First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme. It must be submitted by the deadline. It cannot have inappropriate language in it. It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!) Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
It's used as a gold purifier but it is highly toxic. I.e. kill you in 30 seconds toxic
7 secs, actually. If you get poisoned with it, and the antidote isnt already in the syringe, then your screwed. It can also go 'stale', makeing in not-lethal, but can still make you extremely sick.
7 secs, actually. If you get poisoned with it, and the antidote isnt already in the syringe, then your screwed. It can also go 'stale', makeing in not-lethal, but can still make you extremely sick.
Remember boys and girls. Hitler ate cyanide and died.
Moral? If you want to go stlyishly, like a true Nazi and go down in history, cyanide's your best bet.
Things that don't please often have me on my knees begging to stop
I like to make my self believe that planet Earth turns slowly But how can I? Bustling streets running feets Slow it down, can we?
Why cut down a tree? Either way, you'll pay a fee we lived fine before, didn't we?
Bombing shooting suicides oh my! Why not give peace a try?
Feeding the beast isn't easy when I'm always hungry I start to feel queasy I hate being starved
Little children know the rules, don't they? It should be carved in their brain, if you ask me Can't they see I'm getting mad?
Even when I was a little lad you can just ask my Dad That mosquitoes cause me grief And in bug spray, I have no belief the little bugs latching on endless Itching and scratching
So you see, I am rather modest I love most things lest I see one of the things that don't impress me ________________________________________________ Yea, I know, crap.
Decided to style this more like a rap this time instead my usual metrical poetry, because I feel like it. Based roughly on the instrumental for Tupac's Ambitionz as a Ridah (listen here).
Bustahs Can't Impress Me
Seen too many people vyin' For my attention; I been Hounded all the time For just a tiny mention Propaganda everywhere But people unaware Thinkin' status quo's The only way to go And here I am stuck wit' All this artsy s*** I'll be through with this Bustahs can't impress me.
Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter
Every side of the line I see Hypocrisy Bustahs fightin' so hard Just can't come to agree Bigots come before me and Bounce and turn Fend 'em off but they come With an ounce to burn Got a difference between Fighting for your own cause And shootin' your own foot Exposin' your own flaws Coming forward with their jaws of misery Eschewing everything that's necessary As soon as they come across It's a battle lost cause Bustahs can't impress me!
Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter
When you wept I came to you With arms as a friend When you're mad I remind you That you'll see him again But I found that it's a hoax You switched me for some folks Who feed you honey and coke Attention grabbin' It'll happen when they'll Toss you again: Lying in your pool With your own blood and tears No one feel your side To heal those scars and fears Stayin on the streets Whores'll meet deceit Diva thinkin' attention Is all that's worth gettin' Prophesy that you'll cry When it comes for you And then perhaps you'll see Bustahs can't impress me!
Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter
[i]Ain't no turning back now Thinkin' of it all No one to go to No one to impress that don't make a poem sounds weird sounds strange guess it just don't impress me much
It don't impress me at all I mean When it' all awkward an quiet and your feet feel like they have slugs between the toes your stomach turn imward your brain dries up oh crap that really sucks
I don't get impressed easily I more of a unimpressed personality it don't come to often that I marvel at something it's mroe like a belch at something probably you since you don't impress me
Cause when you try to make a poem and it has the word 'impress' and it only rhymes with 'dress' than your screwed To the Max!!! That really don't impress me
things that don't impress me are all over the world from one man bands to those "rare" pink pearls
the list is positively endless oh were do I begin maybe I should start, with the monster from Loch Ness no no no, that's all wrong, my tempers drawing thin
will this torture ever end? does everything impress me?! ...if I can't end this soon my madness will transcend Oh, I've got it, I'm not impressed by my country
not guns or nukes can make up for this stupidity America the free? or America the selfish the news has good sources but I question their validity if you see our dept its positively ghoulish
I could go on and on, our prosperity's outweighed my country does not impress me just like the leader of the USA although this country has potential, so come and impress thee
You think you are smart You think you are great You think you are pretty You think you are important
They say you are boring They say you are lazy They say you are crazy They say you are evil
You think that you are the best You think that everyone else is wrong You think that you rule the world You think that you can do what you want
They say you that you are good, but not the best You really don't care, it's important only what you think They say that you should work harder You say that you don't have to, it's to easy for you
Now where are you? Nobody knows
You should have listened what they say Your huge ego ruined your life
Well, it's that time of the week again ...OK ...Here are the results for this weeks poetry contest ... <drum roll>
NOTE: If you would like your poem critiqued, feel free to ask other members at the bottom of your poem post. Members will feel more free to voice their opinions if prompted to do so by the author. Thank you.
1st Place - Parsat
Bustahs Can't Impress Me
Seen too many people vyin' For my attention; I been Hounded all the time For just a tiny mention Propaganda everywhere But people unaware Thinkin' status quo's The only way to go And here I am stuck wit' All this artsy s*** I'll be through with this Bustahs can't impress me.
Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter
Every side of the line I see Hypocrisy Bustahs fightin' so hard Just can't come to agree Bigots come before me and Bounce and turn Fend 'em off but they come With an ounce to burn Got a difference between Fighting for your own cause And shootin' your own foot Exposin' your own flaws Coming forward with their jaws of misery Eschewing everything that's necessary As soon as they come across It's a battle lost cause Bustahs can't impress me!
Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter
When you wept I came to you With arms as a friend When you're mad I remind you That you'll see him again But I found that it's a hoax You switched me for some folks Who feed you honey and coke Attention grabbin' It'll happen when they'll Toss you again: Lying in your pool With your own blood and tears No one feel your side To heal those scars and fears Stayin on the streets *****s'll meet deceit Diva thinkin' attention Is all that's worth gettin' Prophesy that you'll cry When it comes for you And then perhaps you'll see Bustahs can't impress me!
Won't lie to you, I'm just a straight writer But the forces outside are pullin' even tighter
Bustahs can't impress me!
I liked the street appeal of your poem...it flowed perfectly, just like a well-written rap
2nd Place - nichodemus
I Don't Impress Myself
Come and stay my tears have flown, To collect the dark things I've sown. I'm disgusted by what I've done, Down in the dumps I'm really no fun.
Bit the tasteless endless dust, And collasped every single trust. I'm not dazzled by what I've done, And I can see why you want to run.
I was walking down that dark path. While they tried to drag me in with wrath. I'm not pleased with what I've done, I shot an arrow and took your Sun.
I've lamented at my entire life, And tried to end it all with my knife. I'm not proud of what I've done, Now I see why you'll always shun.
I've rejected all your help and care, And thought my burden I could not share. I'm not ecstatic of what I've done, What a tangled web I have spun.
I don't impress myself, And for that I'll erase thyself. Watch as I wipe this slate white, My smile's the last to fade from sight.
I'll come back with the old self, And all the detested I will shelf. I don't impress myself one bit, And I will change that.
Definitely can feel the emotion of self-loathing in this poem, well done.
3rd Place - TSL3_needed
Things That Don't Impress Me
Few things impress me, Including things I cannot see, Like the simple fee, For letting me be.
Things that impress me, Never come to be, And are few and far between, Never getting seen.
Fights, Lights, Shovels And snow.
Those do not impress me, But are often the key, To things that be, And things we see.
All the ghosts, The demons, The banshees And wraiths.
Those impress me, But they are never seen, Left to be, Caught in the in between.
Cyanide, Suicide, Homicide, Causing them to die.
The supernatural, The paranormal, The things we cannot explain, Are things that impress me.
Few things else impress me, Architecture, Empires, And forest fires.
Those impress me, But rise and fall, As life and death do, As the tide of the pacific does.
Nothing else impresses me, Not darkness, Not war, Not even the greatest natural forces.
Only the rare things impress me, But nothing else does, Things I never see, Are things that impress me.
Really like the flow of this poem, nice job!
Honorable Mentions - dudeguy45 & krizaz
A huge THANKS to EVERYONE that participated in this weeks contest, and if your name wasn't mentioned this week, please keep on trying, and eventually you will see your name placed!
A round of applause to all this weeks participants!
Now, for this weeks theme ... this weeks theme is"Finding Oneself" . This can be a poem about you or someone close to you and the current or past path to finding yourself or themselves, like a "coming of age" poem. The deadline will beWednesday, August 5th.
