Yes, I will be the poetry judge from now on, until I inevitably get burnt out.
All of the poems that I read, with few exceptions, were images of despair, of struggle, and of the will to survive. There's something about the water and the fact that it can be the begetter of life and death that captivates us. So without further ado, let the judging commence!
Bronze: The Remnants of Colonialism--Zaork
This is where the title goes
The poem is further down below
Listen closely and you'll hear
The cries of seamen from the pier
The noblemen who sacrificed
The very essence of their life
It is not a tale of woe
A mere warning from below
Each year the fleeting boats return
To the ocean to roil and churn
The feeble minds of commandeers
Leaves a taste of dying tears
Profit sought and profit gained
But none to use for none remained
Children left on the shore
Telling tales of grand rapport
Their fathers battling 'gainst the tide
For the purpose of some pride
The truth of which they will not learn
'till they surrender what they yearn
A parade leaves earthen land
Leaving past, present, sand
Hoping to glean of a time
Something past the threat of grime
For when they venture past the eye
There is not place to say goodbye
Floating on enclosed wood
Given the rights a coffin should
Surrender to the wroth of swell
Before the chiming of the bell
Marching, enveloped in the sea
Left with ambiguity
This is not a tale of woe
But a warning from below
While Zaork hails from lands down under, I know in America that colonialism is heavily romanticized as a momentous event in history...from the youngest ages we are those "children left on the shore" being told "tales of grand rapport," and we fail to realize the bleakness, and in some cases, the destructiveness that this colonialism lead to. This, I feel, is the heart of the poem, and in an age where we think we have explored every corner of this earth and ready to move on to the outer realms, this serves to remind us of the pain and the cost and the will we need to move past the Earth.
Silver: An Uncertain Evolution--wolf1991
Resurfaced
Here be the depths that we have crawled
To wake on this broken shore.
Where blood has run and men have cried
Forgotten hopes, dashed dreams and more.
Blasted iron sky, that once was iron blue
When we sang beneath the waves.
When dreams were far and we were young
And drowned men spoke of haunted graves.
Where rhythm beats a lost on lonely hearts
And the days are nothing new to us
So that we are tempted to crawl onto blasted shore
So that these metal workings be wonderous.
Ah sweet and bitter taint that was once us.
Once where things we above us, when we were new.
When we hid beneath the sea, the cold hearted mistress
That stole our souls and made us pay our due.
Oh, but we be wiser now. For the years have passed us.
And this forsaken land shall we haunt
And give those who hold life dear something to dread.
Something to make there lives seem to be a taunt.
Where in the ramblings of our minds,
Of our hearts and souls that be forfeit.
We will ponder no more our underwater prison
Of that place we shall forget.
We pray you heed these dark words well
We pray that you know our cause
For we will walk on this dead shore forever now
And should you see us, your life shall pause.
This poem harkens back to the image of the primeval, that first creature emerging from the depths onto a deserted land. And indeed, we see from the poem that little has changed from that first terrestrial encounter. The world is still a bitter struggle of the fittest, but where claws and teeth were once our weapons, they have been replaced by "metal workings" and iron. Great use of metaphor, although it would have been greatly helped by a more "epic" meter.
Gold: Broken Cog in the Machine--FallenSky
You are all alone in the crowd;
Unhindered by the bureaucrat's rhythm
However hard you desire not to go
Your thoughts are on the treadmill of you feet
For you dance that step in a sluggish fashion
A day like any other, but not less special;
You did not dream of never waking up
So upon that marvelous night of emptiness
You build the base of a succesful journey
Men at work, drink your coffee, drink it
And as the metro follows its course
You ponder why you were rewarded
With a night of dreamless sleep
Just enough thinking to make you dense;
Which is very few, almost naught in fact
All the thoughts they made you miss
That station so important
So you wonder where you'll end up;
Surely in a coffin if not at work
But a little change might not hurt
As the metro stop, free from all its people
You descend as the last of them robots
Wind yourself up and climb the stairs
To a sunny beach nearing water
Is it worth living the same day over, you wonder
You take off your brown and shiny shoes
To feel the life between your toes
The churning warmth of the earth
Melts into refreshing cold
As you march into the sea, never to come back
What will the boss say?
What will your colleagues think?
You don't care as your nose fills up
And all becomes terribly white
Surprisingly blank...
You slowly open your eyes, in an hospital bed
Your muscles weak from months of sleep
The woman sighting vacantly near
Let go a scream of surprise
And start to cry as she rush towards you
Doctors flow in the colorless room promptly
To witness the miracle
And as you're clueless, you think;
''That first breath tasted like
I just passed a few minutes underwater...''
I felt that this poem seemed to break the mold in everything it did. The free verse, the unusual repetitions, and the settings it posed, where the theme was individuality in the midst of conformity... It sets up with an excellent beginning about the banality of life, but when the character steps out he steps onto a sight that one would not expect to see. Instead of ignoring it, he moves on...and he becomes the spectacle. He becomes the man who experiences joy for life, not life for joy. And that is different. I corrected a few spelling mistakes, but it doesn't give you an excuse to give yourself crap about your control over the English language.
Congratulations, Fallen, and please contact a mod for your merit.
Our next theme, due two weeks from now (October 4, AG time), will be
Mythology. And just to spark ideas, remember that mythology isn't just limited to the Egyptians, the Greeks, or the Norse. Do a little research, and explore mythology: Chinese, Japanese, Arthurian, West African, Aztec, Mayan, Native American...the list goes on. Hope to see you guys then!
