The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?" "What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I think you're bad luck."
this my last joke A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check. When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied. "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
ok. a man is petting a brown dog while sitting in a chair, his wife walks in, the man says, "I've been meaning to talk to you about something." he said, you wanna know how I know that this dog isn't my old pet henry? he said. "One, Yesterday Henry ran out into the road and died." "Two, Henry has black fur not brown." "Three, Henry..." he paused. "Henry is a cat."
Ok, 2 hunters are in their truck going to some hunting grounds, the first hunter says "oh hell, I haven't been there in forever, I hope it's still there..." Well as it turns out There was a big far where it was supposed to be... but luckily there was still some forest behind the farm. So the first hunter says to the second farmer that he will be right back. So he gets out the truck and walks up to the farm and knocks on the door. An old man answers and says "Oh hi there, what brings you 'round these parts here"? The hunter replies "I was wondering if I can hunt in the forest back there, I used to hunt there when i was a younging" "Well" the farmer says I'll make you a deal. If you go 'round back and shoot my old cow there then I'll let you guys hunt" So with that the first hunter goes down to the truck. Well he decides to pull a joke on his friend. He gets to the truck and says "That old bastard won't let us hunt here... so I am gonna go 'round back and shoot one of his cows!" So with that the first hunter goes around back. Then the second hunter hears a bang and smiles. When the first hunter came down to tell his friend that it was a joke and that was part of deal... his friend was gone! Then the first hunter hears to more bangs and sees his friend running toward the truck His friend yells "GET IN THE TRUCK... I GOT THE DOG AND CAT TOO"!!!
John says to his friend, Bill, that he is so famous that everyone on earth knows him. Bill asks, "Oh yeah? How about the president?" So they go to the White House and go to the president, the president notices John and they start up a friendly chat, then afterwards, Bill says, "I bet the Queen of England doesn't know you" So they go to England and they go to the queen, she notices John and they have a nice little talk over some tea, Bill says, "Oh yeah? Well I bet the pope doesn't know you!" So they got to see the pope, he immediately recognizes John, the citizens of the city he's in gather around, and the pope talks with all the people while both John and the pope are standing at the top of a high post so they could talk to the citizens, they had their arms around each other's neck friendly, just hanging out, afterwards, John comes down and sees Bill on the ground, passed out, John asks Bill, "What's the matter? You didn't faint when the president and queen recognized me." Then Bill said, "No, it's not that, I was watching, a suddenly, some guy next to me asked, 'Hey, whos that guy with his arm around John's neck?'"
A brunette is walking down the railroad tracks, muttering "34, 34, 34." A blond walking by decides to follow her, also muttering "34, 34, 34." The walk for a few minutes, and the whistle of a train sounds. The brunette seems to not notice. The train continues blasting its horn. At the last second, the brunette jumps off the tracks and avoids the train, but the blond is run over. The brunette gets back on the tracks, muttering "35, 35, 35."
