Very nice poem. Though you had different rhyming patterns, you made it all work out pretty good. Keep up the good work and whatever you do, don't stop drawing.
I got a few more in the works.....so i will post them in the next few days. Thank you all for your knid words, and a bit of constructive critisism would be nice as well.
Iâd give up almost anything For all the ones I love If I could reach up in the sky Iâd give you the stars above. Yes Iâd give you almost anything But I canât give what you ask I canât let go of all of this And be as I was in the past.
Oh what is it in me thatâs changed What is it you see here now? Why have you all run away Before our final bow? The lights are getting lower now But I canât let all of this go So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes For the ending weâll never know.
You asked me for the impossible You asked me to let it go. The one thing that I had for safety The one thing I would know And I tried so hard to tell you That I was still your very best friend But I needed that beside me Or I wouldnât make it to the end.
Oh what is it in me thatâs changed What is it you see here now? Why have you all run away Before our final bow? The lights are getting lower now But I canât let all of this go So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes For the ending weâll never know.
Thereâs so much missing So much Iâll never get back But at the same time youâre trying to tell me Itâs all because of something I lack? Itâs more because Iâve found something Something I canât let go And tears form in my eyes but still I have to make my own ending to know.
Oh what is it in me thatâs changed What is it you see here now? Why have you all run away Before our final bow? The lights are getting lower now But I canât let all of this go So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes For the ending weâll never know.
Beauty and trust you mistake for lust I canât let go, you canât make me now I refuse to believe this has changed for the worst Or that Iâm hurting you all somehowâ¦
Oh what is it in me thatâs changed What is it you see here now? Why have you all run away Before our final bow? The lights are getting lower now But I canât let all of this go So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes For the ending weâll never know.
Iâd have grabbed for you the stars above But I canât and wonât give up my love⦠So if we say goodbye here, so it must be But youâre the only ones losing me Because I canât give up my everything Itâs the only part of anything The only part of almost anything I wonât let go.
does that actually work? Wait let me retry that...
Iâd give up almost anything For all the ones I love If I could reach up in the sky Iâd give you the stars above. Yes Iâd give you almost anything But I canât give what you ask I canât let go of all of this And be as I was in the past. Oh what is it in me thatâs changed What is it you see here now? Why have you all run away Before our final bow? The lights are getting lower now But I canât let all of this go So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes For the ending weâll never know. You asked me for the impossible You asked me to let it go. The one thing that I had for safety The one thing I would know And I tried so hard to tell you That I was still your very best friend But I needed that beside me Or I wouldnât make it to the end. Oh what is it in me thatâs changed What is it you see here now? Why have you all run away Before our final bow? The lights are getting lower now But I canât let all of this go So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes For the ending weâll never know. Thereâs so much missing So much Iâll never get back But at the same time youâre trying to tell me Itâs all because of something I lack? Itâs more because Iâve found something Something I canât let go And tears form in my eyes but still I have to make my own ending to know. Oh what is it in me thatâs changed What is it you see here now? Why have you all run away Before our final bow? The lights are getting lower now But I canât let all of this go So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes For the ending weâll never know. Beauty and trust you mistake for lust I canât let go, you canât make me now I refuse to believe this has changed for the worst Or that Iâm hurting you all somehow⦠Oh what is it in me thatâs changed What is it you see here now? Why have you all run away Before our final bow? The lights are getting lower now But I canât let all of this go So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes For the ending weâll never know. Iâd have grabbed for you the stars above But I canât and wonât give up my love⦠So if we say goodbye here, so it must be But youâre the only ones losing me Because I canât give up my everything Itâs the only part of anything The only part of almost anything I wonât let go.
The 2nd poem was really good as well. You really did a good job with the rhyming. Not really forced but its there enough to give your poems a nice sence of flow. The mood of the poem was expressed very nicely.
These two poems; they both showed a character who is very clinging. Heartbroken as well. I will comment more on your profile possibly tomorow. Right now I need some sleep. Keep up the good work.
