Forums → WEPR → Anti-Breakfastarians

First off, can a mod lock the other one?

This is a club to fight the evil that is the breakfastarians.

You wanna join?

Then simply say you want to, and you're in. Unless you are already a breakfastarians, and trust me, i know those who's souls are lost and dark (lol?).

The five commandments:

1.Though shalt not eat any items in between the times of 4:00AM and 11:59AM.
2.Thou shalt eat plenty of delicious foods at luch and dinner, and they must be kept delicious (unless you suck at cooking).
3.Thou must eat sandwiches at least 4 times a week, for they are the holy food of the gods (specifically Elvis).
4.Thou must not covet thy neighbors breakfast, for thou will be condemned to date Lindsey Lohan if seen committing such an act.
5.Thou shalt through darts at a picture of a pancake every Sunday, for pancakes are a food of pure evil.

The Holy Text:

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then, out of the darkness, rose a sub sandwich. sub ($5 dollar foot longs are now a regular part of the subway menu). And God was happy. But, sadly, God devoured his sub much to quickly, as it was delicious. So he made more sandwiches, and other food such as chicken, and fruit, and cookies, and other wonderful items. But alas, his mistake lie with the chicken. For from the chicken there came an egg, and the concept of Breakfast was born. Later, the Earth was dark and ugly, with this new "breakfast", so God sent forth a great flood. He wiped away all signs of breakfast, and the Earth was cleansed. But wait, Gods arch-enemy, the devil, re-created the chicken. And the Earth once again slipped into an un-pure state. God was displeased, his subjects were disobeying his holy law. So God waited, hoping they could fix this wrong themselves. So god created the Mayans, and he had them let the world know the world would end on 20/12, the next cleansing and washing away of breakfast. And, success, everyone new the world would end then, but they still continued to eat breakfast. Why? Had God not warned them if they did not stop, they would be flushed (except in this case, it would not be a flood but a slow cracking of the economy, because wanted to see them suffer so they would never go wrong again). So, why had they not listened?!?!Of course? God had forgot to include why the Earth would end. And he could no longer contact Earth again, because he had no minutes left, and since he did not have AT&T, he did not have rollover minutes. So, alas, he would have to wait until the end. With no hope of the people coming back to the right side of things. But wait, a glimmer of hope shone in the distance, Daswiftarrow. He was a user on AG, and he called himself the Anti-Pancake. And there was Ricador, a user fed up with the breakfastarians, and when he saw the anti-pancake, he was inspired, and this thread was born. As well as far to many baby's being born, causing global warming, but that does not mean Abortion should be legalized. And now all God can do is sit back with a sandwich, and wait, and hope, the human race can be corrected, before it will all end-FOREVER.