ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

3868 3147390
DragonMistress
offline
DragonMistress
1,060 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
  • 3,868 Replies
kingryan
offline
kingryan
4,196 posts
Farmer

There once was a man,
who lived in a dingy can.
He had few mates,
And Victoria was his state,
And so he was a bogan!


Hahahahaahahahahahaha!

KingRyan!

shayneii
offline
shayneii
2,492 posts
Peasant

Flatulence

There once was a man named Joe,
With his stomach, he had a bad row.
He let one loose,
It frightened a moose!
Three kids died from the blow!

xD, just a quick one I made while passing by :P

Lynoth
offline
Lynoth
509 posts
Nomad

^That made me lol.

There once was a dancing man
When he'd dance he'd often land
On his large behind
Which seemed to mind
So in foam he covered its span

I'm not very good at limericks.

Strop
offline
Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

lol that wasn't bad actually!

Finally, I know when I will judge this poetry contest. Tomorrow!

I'm just glad I survived the week *crawls in through the door and twitches*

kingryan
offline
kingryan
4,196 posts
Farmer

TOMORROW! I dont know if I can wait this long!

ARGH!!!

You better judge the Limericks on the Weekend too...or you're Melbourne Cup Day will be...Melbourne 'Judge the Poetry Comp' Day..

KingRyan

jediboy277
offline
jediboy277
149 posts
Peasant

there once was a man named Guy
Guy so really loves pie!
On pie he would munch,
he ate a bunch,
and then exploded with a sigh!

Strop
offline
Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

Hi, remember me!?

When your eyes skim over pages,
Parsing symbols, pixels, ink,
Written throughout the ages,
Don't ever stop to think,
Of what you'll never get to read,
So vast this literary world,
I did, and just as I had feared,
My will to learn stopped cold.

---

Books...I picked this because it was such a broad topic that almost anybody and everybody could sink their teeth into one way or another. And they did! Once again I noticed a few trends in the entries, some more successful than others. As zootsuit_riot pointed out, nearly everybody ended up struggling with rhyming with 'book'...even zootsuit_riot, hahahahahahaaaa~

Anyway. Again, of instrumental importance was how the poem read. There were a few rough edges here and there and I guess I need not say too much more than practice makes perfect! Try not to force yourself to rhyme unless you've really got the hang of practicing...I do things with complex rhyming schemes that (hopefully) still read perfectly well because I'm used to throwing rhymes out in a jiffy (I wrote the above in about three minutes while thinking of how to structure my commentary) and frequently receive the comment from others that when they try to do the same they lose the ability to speak meaningfully. It takes a while to get right.

On a related note, with regards to this theme, once again I was looking for this elegant articulation, whether it be the lighthearted, the deep or, most commonly, trying to engage with what makes books so engaging!

A word of warning here: coherence is key. A common trap is to want to be abstract or as crazy as possible in the name of being deep and thought provoking. But this is always a gamble, sometimes people will see something and think you're a genius of evocation. Others will think you're full of...turds. I can't recall if I said this a fortnight ago but I'll say it anyway- make sure what you've written has a good foundation, be it observance of good language and theme and consistent imagery. This way it is easier to draw a reader into your world of the poem.

As such, the pinnacle of elegant expression this time around, happens to be the entry that earnt the title of Grand Winner: in College by gantic

in College I was asked this Q
and in the text I found the A

but if the Old Man died
while he dreamt of lions
or if the mouse who lived
had ever found Margalo
I will never know


Many of you are likely encountering the seemingly harsh confines of pidgeonhole learning, depending on attitudes to education. I know that in Australia, education seems to veer towards this as opposed to the free-thinking espoused by other schools of thought, so I identify with the prescriptive simplicity presented so aptly in the first couplet, conveyed in everything from the structure, right down to the details of using the contraction Q & A. The latter half (I call it a half for good reason) is therefore a stark contrast that embodies the imaginative world of literature in a way unique to this contest: talking about the world beyond the text (whereas most of the other entries talked of worlds within the text). In a word, this entry won because it was poignant.

The word &quotoignant" comes from the romantic languages, and whichever root you take it means "stab". Therefore to say something is poignant is to say it is 'stabbing', but in a literary sense it is a subtle thing...partly a description of "incisiveness" but also of "emotional gravity". Personally I beleive that it is widely held that this is one of the most powerful forces of literature that lies beyond the worlds of hyperbolic emo angsting and apathetic nihilism of today's youth.

So yeah. Gantic's poem stabs you. Congratulations!

And now for a very surprising Second Place: A Bogan's Rant by kingryan

I once did find two travel guides...
And I wondered what I would find inside...

I opened the first...and it looked real nice,
But the people in the second looked like they had lice.

The first had green bushes and trees,
The second just dead branches and hundreds of bees.

The first had cities shiny and clean,
But the seconds city...they were gross...you get what I mean...

And the people...oh what a shock!
The seconds population looked as thick as a rock!

And so I closed the books and read the cover,
The second said Victoria...and can you guess the other?

So if you come to this country do yourself a favour!
Don't bother about Victoria and come to...

SOUTH AUSTRALIA


...yes the title was my spiteful stab at his making such an excellently read poem at Victoria's expense (the war continues!)

There is a context specific reason for why this poem rocks. I won't say its delivery was *perfect* but I will say that it has a folksy conversational tune reminiscient of the Australian poetry classics of the likes of Banjo Patterson. In fact in some places I was reminded of one of his better known ballads, The Man from Ironbark. Of course Kingryan's entry (grrrr!) was not actually written in ballad form, but that's okay.

Seriously, when I read this poem I could imagine the protagonist from Waltzing Matilda droning away while he strummed his banjo which only had three strings left on it. That kind of thing. Good stuff (...nnnnnngh I'm gonna get you for this!!!!!!)

Third place: Addict by Zootsuit_riot

A title draws me in;
Hard-covered spine.
My hand finds its way
to the bookshelf; a delay.

The hand, it twitches,
My eyes grow wide;
Another withdrawal
Is in sight.

I scramble for the book,
Patterson, King, or Koontz.
Pages fly, a blur
Of motion in my eyes.

Hour by hour,
Page by page,
This unique craving
Is erased.

The thirst for knowledge,
This need for words,
When will it next hit me,
Will it get worse?


This entry also stood out because of the ease of expression and just how convincingly it portrays an "addiction" to reading. One notable feature would be the episodic nature of the structure- see how each stanza covers a different stage in the narration? Bonus points for rhyming "book" with Dean "Koontz", the bestselling author of suspense thrillers who somehow manages to mash almost every known mainstream genre into one.

And now for the part that everybody seems to have the most fun with...the Random Honorable (and not so honorable) Mentions!

Hall of Confusing Images that Made Me Say Whut?

...you make me say whut, I'll give you a random comeback!

ManUtd4Life096: "Books books books,/I'd rather eat a hook."

At which point Captain Hook would have served you upside your face with a left...hook :P

Better luck next time Peter Pan! And just for good measure, later on in the same poem...

"Heart breaking at times, but astonishingly good, you read on curbs!"

For some reason I find it heartbreaking that Melbourne was named the literary city of 2008 and I have yet to encounter any single person reading on the curb.

Kid_Saiyan: "your sly metaphors and long paragraphs/have me shook"

I've never seen metaphors described as 'sly' but for some strange reason I found the expression cute. "Why you sly metaphor, you confuse me yet again!"

lyntin: "books books/where to start/they make you laugh/they make you fart"

-wait, what? I've never read a book that made me fart. Seriously.

Hall of Contradictory Converses That Also Made Me Say Whut

lynoth: "One picture is worth a thousand words/Each of those words is a thousand pictures."

Wah, endless recursion! Soon the mass of these exponentially expanding words and pictures will exceed critical mass and make the literary world disappear up its own orifice! :O

Consolation Prize for Being Reading Challenged

BobMcBobBob:

I can barely read,
I forget what page I'm on,
so I just give up.


Must make browsing the forums really difficult!

...For Trying Really Hard to Make Me Say Whut (and Succeeding)

jediboy277:

But when i'm done
with my reading fun
I THROW THE BOOK AWAY!!!
so that's why my mom never buys......me.....books
and because she HATES MODERN SOCIETY, SO SHE WON'T WALK INTO A BOOKSTORE!!!!!!!!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!


...good luck with your mother? xD

A Simple and Genuine Honorable Mention

To Apocalypse for echoing my thoughts:

Books sitting there
Waiting to be read
Many have been there silent everywhere
Only a few have been read but I dread
I cannot read them all


From Left Field (But In a Good Way)

Mvpguy22. His poem was narrated from the point of view of a bookmark!

---

Okay folks, that's a wrap! I'm sorry I couldn't mention all the entries but please don't be discouraged if I didn't, keep on writing!

The limerick round is still currently running. KEEP THEM COMING!
Zophia
offline
Zophia
9,435 posts
Scribe

Remember to change the thread name. :P

And good work, all.

*can't write limericks, missed the deadline on books* *waits*

Strop
offline
Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

Thanks Zoph, I clean forgot.

Zootsuit_riot
offline
Zootsuit_riot
1,523 posts
Nomad

As zootsuit_riot pointed out, nearly everybody ended up struggling with rhyming with 'book'...even zootsuit_riot, hahahahahahaaaa~


Yeah...But not all of my lines ended with "Look" or "Nook" or "Shook" or "Cook"...
Zootsuit_riot
offline
Zootsuit_riot
1,523 posts
Nomad

Ah, sorry for the double post, but I just realized that the term for that is "End rhyme".

Yeah, I try to avoid end rhyme unless absolutely necessary...It makes be look back to middle school poetry that everyone in the class wrote.

mvpguy22
offline
mvpguy22
304 posts
Peasant

Wow, I have missed so much this week! A lot are really swell, and congrats to Gantic!

Here is my entry

Ms. Pocket
There was a lass called Ms. Pocket,
She loved to light big rockets,
With a BAM KA-BOOM,
And a lot of fumes,
Her eyes flew out of their sockets.

mentorso123
offline
mentorso123
368 posts
Jester

God strop, thanks for not mentioning mine.
And just as I was talking about how unnoticed I am

jeez

kingryan
offline
kingryan
4,196 posts
Farmer

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

I CAME SECOND!

ARGHARGHARGAHRGAHRGAHRGAHRGHARGHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

lol....well done Gantic...

My limerick better get a DM then...

KingRyan

Strop
offline
Strop
10,817 posts
Bard

I know I know mentorso123, but rest assured...I read each and every one of these at least three times before making a judgment!

Showing 226-240 of 3868