ForumsThe TavernSpiders are a form of demon and should be purged.

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TheAngelOfWar
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TheAngelOfWar
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My theory is that spiders are in fact a type of demon sent to this world to punish humans.

Exhibit A.
There is no way it evolved.

What evolves with hairy 8 legs, 3 body parts, vibration sensing, swimming abilities, big fangs with venom, natural hunter traits, carnivorous, wing span varying from 1 cm to 1 feet, and has eyes varying from 0 to 300? Nothing but spiders. They are specifically designed to haunt humans and mock them with their unnatural form.

Exhibit B
They are evil.

To prove this we must first ask the question what were the first "true" spiders named? They are named the Attercopus. It means poison head. They will poison you and strike fear into your very soul and state of mind unlike any other animal.

Exhibit C They want to kill you.

Spiders that can actually harm you (and **** well know they can) on a physical level they will run after you if you threaten them. That's right. They run for you not away from you like a normal animal or bug. They run towards your *** and try to bite you in order to murder you and devour your soul if threatened, thrill seeking, bored, or low on souls. But the difference between a spider and more hostile animal say a lion is that a lion will give up when it knows that you are the human with the superior brain, superior weaponry, and have thumbs. When a spider engages in combat it will do it's very best to kill you. You can spray soapy water at it and shoot two of its legs off with a Nerf gun (which I have done) and it will still try to kill you to it's dying breath because it hates humans because it is a demon.

Exhibit D
They invade our homes on purpose.

What animal sneaks into a humans house armed to the teeth (literally) and hangs out in the corner of your room to stalk you (most likely to determine the best moment to harvest your soul). No animal, bug, fish, or insect will do this. Sometimes a deer or something will come into a humans home because it doesn't know any better or maybe a racoon will be like "this dude isn't using his basement so I think I will." but you see spiders do not walk in by mistake or look for a nice place to live in because it's not smart enough to know that humans don't like random animals living with them. Spiders invade your home in a search and assassinate mission. They come into your home and hang out in the corner waiting for the perfect moment to kill you or they go for a full scale invasion and lay eggs in your house and radio in back up to have more of its allies ready to kill you. Why? Because they are demons who want to reduce the human race into ashes. It's happened to me before but I successfully defeated and killed most of the invaders with pencils, sprays, a remote control, and a chair.

In conclusion spiders are soul eating demons who want to destroy the human race.

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