First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme. It must be submitted by the deadline. It cannot have inappropriate language in it. It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!) Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
My flesh and blood lies past the sea, But all our hopes lie here on me. I am the heir to ancient name: The only known, as genealogies went up in flame. Who knows where else my plum-blood dwells? It's past my ken, only luck can tell. And still I look past aspects of my birth To my life here upon this earth: Child of God, imperial flesh, Lover of wit and words enmeshed-- Perhaps I cannot seek to understand My truth, my life, my mortal plans...
And so I savor who I am.
----
AN: The Plum-Blood refers to my surname, which means "lum" in Chinese. It was once the surname of a mighty dynasty.
Nichodemus: Actually, the name of each dynasty is distinct from the actual surname of the family. In this case, the Tang Dynasty was actually started by a man whose birth name was Li Yuan, but whose imperial name was Tang Gaozu.
Now when it comes to plums, both of them do mean plum, but from what I usually hear, "li" typically refers to the fresh fruit, while "mei" is a more common word that can refer to the flower, fresh fruit, or dried fruit. Not a hundred percent sure if that's right, but that's my thoughts on the usage. No one has a surname of this "mei" though.
Zhang...I assume it's the "gong chang" Zhang variety (broken down by radicals) rather than the "li zao" type?
What's really funny about the Li family is that the progenitor of the name had a genetic anomaly where his little fifth toe was not straight like his other toes, and the nail on that toe had two sections, with one side seeming to overlap the other. I dismissed this as mere legend until I took a good look at my toes. Apparently I really am descended from this guy.
Where am I? I can't seem to find out. Dingy, dark, dirty, grungy, No comforting hope of home. The giant grab of God, Grappling me, and putting me here.
Secluded alone, dark corner. Walls tainted with blood, Red fills my eyes, makes me scream! I can't see? My eyes are? Blindfolded.
Mmm... potato. Wake up! A burlap sack is clinging to my face. I can't move. Paralyzed by my own fear. Wait! My hands are free as a criminal on parole! Reach into my jacket. Feeling the frigid touch of metal.
Loaded? Good. Now shoot! Crack! Uugnhhh... a man groaned and I heard a sound like a sack of potatoes hitting the ground. Rip of this burlap-ish blindfold. I see red again! What have I done?
Slipping on the red and yellow blood covered linoleum. I run? What else would I do? I hear sirens! I ditch my shoes, and walk into McDonald's. Egg McMuffin please?
What have I done?
I can't bear to ask myself... Who am I? And what am I doing?
Well... I wrote that quite randomly. LOL as you can tell by the potatoes, parole, and Egg McMuffin.
If I were an album I'd be solid gold; If I were an burger I'd be billions sold; If I were an movie I'd be 2 thumbs up; If I were an sports team I'd win the world cup; If I were an novel I'd be best seller; If I were a planet I'd be voted most stellar; If I were a paper I'd be most quoted; If I were a song I'd be most downloaded; If I were a fat kid I'd be most bloated; If I were a network I'd be number one; If I were a comedian I'd never tell a bad pun; I am the best- now this poem is done!
I am sad to say, I am stepping down from judging the poetry contest for 2 reasons, One, I am currently experiencing some health problems and I don't see and end to these in the near future, 2nd, I am honestly tired of people asking me immature and "un-called for" questions like, "who put you in charge?" and other such things. I am sorry, but I don't have the time for this frivolous BS from young peeps who obviously have nothing better to do but pick on whom they consider "newbies". Does no one read anyones BIOS around here? I am way more qualified then most to judge that poetry contest. That being said, I am stepping down immediately, I am sorry, but I am in so much pain today and considering that tomorrow is judging day, I don't see me feeling better then either. I have already forwarded this message to the appropriate people. I will still post poetry every once in a while. Good luck to all of you!
Wow wistress... sorry to hear that. I really hope you get better soon (if not eventually!) You were an awesome judge
Thanks so much, I don't know why people were saying you weren't qualified... (you're much more qualified than most people here, lol). See you around then.
