Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

Possibly in blatant disregard of the theme as much as preceding entries and following the Christmas parodies:

The Night Before Judging

'Twas the night before some cold holiday date,
I dashed 'cross the snow 'cause I was running late.
The poems were written and submitted to 'tuna,
Who, in place of Strop, was now the kahuna.
The poets were tired but stayed late awake,
While they dreamt of the prize home they would take,
And I dressed in wool from the top to the bottom
Wished very much that the season was autumn,
When inside the guild for the poet and would-be
Came such a commotion that I couldn't see.
I ran to the windows and peered through the glass,
But there was no one inside and I thought, Alas!
Something had happened since the lights were all out.
It had to be terrible, of that I don't doubt.
I went to the door and pushed it by handle,
Turned to my right, lit a match, then a candle.
I searched up and down from attic to basement,
Inside and out from chimney to casement,
And as I suspected not a poet was there,
No pencil, no paper, not even a hair.
No Parsat, no Zootsuit, no adrecka_33;
Gone 'tuna, Estel and that ManUtd!
No aaron, no Lynoth, no mvpguy,
Not a hero, nor necro, not even jedi!
Like a leaf on the wind they had all disappeared,
But all of this silence I had found the most weird.
There was only one thing that could be this quiet,
Especially after that racket, that riot.
And then in a flash of a blade made of steel,
I knew who it was as my face hit his heel.
I could see his outline from my place on the ground,
A ninja standing there not making a sound.
He was dressed all in black from his head to his toe.
He hadn't even left a footprint in the snow.
A hammer of ban he had 'gainst his shoulder;
It was so strong it could demolish a boulder.
His eyes were the only part of his face to be seen,
But cold was his stare as if he was a machine.
His equine-like muzzle stood out from his face;
It was the only thing that looked out of place.
A kunai he held tight to in his left hand,
As if he was considering where it would land.
I hoped not my face and I hoped not my belly,
And I hoped not the hammer, too, it'd smush me to jelly.
He was vengeful and spiteful, that ninja Straw Pony,
Especially if you think his ninjutsu was phony.
The kunai he threw had barely missed my head;
He wouldn't have missed if he wanted me dead!
But he spoke not a word and retrieved his thrown blade
While flat on the floor I continually laid.
Without blinking and eye into the shadows he faded,
And out of the guild he had just invaded,
But out of the silence his voice could be heard
In a crisp clear hush I made out every word,
As he left to spread more of his holiday fear,
"If you make fun of me I'll ban you, ya hear?"

*hands Gantic an interwebz*

Pure awesome, except for a few minor rhythm hiccups. But it is win.

Here comes Stroppy-Claus

Here comes Stroppy-Claus,
Here comes Stroppy-Claus,
Right down the Forum way,
He's holding his banhammer.
And is drinking all the waaay.

*schrunches and throws in bin*

Joy to the Strop

Joy to the World,
Strop is here,
He's going to get rid of the spam.
Let every user,
Cel-ee-bra-aate,
For the spam is gone,
For the spam is gone,
Fo-OR, foror the spam is gone...

*chucks in bin*

We Strop you a Merry Christmas

We Strop you a Merry Christmas,
We Strop you a Merry Christmas,
We Strop you a Merry Christmas,
And a ni-ice long ban.

*Throws out*

The Holly and the Strop

The holly and the Strop,
Live next to each other,
Something something somethi-

*Burns with a match*

Hey...Gantic...You forgot me!

kingryan

*dies laughing*

I would just like to say one thing. I live in Australia. In Australia, Christmas is not a winter holiday.

bahahahahahahahahaaaaa

p.s. One more thing, spurious, yes, but I considered the original quote which inspired my poem to be an out of context quote!

Yeah, spurious.

Wtf, Strop?

Nice ones kr~

This theme is possibly the most amusing ever. To me, anyway.

I would just like to say one thing. I live in Australia. In Australia, Christmas is not a winter holiday.

But kingryan, you already have a poem mentioning you.

The version posted here seems to be a little different than the one I thought I posted, just two minor wording changes. Maybe I'll fix up the rhythm when I have the time and post the changes I thought I had made, but it seems to read differently everytime.

Rudolph the red nose reindeer remix/revise

Stroppy, the christmas ninja,
had a very pink dress.
and if you ever saw him,
you would really laugh till death.

all of the other ninjas,
used to laugh and call him gay,
they never let poor stroppy,
join in their ninja training!

then one foggy christmas eve,
sensai came to say,
Stroppy with your dress so pink,
wont you come home with me for a drink

then all the ninjas laughed more
as they shouted out with glee
stroppy the christmas ninja,
youll go home with STDs!

sorry strop lol

If it was meant 2 be like summer...maybe...

Aussie Jingle Bells = Strop Version

Dashing through the bush,
wearing a pink dress.
Here comes Strop the ninja,
Look at his prettyness.

He is a real pansy,
He likes to dress like girls,
And he thinks its cool,
To have his hair like cinnamon swirls...

meh...

kingryan

lolol this is fun. when is this contest over?

Gantic: Look up anapestic tetrameter, the original meter of the poem. Basically it's a short-short-long pattern.

I'm still trying to figure out what to parody...

Thanks Parsat, I was trying to remember what the meter was.

Part of the problem is that my mind sometimes fills in details for me, even grammatical errors, to what it should be and not what it is, even when reading aloud.

hahaha! this are so awesome! i am going to post another.

Jingle bell rock: strop's version

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell strop.
Jingle Arrows and jingle bow,
Slashing and singin while strop is bannin,
Now the single strop has begun!

Jingle bell you hammer head you jingle bell strop
When he is chime its always a time,
Dancing and prancing while you spam on the way!
He bands you away!

What a bright time! its the right time!
To ban us all the way!
Jingle bell strop you silly man!
To glidin with you on a slay!

Giddy up jingle strop Pick up your dress
And dance all around the clock!
Mix and mingle those jingle hoofs!
He's the jingle bell!
That's the jingle bell!
He is the jingle bell strop!

~rai

im more of a fan of iambic pentameter, but im not too good at it. very easy to convert to song.

I don't think that the poem necessarily has to be a parody, but that's what everyone is doing...including me =p