eggs in your house and radio in back up to have more of its allies ready to kill you. Why? Because they are demons who want to reduce the human race into ashes. It's happened to me before but I successfully defeated and killed most of the invaders with pencils, sprays, a remote control, and a chair.

In conclusion spiders are soul eating demons who want to destroy the human race.

  • 43 Replies
pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,823 posts
Jester

? Spiders are absolute bros what are you talking about.

Like honestly leave them alone they leave you alone. You offer them a warm home.they keep the bugs out. Win win

pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,823 posts
Jester

Sorry to burst your bubble but cobwebs are the result of your laziness (they form from dust)

FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
3,173 posts
Duke

Cobwebs are produced by Theridiidae species.

Also, just because I can:
http://www.omanlover.org/vb/attachments/forum11/62994d1342909679-851405.jpg
"Who wants a hug?"

pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,823 posts
Jester

Pretty sure I said that

Though idk why you are not only letting YOUR home be dusty, but a poor spider's home as well. Quite rude

HahiHa
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HahiHa
8,213 posts
Regent

I'm fine with the population of Pholcidae in the house, especially now that I just learned that they prey on some of the more vicious-looking spiders like huntsman or redback spiders (not that we have any of those around here). Just need to clean the webs from time to time.

If you live in East Africa though, you have a really good reason to let this spider into your house.

http://www.comsdev.canterbury.ac.nz/graphics/Hanging-Spider-med.jpg

StormWalker
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StormWalker
8,232 posts
Jester

i like most spiders

philimaster
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philimaster
491 posts
Peasant

I don't really have a strong opinion on spiders, there kind of just there like any other crawly thing. The things i really hate are moths!

Zboy99
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Zboy99
5 posts
Shepherd

A few spiders climbed into my sisters bed when she was sleeping so when she woke up her leg was covered in spider bites. Spiders are creatures sent from hell.

GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
15,617 posts
Herald

I don't mind spiders so long as they keep their distance, but for some reason they love to attack my wife. No matter where we are--at home or outdoors--she'll always end up with a bite or few, while I'm always unscathed.
I'm guessing it's her natural scent or a specific fragrance. Does anyone know why that is?

GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
15,617 posts
Herald

That's the thing, we never know what they look like. She just finds spider bites at random.

lindacheyenne
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lindacheyenne
7 posts
Jester

lol i'm 12 yet never got bitten by a spider and i'm honest lucky me man

lindacheyenne
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lindacheyenne
7 posts
Jester

and i kill them to yet never delt with any scary one and idk why

sietkafta
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sietkafta
75 posts
Grand Duke

Hell no! Stop that guys please no one harm that little cute friends of us anymore... They are not our enemies. Actually we are (humans) the only one invader... We invaded their life places.

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