Forums → The Tavern → The Zombie Survival Club! (basic rules on page 144)

What kind of gun do we have? Seeing as it wasn't mentioned I just want to know.

I am a professional Zombie Survival Strategist. I have been preparing myself for a long time & I believe I have a much better plan than any of you = )> although, feel free to critique, your opinion may be considered. & who knows, I may just come back and save your ass = )>
For starters, the apocalypse will come when you least expect it, so be prepared at all times. For this reason I carry a fully loaded Mossberg 500A 12 gauge & an extra box of .00 buckshot in my truck. At the first sign of outbreak I will do my best to avoid the main chaos while making my way to the nearest pawnshop. On the way I will call and arrange to meet as many of my trusted, well armed, friends as are still surviving. Upon reaching the pawn shop I will gain entry by reason or force & proceed to pack guns & ammo ( primarily but not exclusively .22 rifles for their light weight, accuracy, low recoil, readily available ammunition & high ammo capacity as well as handguns for close range defense), a 2-way radio & survival provisions (water treatment tablets, flashlights, flares, blankets, first aid, etc..)
My friends & I will meet in an even smaller town a few miles south of my city where the infection is less likely to have spread. Where upon we will proceed to use our newly accquired arsenal & combined muscle to rob one of the many isolated gas stations that dot the countryside of my area, filling 55 gallon drums with fuel & enough water & non perishable foods to carry our small convoy the 300 miles to the coast. There we will take over 2 small sailing vessels, carrying ourselves & our supplies to an offshore oil platform. We will be met with little resistance there as there are no guns permitted on board & most of the crew will have left to be with their families at first news of the outbreak. On the platform we will find everything we need for a small band of survivors to live comfortably for many months or possibly years including food in the form of non perishables & fish caught from the ocean, fresh water, fuel, sleeping quarters, showers, laundry facilities, & a broadband wireless connection that we can use to establish contact with the outside world. For additional supplies we will execute well drilled raiding expeditions. Later, using our cell phones (for as long as they continue to work), 2-way radios & the internet we may attempt to contact & rescue nearby survivors assuming a strict criteria for who will be rescued. For instance, microbiologists, & beautiful women will be at the top of the list. When our population exceeds our resources we will colonize the surrounding platforms until we have established a large enough citizenship to perpetuate the species thus ensuring humanity. Our main objective will of course be to retake & repopulate the earth, for which we must a) kill all the zombies b) wait for them to all rot or c) assuming zombieism is caused by some sort of viral or bacterial strain not unlike a combination of lepracy & rabies, we rescue as many scientists as possible & get to work on a cure(unlikely) or vaccine.
If you find any holes in my strategy, I welcome criticism but I`m pretty sure I got this one worked to the T.

microbiologists

I am a professional Zombie Survival Strategist.

I have been preparing myself for a long time

I believe I have a much better plan than any of you

For starters, the apocalypse will come when you least expect it, so be prepared at all times.

fully loaded Mossberg 500A 12 gauge & an extra box of .00 buckshot

truck

At the first sign of outbreak I will do my best to avoid the main chaos

On the way I will call and arrange to meet as many of my trusted, well armed, friends as are still surviving

primarily but not exclusively .22 rifles for their light weight, accuracy, low recoil, readily available ammunition & high ammo capacity as well as handguns for close range defense

a 2-way radio & survival provisions (water treatment tablets, flashlights, flares, blankets, first aid, etc..)

My friends

I will meet in an even smaller town a few miles south of my city where the infection is less likely to have spread

Where upon we will proceed to use our newly accquired arsenal & combined muscle to rob one of the many isolated gas stations that dot the countryside of my area, filling 55 gallon drums with fuel & enough water & non perishable foods to carry our small convoy the 300 miles to the coast.

There we will take over 2 small sailing vessels, carrying ourselves & our supplies to an offshore oil platform

Later, using our cell phones (for as long as they continue to work), 2-way radios & the internet

beautiful women

When our population exceeds our resources we will colonize the surrounding platforms until we have established a large enough citizenship to perpetuate the species thus ensuring humanity. Our main objective will of course be to retake & repopulate the earth

a) kill all the zombies b) wait for them to all rot or c) assuming zombieism is caused by some sort of viral or bacterial strain not unlike a combination of lepracy & rabies, we rescue as many scientists as possible & get to work on a cure(unlikely) or vaccine.

If you find any holes in my strategy, I welcome criticism but I`m pretty sure I got this one worked to the T.

Orion Your being applauded,

Your plan looks like its filled with buck shot. try agian.

Thoad, I remember that one.

Orion Your being applauded,

Your plan looks like its filled with buck shot. try agian.

I'm going to necro a scenario from our meshiah, Strongbow!
You are traveling to your mothers when your car breaks down. You had just gotten away from a large group of zombies in your hometown. You're somewhere in Kentucky and the corn is pretty much everywhere. You see a zombie and swerve out of the way in terror, and you crash into a bunch of corn. You hit a rock and go outcold for about an hour. You wake up to see your surroundings, headlights smashed, dark enough to see but not well (vision is grainy, but not pitch black). You are bleeding a little from the head (but nothing too bad). You see a bonfire through the corn.
You find yourself in a very small village, they agree to take you in, but are reluctant about it. You are bandaged, but the village has taken all your supplies. Something about them being unholy objects. You ask them about the infection, and if they've heard anything about it. "No, we never go into town anymore. We just grow our food. We can still pay for gas though. We haven't had much lately...".
As you stumble around town, you keep hearing the villagers looking at you and calling you a demon, or heathen. You start to feel unsafe, but your injury is starting to go away, so you think that you'll be able to get away when it heals.
Finally, they bring you into their church, where a rather old fashioned testament is given. Then, they announce something about a stoning, but you zoned out.
The following day, you witness the stoning, a young woman proclaimed to be a demon, due to "sacrificing her purity" with a man, before marriage. You cry out to save her, but everyone just gives you a dirty look.
You decide to reclaim your weapons and raid the village, since they seemed not to have anything more than pitchforks. Inside the Priest's home, you find most of your things, being the supplies and your trusty commando knife. Then, you hear the priest come in.
He goes down to the basement, and you follow with your knife at the ready. It's night and there isn't a peep. The priest is talking to himself, going "my love" every few sentences. He lights his lamp to show a horrific sight. It's one of the Goliath zombies, by the looks of it a woman, chained to a wall with a muzzle.
"I wish I could- but I'm the priest, my dearest, I'm the priest. Soon I'll be able to love you, in the most sinful of ways, but not untilI 'm ready to die." Horrified, you run out.
The next day, no one sees the priest. You were unable to get your guns, and everyone is wondering what that lump in your pocket could be. Finally, you hear a scream outside your guest house, and see a woman cringing on the floor with a nice bitewound in her arm. The priest starts biting people and is moaning furociously. You can only assume the worst. A few other people are bitten and another one turns. The infection is spreading fast in the town.
The town's church is 1 house away from you, and the Priests home is close to the outbreak. It has 5 clips of 7 rounds with it, along with a full round already inside. The church has a bell and a few matches in it. The rest have a few pitchforks and bonfire tools.
Mission: Either kill the entire village (40 villagers) (30 already infected), or escape the village (very unlikely, you're surrounded by corn and the next town isn't for another 30 miles).


Man that was long to read. Sounds like something from a book.

Now then. My response, after reading all that mountain of text... Is this

I would probably do a modded version of both A and B. First, considering I have:
-A Bowie Knife, nice and sturdy

-A Berretta 9mm which is nice and dandy, but they jam like strawberries, and it has a few clips, mabye about... say 35 bullets worth.

-And knowing the next best town is probably going to be just as bad, hell mabye even worse, I would probably stay. For a little bit, 30, and soon to be 40 zombies ins't so bad. Now I hate to base my survival plan around survivors, but you said 30/40. So im going to geuss I can at least get one out and alive. But im not relying SOLELY on that.

Now then. I would first, probably go in a barn, and go right on top of the roof. The roof isn't too high enough of where I could jump off and not hurt myself, but its tall enough to make sure Zombies will not climb up. Then, I would probably pull up the ladder from the barn, and then I can sue it for later. I will get my bearings, and shoot some zombies. (I have pretty damn good aim, I was a recon unit n the army, which basically ment I had to go in first, and scout, and basically shoot first, ask qeustiosn later.)
And I always steady my shots. Now then, as Im up on the barn, I would see if there is any people who are scrambling and not bitten in any sort of way, while on the rooftop. I WILL NOT go in the houses, until I have at least shot 20 or so zombies down. I would save the last 15 for use. And now geussing that there is about 10 zombies left, from your INITIAL report, but also that some are being attacked and getting their lungs ripped out, I would conserve my ammo. I would go on patrol status, and then I would make sure no zombies are around the barn, and I would jump down with the ladder.

Then, I would use the ladder, and if there is any zombies, Just hit them with the ladder, and swipe them. Not im geussing this is a sturdy, METAL ladder, which will not break, and these are Goliath zombies. So I smack them all with the ladder, and its long, and packs a punch when I swing it, and it will knock them down, and injure them. So, as they are knocked down, I will probably lift up the ladder, and smash their skulls with it, and then keep repeating the process, swooping them if I need to. Now I still have 15 bullets keep in mind. There will probably be only 3 survivors, or none, left. So I would probably climb back up on the barn, and re read my bearings. Now geussing there is only a few zombiesi n this town now, I will probably see if I can lure them out somehow. There must be animals in the barns, and since the barn has doors of which the animals are kept (and since they are Goliath, they may be strong and emotionless, but they are too stupid to unlock a door such as that, and considering its locked.)

I would probably get one animal to come out somehow, but then have a board ready, and then I will let the animal out( probably a goat or something) Then I will probably knock it out with the board, but making sure I don't kill it. Now geussing the rest of the zombies are in the house, I will probably bring the aqnimal, which would've woke nup by now, and tie it in the middle of the street. I would check all the doors of the house, make sure they aren't right on the side to rip my face off, then I would knock the doors, open then hasitly, and run the hell up the ladder onto the barns roof, pull it up. Then hopefully, the zombies will come out, smell the Goat, and try to go towards it. Then, with my 15 bullets, I will shoot the remainder zombies, and try to make sure the goat isn't killed.

Then, now geussing there is eithier no survivors now, or probably mabye one or two grit heads, I would search the houses, very carefulyl mind you, I don't want my intestines ripped out so they can hang me with them, and search for ammo, and so on. Then, I would probably drag all the water, every peice of supplies I can, to the Barn, and then, I would fortify the barn. I would make sure there is enough food for myself, and the animals, probably taking corn in. I wil fortify it, and then I will use the barn as my new home, putting my personal belongings in a clean spot, and I would probably put barbed wire on the doors, and so on, and basically live there for a bit. Besides, I got corn feilds, of which I do know how to farm (I have friends who are farmers who I help reguarly) and plus I will probably milk the goats, and live there for as long as possible.

Now if there is survivors... Which I hoep there wouldn't be.. they would probaby have conflict with me with the supplies parts, and me taking the barn and animals and all that. I would probably have to kill them when I find them. I can do this, I have taken a human life before, and im not proud of it, but this is survival matters here. SO therefore, that is my plan. Oh and make sure (while wearing gloves) And using a shovel, and probably a wheel barrow, I would dig a huge massive pit, over time of course, and I would put all the bodies in it, so I don't get infected. The cleanup would be my first thing I would do after taking the town. I Would also check each body by hitting it with a sledge hammer (Which I could probabyl find in some tool shack) And then I would jsut merely fortify the barn, and then mabye, If I got enough resources, Fortify a house, call it my own, and live.

So, that is my plan.

First off, I love how "iEatZombieBrains" makes himself out to be a hotshot yet EnterOrion just totally ripped it to shreds in a frenzy. I recommend that you completely revise your plan, but I'm happy you actually read the f*ck*ng rules, so you're on my good list. ]

Comrade, I will trust in your plan, but I'll give it a C only.

Despite the fact that Orion already thoroughly picked his plan apart, I'm going to do it as well, because I'm bored and because I haven't done it in a while. Keep in mind I never actually read all of Orion's yet, so I way very well same some things nearly/exactly the same.

I am a professional Zombie Survival Strategist

I have been preparing myself for a long time

believe I have a much better plan than any of you

= )>

although, feel free to critique

your opinion may be considered

who knows, I may just come back and save your ***

For starters, the apocalypse will come when you least expect it, so be prepared at all times.

For this reason I carry a fully loaded Mossberg 500A 12 gauge & an extra box of .00 buckshot in my truck

At the first sign of outbreak I will do my best to avoid the main chaos

while making my way to the nearest pawnshop

On the way I will call and arrange to meet as many of my trusted, well armed, friends as are still surviving

Upon reaching the pawn shop I will gain entry by reason or force

& proceed to pack guns & ammo

( primarily but not exclusively .22 rifles for their light weight, accuracy, low recoil, readily available ammunition & high ammo capacity as well as handguns for close range defense)

a 2-way radio & survival provisions (water treatment tablets, flashlights, flares, blankets, first aid, etc..)

My friends & I

will meet in an even smaller town a few miles south of my city where the infection is less likely to have spread.

Where upon we will proceed to use our newly accquired arsenal & combined muscle to rob one of the many isolated gas stations that dot the countryside of my area

filling 55 gallon drums with fuel

& enough water

& non perishable foods

to carry our small convoy the 300 miles to the coast.

There we will take over 2 small sailing vessels

carrying ourselves & our supplies to an offshore oil platform

We will be met with little resistance there as there are no guns permitted on board

& most of the crew will have left to be with their families at first news of the outbreak

On the platform we will find everything we need for a small band of survivors

to live comfortably for many months or possibly years including food in the form of non perishables

& fish caught from the ocean

fresh water

fuel

sleeping quarters, showers, laundry facilities

& a broadband wireless connection that we can use to establish contact with the outside world

For additional supplies we will execute well drilled raiding expeditions.

Later, using our cell phones (for as long as they continue to work)

2-way radios & the internet we may attempt to contact & rescue nearby survivors assuming a strict criteria for who will be rescued.

For instance, microbiologists, & beautiful women will be at the top of the list.

When our population exceeds our resources

we will colonize the surrounding platforms until we have established a large enough citizenship to perpetuate the species thus ensuring humanity.

ur main objective will of course be to retake & repopulate the earth

for which we must a) kill all the zombies

b) wait for them to all rot

or c) assuming zombieism is caused by some sort of viral or bacterial strain not unlike a combination of lepracy & rabies, we rescue as many scientists as possible & get to work on a cure(unlikely) or vaccine.

If you find any holes in my strategy, I welcome criticism but I`m pretty sure I got this one worked to the T.

DC. I laughed hard enough to have my mom come in here and tell me to shut up. haha


Alright, in regards to the scneario.

I tinhk it would be best to in the chaos, kill the newly infect individuals. Such as the women holding here arm. This would iliminate the thret of them biting me later. I would then make my way to the church, were I would take a bag of food and possibly bottled water if they have any. I would find my gun, and store clips in my pockets. I'm not the best shoot, so I'm gonna have to rely on getting out of there fast.

Once I have my possesions, and what ever food I could pillage from the church, I wouold try and find some sort of two story house. I wouldn't enter right away, rather press my back to the wall next to the door and knock. A knock is loud enough to be heard by whatever is o nthe other side, but not much else. IF there wsa no moan or knock back as a response, I would pull my gun up, and slowly open the door. I would not step through the door way right away. Rather hold my bag in the door way. If it was hit, I would run like hell. If nothing happened, I would run in, and find some sort of cover to make sure I was alone. Then, proceded to barricade doors and windows, as well as get all of my things up stairs. I would find a small room upstairs, and lock my self in it, untill all went quiet.

Assuming the corn feilds have an irragation system, not run by and electric pump then food while last a while. If the corn is not done growing, and the water system is out, then i'm gonna have to use animals as food, and water would be a problem.


I was going to use the same plan a wolf, as thatswhat I thought of first, but through a bit of revision...there you have it.

I FEEL POWERFUL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lightning shoots from eyes, and a huge fireball rockets out of my A$$*


FEEL THE POWER! I HAS MADES A PLAN USED BY SKATER! lol

I had to do that, it was bloody instinct.
Anyways, BOOM POW PUFF BANG! the Topic is revived. I just hope all these CRAP topics go slide away so the real ones, like my Modernzied survival club, and this, rises to the surface again.

I just hope all these CRAP topics go slide away so the real ones, like my Modernzied survival club, and this, rises to the surface again.

I'm a zombie survivalist freak extremist myself. Go to zombiesurvivalwiki.com! It's great and has really smart survivalists.

Hey zombicator, I don't give a crap. Thats a poor statement if your trying to join this club.


Submit a actual plan, and mabye I'll even consider speaking with you. [quote]I'm a zombie survivalist freak extremist myself.


Yeah. And im Chi Geuverra. Get a real plan, im not trying to be a troll, and We want plans, not adverts. So eithier piss off or contribute something.

I'm a zombie survivalist freak extremist myself. Go to zombiesurvivalwiki.com! It's great and has really smart survivalists.

Wow. Some of you guys are seriously underfuct. And a**holes to boot. Not to mention there are far too many "zombie specialists" on here with far too much free time to be pointing fingers at anyone else for lack of a life. Face it, ur a nerd behind a keyboard with nothing better to do than try and talk down to people over a fictional topic. But since it`s obvious that we both have the time, allow me to point out a few defining factors you may have overlooked in this plan that you so persistently hacked at.
First off I`m catchin alot of flack about my gun. Bossy Mossy isn`t intended to be used as an anti zombie weapon. It`s an anti a**hole home defense weapon that I purchased over someone breaking into my house. It`s just what I happen to carry with me, I`ve had her a little over 3 years & nobody else wants to kick my door in, what do ya know, I guess she serves her purpose. Regardless, Mossy is only intended to get me into the nearest pawnshop, which is completely feasible lending to the uncharacteristically low population density of my home & surrounding areas & the fact that I live within a mile of 2 pawnshops & multiple other places where guns & ammunition are stored and/or sold. You forget, guns are big business with these rednecks, everyone I know has at least 1.
Also you act as if the entire countryside will be crawling with zombies by the time the outbreak makes public knowledge. Many will be infected, yes, but most who hear about it(& thats going to be just about everyone thanks to the long reaching d*ck of the media networks) will barricade themselves in their homes(exactly as the news tells them to do). It will take days at very least for the infection to reach the epidemic proportions that you speak of. Roadways should not be nearly as congested as you predict, there is a back road to everywhere here & if we do run into a snag or two, I drive a truck. Around here we don`t mind gettin a lil mud on the tires. We put our trucks through hell everyday, a ditch full of zombies sounds like fun = )> & as far as someone having a problem with my smile, don`t you just sound like a Nazi? I mean really, Adolf, who has a problem with people smiling?
As far as making contact with my friends, many of them live within a couple blocks of me & there is just as much of a chance of them surviving as any of you. Greater, actually, seeing as the majority of them own guns & 4x4 trucks. Food & drinks should be no problem, even you have a kitchen & a duffel bag. If we need more we will take more. Fuel should be a non issue also with the volume of oilfield trucks carrying 100+ gallon tanks on the back & the abundance of small mom & pop country stores around here, one 55 gallon drum should take a convoy of 2 or 3 large pickups at least to the coast. Also, those places would be the last to be looted & I don`t plan on being the last of the looters. **Trying to get help from the police is one of the last things you want to do, I mean honestly, who wants to approach some a**hole with a gun who is jacked up on testosterone, fear & adrenaline? Are you trying to get shot?**
If you are going to cut down someone else`s plan at least suggest a better one. Now back to the topic of escape, since I have cleared your misconceptions that 99.9% of the worlds population will be simultaneously infected or stricken with sudden stupidity(honestly, think about how slowly the virus would spread in communities that sometimes have miles between each house). Of those who are, the chances that their small percentage of the already sparse population here will pose much of a threat is fairly minimal. We would smash & grab on the edge of town & jet out.
Making it to the coast would also not be nearly as difficult as you suggest. At an average speed of scarcely over 60 mph I can make it in under 5 hours. Even if you slow my average speed to 20 mph I will still be there in well under 15 hours. You mentioned not being able to find a boat, If you had ever been to south Louisiana you would realize how ludicrous that statement was. Taking one would be fairly simple & yes "take over" is a macho way to say hopefully we find one unattended but will also settle for holding people at gunpoint & taking theirs. Finding an oil rig would also be of little difficulty as they line the gulf, some of which being visible from shore.
As for the provisions onboard, they are stocked for very large crews of men to live there for weeks without resupplying. Our small group should live quite comfortably for many months. As for fishing, that is fairly simple, u use a piece of meat & a fishing rod(already onboard because every offshore worker has one there) to catch the first fish, then use the inedible parts to fish for more. Also, oil rigs are fitted with large generators, thus the need for fuel. jacka**. Regardless of the fact that your ignorance, lack of ingenuity or forethought, & unfounded sense of superiority have made your opinion all but irrelevant to me, I would like to be entertained by your own zombie survival plan. If you honestly believe that you have a better plan then post a page number. I certainly hope it is better than the jacka** who suggested visiting a strip mall with 2 barettas in hand so that he could steal a tape recorder(really? a f*cking tape recorder? You would visit one of the most populated areas imaginable for a tape recorder?).*chance of survival* eaten while trying to sneak into a busy strip mall. Whoops, I guess nobody told you because they assumed you had more sense than that. & it d*mn sure better make more sense than the amazing knife throwing phenomenon(over 100 ft? dead accuracy? You don`t have to lie to kickit brau) who proposed loading himself down with like 80+ lbs of knives & swords & driving to his death in a stolen car that he probably has VERY limited experience in driving. *chance of survival* I would be suprised if you made it to the car while lugging all those blades. In the unlikely event that you make it out of the driveway, I give you less than 5 miles before your inexperience behind the wheel gets you run over by a driver in a far larger vehicle(possibly me in a 4x4 pickup = )> )
If I failed to address any of your gripes with my more than competent plan (certainly more so than any scenario I have read from you guys) let me know. Just be sure to retort with a better way of handling the given situation rather than just being a d*ck.
Oh and one last thing, my personal life should stay the f*ck out of this, it`s really none of your concern, but seeing as you have nothing better to do than to speculate over how I live, I guess I`ll clue you in to how I live. Yes a**hole, I live with my parents, my father to be more precise. I`m a 22 year old full time student with a part time construction job. No, I don`t make a lot of money but I pay my own bills & thats exactly why I`m going to college. & as far as my sex life is concerned, that is really not your business but if you must know, my body keeps me from having to waste time talking anyone into the sack. Feel like you need to know anything else about me, then just ask, but please refrain from being a douchebag, making accusations & assumptions on subjects that you know nothing about.