First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme. It must be submitted by the deadline. It cannot have inappropriate language in it. It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!) Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
Technically ubertuna can enter too, he just can't win. It's pretty much the same as in all other competitions, whoever judges can't win, everyone else is free to try.
Zophia farted. But besides stopping, she ate more beans to end what she started. The world cried from the stink. But Zophia just yelled "My farts are pink!" The smell rose, From Connecticut to New Mexico. People were dying, But Zophia yellled "Oh, stop your crying" And with that, she farted once more, and killed more people with a stink that could fry smores. She yelled with delight, it felt oh so good! But then the people came up with a plan and they stood- up to her, they screamed "Here, have more beans!" And Zophia ate and ate, and farted and farted, until nothing was left of her, except a retarded- brain.