ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPeriodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

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DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,058 posts
Blacksmith

First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.

Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:

It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).


Also:

The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted

As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.


OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
  • 3,868 Replies
ubertuna
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ubertuna
2,120 posts
Shepherd

You know how many people are going to have nightmares now?

lol

Is there any reason why i do not get it...

google...
kingryan
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kingryan
4,196 posts
Farmer

Wonders who Old Gregg is....

Hey Uber...you so haven't read my other poems....like the ones I wrote when my gf dumped me for my best friend....

Finally a new theme!

NoNameC68
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NoNameC68
5,043 posts
Shepherd

I guess I will start things off. It isn't very good but I'm not into writing poetry in this manner. (Old Gregg, couldn't resist not to).

Fuzzy little man peach, taking in air
Who are you trying to fool?
Fishing right there?

You made a bad catch, you cannot bicker
The hook's in his head
Foolish mother licker

Now don't despair, he's pleased to meet you
You ever go clubbing?
You ever drunk bailey from a shoe?

You made your assessment, he knows what you think
He's a scaly man fish
Now careful, don't blink

He's got something to show you, what a sight
He's sharing his secret
His mangina light!

Wake in Gregg's place, where are you at?
A suspicious cave
Don't lose your hat

You can't leave now, why would you plead?
Bailey and Gregg
What more do you need?

Look at his water paintings, sharing his art
Of Old Gregg and Baileys
All touching your heart

Now is the question, is it true love?
You might as well agree
Or hang from above

Now's the time, can you see
Love games playing
"Do you love me?"

Ricador
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Ricador
3,722 posts
Shepherd

I went to youtube.

That...was...amazing.

Ricador
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Ricador
3,722 posts
Shepherd

~~~~From Old Gregg's perspective~~~~

When we had our first date
We were in a boat
My heart became so heavy
I was not sure it could float

Standing there in the moonlight
He was such a hunk
So i lifted up my trousers
And i showed him my junk

The beam of light shout out
Right from my mangina
He screamed a manly scream
And i said "you are min-a".

I took him back into my cave
And when he woke up
We drowned ourselves in Bailey's
I looked at him and said "Sup"

I showed him my watercolors
Were getting close
When suddenly he had to leave
I said "Not without a toast"

He refused another Baily
Said he had a meeting
I did know why he would leave
He was getting the beat treating

Suddenly i saw his eyes
As pretty as can be
I looked him dead into the face
And said "Do you love me?"

Then he looked right back at me
And after a moment or two
He looked me right back in the eye
And he said "Of course i love you"

So we disco'd through the night
Ooh you could feel the heat
Because when it comes down to true love
Old Gregg can't be beat!

jediboy277
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jediboy277
149 posts
Peasant

OH HELP ME!!!
IM BLIND!!!!!!!!!!
AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHY WOULD THIS WEB SITE POST A THEME LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Klaushouse
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Klaushouse
2,770 posts
Nomad

Hahaha old gregg, too funny. NoName pretty much blew away the competition there. :P

Except for Klaus's, but I'm not going to encourage is behavior by rewarding it.


That was a good love poem don't be hating.
FireflyIV
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FireflyIV
3,224 posts
Nomad

Wonders who Old Gregg is....


He feautres in an episode of the mighty boosh 2nd series I belive. Its a pretty good episode, youtube it if you really want to know what he's all about. Its well worth it.
Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

HOLY **** ON A **** WITH A **** SANDWICH.

I am scarred now. Thanks a lot Tuna.

Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

I'm going to need time alone and to be in an empty room to look up Old Gregg by the looks of it...

crimsonblade55
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crimsonblade55
5,420 posts
Shepherd

Oh great now I just remembered what greg was.Why did you have to bring that up?It is made to scar people for life I swear...

ubertuna
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ubertuna
2,120 posts
Shepherd

OH HELP ME!!!
IM BLIND!!!!!!!!!!
AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHY WOULD THIS WEB SITE POST A THEME LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!


HOLY **** ON A **** WITH A **** SANDWICH.

I am scarred now. Thanks a lot Tuna.


I'm going to need time alone and to be in an empty room to look up Old Gregg by the looks of it...


You know how many people are going to have nightmares now?


That...was...amazing.


Oh great now I just remembered what greg was.Why did you have to bring that up?It is made to scar people for life I swear...


*dies laughing*
jediboy277
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jediboy277
149 posts
Peasant

*happily scratches eyeballs out and throws them in the trash can*

adrecka_33
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adrecka_33
304 posts
Peasant

I once know an old man
He went by the name of gregg
He was quiet, simple and lonly
Gregg had no friends.
Because the people could only see
His wrinkles, and his missing teeth.
Until one day a young girl
Gave gregg a flower.
Gregg loved that flower
And the day that flower died
So did gregg.
I once knew an old man
Who went by the name of Gregg.
He was a good man.
He was buried out in the cemetary
Where flowers now cover his grave.


Its more like a story then a poem but what the heck.

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

How Seeing Old Gregg Scarred Me For Life

Quiet day, on a boat,
Drifting by with peaceful float,
Waiting for the fish to bite,
Closed my eyes for some respite,
Feeling that something just bit,
Woke and then cried "Holy s**t!"
If it was land I would have ran
From the cannibal merman,
But there I sat, rooted on the spot,
Wasn't my fault, I don't smoke pot,
But the thing was real as he could be
Asking why I fished in his sea.
"Well," I stammered, frightened so,
"I don't know why, I'd better go."
"Oh no you're not, you come with me!"
And he plunged into my memory.

I woke up from that cold nightmare,
Bathed in sweat, shivering, scared.
"'Tis only a dream," thought I to clear my head...

Then I saw Old Gregg right next to me in bed.

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