Many people have asked me and the other mods "How do I become a moderator?" For a long time, us mods have been hinting at how you can become a moderator but I am here to pute it all together and a little more.
What it means to be a mod Being a mod is terribly fun. You get a cool cloak and a mighty hammer. Though the mad fun only lasts a few days. Then it becomes work and can get boring. Of course, we hold great parties thats worth all the sweat and hard work.
Picking a new moderator You may think that mods are picked depending on how many are available and so on. That is not necessarily the case. In fact, I will tell you now that being picked to become a moderator is not exactly about being smart, reliable, and trustworthy. In fact, it is left to chance. Of course, those are always the traits of a good mod.
You see, it can be hard to trust people. Nobody want's to pick someone and be betrayed. By picking random people, a bad mod would leave nobody to blame. Lucky for us chance is on our side (at least, so far).
When do we decide to pick a new mod? Being as busy as we are, every week we send a messenger out to the ArmorGames shack. Here, we have a secret passage that can only be opened by removing the *MOM! IM BUSY! WHO IS IT? TELL THEM TO CALL BACK LATER! IM BUSY RIGHT NOW!* Where was I? Oh yes, anyways after you open the passage you will see this tunnel.
Now our messenger removes their shoes and they must light the Candle of Mobile Light. In doing so they walk down the tunnel untill they reach a hole in the floor filled with water. They must swim into the hole which is actually another tunnel. Its dark under the water but luckilly we provide the messenger with extra matches just in case the flame on the Candle of Mobile Light goes out. They will eventually swim to a closed door. The door will be locked and to unlock the door the messenger must whistle a secret melody... the same melody found in one of the games in ArmorGames, which is called *MOM! PLEASE! ITS BEEN LIKE 2 MINUTES! SERIOUSLY! I DONT CARE HOW BAD IT IS... OH... ALRIGHT...
...Ill talk to you later. Alright, I love you too grandma. Alright, bye.* Anyways, after you whistle that catchy tune under the water, the door will open. Swim through it and back up out of another hole and there will be a magical coin. The messenger will flip the coin and if it lands on the side with a head on it, it is time to pick a new mod. If it lands on the side with the bird on it, we will wait another week before we send a new messenger.
Choosing the new moderator If the coin from the shack lands on heads, the 5th Tuesday of the next month we arrange a meeting on the island located just north east of *WHAT IS IT NOW? NO I CANT TAKE THE TRASH OUT! WHY DONT YOU DO IT?! MOM!!! THANK YOU! JEEZ! I can't seem to get anything done around here.* Oh my gosh, the island is so relaxing. Anyways, at the island, there is an underground temple.
We have a guard who watches over the entrance and the messenger must be the one to pursuade the guard to allow us mods to enter, so we may choose the next moderator. The messenger must stand on their left leg, hop up and down, sing "Eye of the Tiger", eat the Apple of... well just a normal apple, with one arm around their back, while juggling a socker ball in the air with their left foot. After doing that, the guard lets the messenger through the door while the other moderators follow the them.
Inside the temple, there is a small room with a locked door. The mods walk through the doorway past the door that is locked open (we found no reason to ever lock it shut) into this big dark room lit with only a few candles. Inside the room, the mods each bring an item that is needed for the choosing of the next mod.
Some mods are in charge of bringing the sacrifice(s) such as a goat or two-headed chicken, others are in charge of bringing the pizza roles and soda. While wearing the dark robes, we take the animals and we *WHAT?! WHAT?!?!?! MOM! PLEASE! MOM! DONT YELL AT ME! IM BUSY MOM! IM BUSY! BUSY!!! NO! IM NOT DOING... NO, IM NOT DOING IT. MOM! I TOLD YOU, I AM NOT CLEANI... FINE! JUST LET ME FINISH UP WHAT IM DOING FIRST! YES I WILL CLEAN MY ROOM LATER TONIGHT! YES, I PROMISE! ...HEY MOM! CAN YOU BRING ME A SODA? OUT? WELL WHEN YOU GO SHOPPING BUY SOME.* Ummm, oh ya, now that is all over with, the dark room will be lit up with the bright lights of the legendary Wheel of Moderation! This wheel contains every single name of every single member on AG. The most recently chosen mod then spins the wheel and round and round the wheel there goes, where it stops nobody knows. Finaly, when the wheel slows and stops, whomever the arrow is pointing too, shall become our newest mod!
Mod annitiation After the wheel lands on a name, we find that person and they pay $20 and they are given their mod hammer and cloak.
There you have it folks, how to become a mod! So if you want to be a mod, disregard everything I said. Thank You and farewell.
5th tuesday. first there is no 5th tuesday of any month, second the candle wouldturn off under water third you cant whisle under water. theres more thing youre doing to try to trick ignorant ag users.
And here's another question... Everyone knows moderators are gods with infinite powers such as the banhammer, an infinite amount of locks with which they close threads, and making a good cup of tea.
But, who created the messenger which chose the first mod?
Reading the post above me, this is somewhat alike. It seems there are more of us mere mortals who crack their brains over these important matters.
The first mod was the one who discovered the secret scrolls to the wheel of moderation. The messengers are mysterous people who work for us mods. They don't come around online though.
The messengers do not choose the mods. They only do the tricky stuff such as flipping the mysterious coin and such.
If you are willing to pay $40, we will gladly take the donations but it will not affect your chances of becoming a mod any.
