ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

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DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
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Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

I'm going to need time alone and to be in an empty room to look up Old Gregg by the looks of it...


Now that I've seen what the fuss is all about, I sincerely regret my previous post on this thread :x
Gantic
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Gantic
11,891 posts
King

I'm guessing I shouldn't bother with this theme. This feels like one of those things that are so bad that no one talks about it and when a curious person figures it out, they are traumatized, too. Can anything really be that bad?

FireflyIV
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FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

Entitled: Ode to Ol' Gregg

Personally I am sick of all the people hating on him(/her?). He is just a lonely misunderstood sea creature with odd furniture and questionable genitals. So here is a poem for you Ol' Gregg. I hope you find true love someday.

All alone,
Under the the waves.
No one to love me,
In these dark caves.

I am bored as hell
So what do I do?
Purloin lonely fishermen
Offer Baileys from a shoe

I show him my sketchings
I put on my dress
I look rather fetching
My guest looks depressed

He tries to leave
He says he is busy
But I can perceive
He thinks I am fishy

I tell him a story
About the mystical funk
He's barely listening
He thinks it's all junk

He again tries to leave
I am in despair
What doesn't he like?
My scales?
My hair?

O please let him stay!
I am O so alone
I lack wireless broadand
And even a phone

Alas he has escaped!
Whilst here do I tarry
I thought he was the one
I was going to marry

This wound is deep
It shall take time to mend
I have eternity to recouperate
Without one single friend

jediboy277
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jediboy277
149 posts
Peasant

There once was a man named old Gregg,
who had a...a...
THATS IT!!
I CANT DO IT!!
YOU CANT MAKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!

kingryan
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kingryan
4,196 posts
Farmer

I am slightly worried about this theme...

I dont know if I want to look it up or not...

Matthewest
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Matthewest
256 posts
Nomad

It's attached to your rod mother licker!

Matthewest
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Matthewest
256 posts
Nomad

I'm impressed with some of the fantastic poems in this thread.

Well done everyone!

adrecka_33
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adrecka_33
304 posts
Peasant

I'm inpressed that anyone could come up with these good of poems for this theme. And do we still get merits if we win or not cause i wouldnt if i were a mod.?

crimsonblade55
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crimsonblade55
5,420 posts
Shepherd

OK,I guess I should attempt to try and make something or this because I am bored right now...

OLD GREGG IS EVIL!!!!

Old Gregg is a demonic fish you know
Some sort of transvestite who's_____it likes to show
The most disturbing thing there will ever be
Is the Bailey's drinking Old Gregg from under the sea
Asking for a guys hand in marriage for reasons unknown
I swear Gregg is like the Swamp Monsters clone
Calling someone a Mother Licker on a boat
I wonder if pure fishy evil will float?
He says "I'm Old Gregg" like people care
Do you find it bit odd that he/she has no hair?
Old Gregg does Water Colors,all of the same thing
that ugly fish face that got caught by a nylon string
Old Gregg is the most evil thing that ever could exist
That is why I purpose Old Gregg an exorcist
This is my plea to rid the world of the evil that it is
To get rid of the disturbing images that were hers/his
So let me ask you one more thing about this sea devil
Do you think Old Gregg is pure evil?

OK,thats something I just came up with right on the spot while listening to music.Hope you "like" it Ubertuna.

FireflyIV
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FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

It's hilarious how disturbed people got from seeing the Ol Gregg episode. The series was on terestrial TV before the watershed. If it's really so bad then a high proportion of the British population now has PTSD.

Out of interest when do these get judged?

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

On paper, a week later. In reality, whenever strikes Ubertuna's fancy. :P

jediboy277
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jediboy277
149 posts
Peasant

Well, he needs to do it soon. I can't bear to read this poetry!
GET ON WITH IT.

Zophia
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Zophia
9,434 posts
Scribe

I think I'm listing Old Greg next to Two Girls One Cup - things I do NOT intend to look up...
Until of course one day my curiosity gets too strong.

But for now I'll just be scared by the reactions and go watch Salad Fingers.

jediboy277
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jediboy277
149 posts
Peasant

Salad Fingers is much better than this!!!

Zophia
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Zophia
9,434 posts
Scribe

Salad Fingers is AWESOME!
First time I've watched all 8 episodes. There is only 8, right?

I'm SO off-topic...

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