First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme. It must be submitted by the deadline. It cannot have inappropriate language in it. It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!) Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
I'm guessing I shouldn't bother with this theme. This feels like one of those things that are so bad that no one talks about it and when a curious person figures it out, they are traumatized, too. Can anything really be that bad?
Personally I am sick of all the people hating on him(/her?). He is just a lonely misunderstood sea creature with odd furniture and questionable genitals. So here is a poem for you Ol' Gregg. I hope you find true love someday.
All alone, Under the the waves. No one to love me, In these dark caves.
I am bored as hell So what do I do? Purloin lonely fishermen Offer Baileys from a shoe
I show him my sketchings I put on my dress I look rather fetching My guest looks depressed
He tries to leave He says he is busy But I can perceive He thinks I am fishy
I tell him a story About the mystical funk He's barely listening He thinks it's all junk
He again tries to leave I am in despair What doesn't he like? My scales? My hair?
O please let him stay! I am O so alone I lack wireless broadand And even a phone
Alas he has escaped! Whilst here do I tarry I thought he was the one I was going to marry
This wound is deep It shall take time to mend I have eternity to recouperate Without one single friend
I'm inpressed that anyone could come up with these good of poems for this theme. And do we still get merits if we win or not cause i wouldnt if i were a mod.?
OK,I guess I should attempt to try and make something or this because I am bored right now...
OLD GREGG IS EVIL!!!!
Old Gregg is a demonic fish you know Some sort of transvestite who's_____it likes to show The most disturbing thing there will ever be Is the Bailey's drinking Old Gregg from under the sea Asking for a guys hand in marriage for reasons unknown I swear Gregg is like the Swamp Monsters clone Calling someone a Mother Licker on a boat I wonder if pure fishy evil will float? He says "I'm Old Gregg" like people care Do you find it bit odd that he/she has no hair? Old Gregg does Water Colors,all of the same thing that ugly fish face that got caught by a nylon string Old Gregg is the most evil thing that ever could exist That is why I purpose Old Gregg an exorcist This is my plea to rid the world of the evil that it is To get rid of the disturbing images that were hers/his So let me ask you one more thing about this sea devil Do you think Old Gregg is pure evil?
OK,thats something I just came up with right on the spot while listening to music.Hope you "like" it Ubertuna.
It's hilarious how disturbed people got from seeing the Ol Gregg episode. The series was on terestrial TV before the watershed. If it's really so bad then a high proportion of the British population now has PTSD.
