Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → *Zophinfestedwriting*

*sighs* No attention whatsoever... Oh well. I can just continue posting.

When I write poetry, I write for my own pleasure. When I post my poems somewhere, I do it to get feedback... Constructive criticism on meter/rhyme, thoughts that was brought to the readers mind, that sort of thing... I want to know what I convey.
But I do see your point, as long as it is regarding poetry.

When I write stories (just short ones, there are a few in this thread), I do it just as much for the sake of those who end up reading it as for myself. Hence, I want to know what people think of my ideas even more...
I love comments. I don't wanna sound like I'm complaining about not getting any, I am only saying I would like to get more...
On both my drawings and my writing. Sadly the visual art gets so much more attention, despite the written having taken more effort and (most often) time...

They are more a personal affair. It's like thinking out loud, just hoping that there is someone out there who would hear.

Why did you do a poem about a crow?

Why did you do a poem about a crow?

I like crows. And the rhyme fitted it. Crows have a bit of a special meaning to me...

Hehe~ I have a white-eyed crow character. Very spooky being. But I love it all the same, and generally think crows are beautiful creatures... Oh, I'd love to have a tamed crow... Intelligent birds they are...

Something I'm working on...

A baby... A kitten... A tiny newborn nenchiss... He's alone in the cold alley, curled up on the stony pavement, chirpmiwling... Tiny raindrops are falling like dust on his fur, making the little creature lose his body heat quickly...
But he was - lucky. A grown male found him and decided to pick him up, save his life, take care of him. The first couple of years seeped by as years do with nenchiss kittens, even though his "father" was pretty frustrated over the little kittens uneasy sleep. Was he suffering from nightmares? Difficult to say with such a young one, but the little creature often woke up in the middle of the night, screaming his lungs out. It was difficult for his "father" to handle, he often considered dropping the kitten back out on the street. But at the same time he couldn't make himself do that. The kitten was so helpless...
Years went by, just a few of them, and the little kitten began - as most nenchiss kittens - to "borrow" shiny things. His "father" noticed that the youngster more often than not was playing with some of his loot. The kitten had gotten hold of the items without the adult noticing, suddenly they were just in his playpen.
When the little nenchiss was old enough (some six years), his "father" encouraged him to steal from others, and even though he failed quite a few times he quickly displayed his inborn trait - a fine ability to be unnoticed. To his "father"'s joy, he was talented both as a pickpocket and a shoplifter, and the adult shifted from seeing the kid as an annoying but cute kitten he had randomly gotten the responsibility for, to a potential source of money. So he started training him, being a somewhat skilled thief himself.
When he was eight years old, he was his "father" on a burglary job for the first time.
When he was ten, he, for the first time, didn't get away.
They had broken into a gang's hideout. His "father" got away with the loot, but the little nenchiss lad tripped and fell from the roof of the hideout-building. He broke one of the otherwise strong bones in one of his legs. The gang got hold of him. Took their anger out on him. Beat him up. Broke a bone in his tail, kicked pain into all of his little body... He screamed oh so loud, thought his dad would come to save him... But no. With such a big loot as this had given him, he no longer needed the kitten and certainly wouldn't risk losing the treasure and get beaten up himself, just because the kid tripped.
When the gang was done unleashing their rage on the kitten, they left him to bleed, about as helpless as he had been when he first arrived to the world. The poor little thing lay there for hours, bleeding and being unconscious, but yet again someone found him and felt pity for him.

Nice done on the translation, so far.

Nice done on the translation, so far.

You could just rewrite it, making it more storylike?

Yes, but translaties first?

Oh, but you already have the storyline? Is that just not making the work twice?

Yup.

But I'm a lazy /b/tard...

Which is also why this never got finished:

I ran around, searching through the gray grass for my Owner. She'd left me there, for some reason. I never cared much for her reasons, I just wished she would have taken me along... I didn't like being left with that big cat, but she said that was the only way she felt safe from or for me - or something, I didn't really listen then... So anyway. I was still sniffing around when suddenly that big, black cat decided she'd had enough of me. She grabbed me in my neckskin and lifted me, even though I whined to get her to release me. Then something very odd happened. It was something I was going to experience many times later in my life, yes, nowadays it's even something I do frequently, but back then it was very weird to me. It was like a pulling mixed with a flowing sensation through all of my cells, and then I couldn't see anything. Then suddenly it stopped being like that, and I hung from her jaw in a completely different place. I was so surprised I even stopped whining. There was colours!! Lots of green grass, and a blue sky, and trees, and and and... My tail swooshed from side to side in ecstatic puppy joy while the cat carried me towards a castle.

*sighs* No attention for writing, I know...
Oh well, this next one may interest just a few who have bothered to notice Kai and/or Yazz... Oldish, kind of hurts now... The [***] are parts that are left out due to sexually suggestive nature. Hopefully it doesn't ruin the flow.

Yazz looked down at the little boy sleeping in her arms, suckling on his thumb. He seemed to be a six year old, wearing nothing but his large, tattered, grey shirt... She wondered again why Kai ageshifted when he was - sick, felt pathetic, etc. It actually happened quite a lot...
She stroked his black hair gently, the three fingers of her hand settling one of his bright red bangs behind his ear, making sure not to touch the ear while doing so - she didn't wanna wake him, he clearly needed the sleep.
Frowning she looked at a bruise on his arm - how had that happened? Oh well, he was always hurt one way or another... If not bruises, then broken or crushed bones, wounds, swollen marks... His permanent headache...
Her long, prehensile tail snaked around his bare feet while she stroked him gently down his back. So many scars...
When he was his normal self he was a twenty year old Surrurian, a race that basically resembled humans, but grew bigger and lived much longer. He'd probably outlive her by far, unless one of his missions managed to kill him... It had been close enough more times than she wanted to think about, he'd been poisoned, stabbed, beaten severely, crushed, burned... The list went on and on. Yazz didn't even know a third of it, and what she knew was almost too much for her...
She knew he'd been molested many times when he was just a little kid. She knew the Government had taken him from his foster parents at an early age as well. His real - though not biological - parents were the king and queen of Dahn. He hadn't been born...
Her thought's trailed off into a noncoherent wondering while she stroked gently down his arm, taking hold of his free hand.
So many terrible things stuffed into his life... She'd only known him for a couple of years, but just in those - he had been addicted to pills, painkillers mostly... And alcohol... And he'd been cutting himself so badly... She hadn't witnessed much of this, but she knew about it... She knew about it...
She lifted his hand, his right one, studied it - it was scarred, the bones had been broken, there had been nails hammered through the muscles - and yet he was still able to paint the most beautiful paintings she'd ever seen.
Her blue eyes scanned his pale, skinny body, a smile curving the corners of her mouth as she remembered how sickeningly thin he had been and compared it to his current state. It was getting better, and hopefully it would stay like that. If he didn't get too ill, or got trapped somewhere... And with the Creature insisting to protect him now, that was far less likely to happen.
As if summoned by her thoughts, Vap pushed the door leading into the room they sat in open, and wandered in. It's tail wagging slowly, the purple eyes looking intelligently up at her, seeming to ask if Kai was alright, though it knew. It jumped onto the couch, it's silky white fur bouncing lightly as it flapped the tiny wings. So small and adorable in it's puppy form, so huge and agile in it's true form... It was a Creature that feeded on her and Kai's love for each other, and grew with it. And it was strong.
It curled up against the boy's feet, having snugly placed itself under Yazz's vibrant green tailtuft, closing it's eyes and dozing off while emitting warmth and loving energy. Yazz smiled, having released the little hand to pet the Creature a few times, making it wag faster before it fell asleep.
It would protect them, she knew it.
Kai shifted his weight a little in his sleep, his thumb slipping out of his mouth and a trickle of drool dribbling onto her blouse... She suppresed a giggle, finding him immensely cute. Her sweet mate, her little lad - she was fine with his occasional being childish (to the very extent of that words meaning). When he was his normal self, he was a good mate. Her handsome boyfriend...
She failed to suppress another giggle as she looked down at the little boy, the dark thoughts erased from her mind in a moment of sheer loving joy. He'd probably wake up soon, maybe even ageshift back - she wanted to kiss him, but it felt weird when he was young like that. And he was such a good kisser...
Her thoughts dove into a pile of memories, their first kiss, many of their other kisses, how sweet and tender he was sometimes... [***]
She sighed, looked down at him and stroked over his hair again. He made a low mumbling noise and grasped her blouse lightly, tugging a snip of it close to his chest. She covered his naked thighs a bit better with his shirt, it having slipped a little when he moved, exposing his butt till she noticed.
She wondered where he'd left his pants, looking around their living room for a moment, ears raised - no sign of them.
Ah well, they didn't fit him anyway when he was that small... [***]
The boy yawned and curled up with his face and knees closer to her rounded belly.
She pondered for a moment if she should wake him up, then looked up as the door opened again, their adoptive son, Ozzi, looking in, his orange eyes darting across the room and coming to a rest on Yazz and Kai.
"Is Dad okay?" he asked silently, seeming slightly worried.
"Yeah;" she said, just as silently as the young nenchiss, smiling at him.
"Don't worry."
"Okay..."
He smiled, walked over to the couch and sat down next to the Creature, leaning in slightly as his mom petted him gently. Both of them purred, he from kittenlike joy set off by getting attention, her because everything was at peace and good.
Kai stirred again, yawned and stretched his arms, then slowly opened his eyes and blinked slightly confused up at Yazz, who smiled in return. Still half asleep, he smiled happily at her, then sat up on her lap, rubbing an eye sleepily.
Ozzi looked at his father, then turned his attention to the still sleeping and slowly wagging Vap.
Yazz looked at her mate with a slightly parental, loving smile.
He looked back with his blue and brown eyes, smiling, then spoke:
"I'm hungry."

Too much have changed...